Porcelain Skin (NOW ON AMAZON KU)

45. Twice Dead

I wake up way too early to be considered healthy, but my mind is racing and I just can't get my thoughts to settle down long enough to fall back to sleep. Drifting into a peaceful slumber was nearly impossible last night. How is a girl supposed to get some shuteye after a kiss like that? To realize that the guy you've wanted for so long reciprocates your feelings is just too good to be true. I probably smiled my way into a night of sweet dreams, and now here I am still smiling at five o'clock in the morning.

Once I realize that sleep won't come, I pull myself out of bed and prepare for my morning run. I decide to go an extra few miles because I have plenty of time to spare and sitting around my dorm room waiting for Trevor to text me would make me feel pathetic.

I actually venture as far as my good old pal, Merv: my barn. I'm sweating through my clothes by the time I climb up the ladder and settle myself down near the barn loft door. The sun is just beginning to awaken, peeking its tired eyes open just enough to cast a honeyed glow across the barren fields. It starts out timid with a light blush blossoming across the expanse and turns into a harsh slap of gold as the intensity of the sun increases. Eventually, the colors even out until the familiar light blue of day is the only color remaining. I pull myself up from my relaxed position and start back towards campus.

It's nearly seven-thirty by the time I make it back, and I'm feeling the exhaustion from my run and very little sleep. I take a prune-inducing shower before finally stepping out into the steam-filled room. I'm dressed and ready for my day by eight-thirty and decide that I'd better attempt to finish some homework.

By ten-thirty my phone still remains silent. I keep checking it about every ten minutes, but my inbox is still empty. Class starts in an hour, so I'm debating whether or not to just show up at Trevor's apartment. I'm wondering if he forgot that he mentioned getting coffee together today. And if so, how is that possible? If he felt anything even close to the way I felt then he should have texted the moment he woke up. So maybe he wasn't awake.

With this thought, I stuff my books into my bag, sling it over my shoulder, and make the ten-minute walk to his place. The closer I get the more nervous I feel. What if he really doesn't feel how I feel? What if he regrets the kiss? Some people just enjoy kissing without the emotions attached. Would he have done that to me knowing how I feel about him? I can't imagine he'd do something so heartless.

Taking a deep breath I knock. I wait a moment but there's no answer. I knock again and eventually hear some shuffling behind the door. A moment later it swings open to reveal a very put-together Trevor. From the looks of it, he's been up for awhile. His clothes are neat, and his hair is styled, no longer damp from a shower.

I smile the moment I see him, but my lips falter when he doesn't return the gesture. He continues to stare at me in confusion until something flickers in his eyes—realization.

"Emma," he says as he glances behind himself briefly before stepping outside, leaving the door slightly ajar as his hand rests on the doorknob. "What are you doing here?"

"Um," I scratch my eyebrow while shooting him an odd look. "You mentioned getting coffee before class, but I never heard from you, so I figured I'd just come on over."

"Aw, shoot." He rubs the back of his neck. "Did you text first?" he asks while pulling out his phone from his pocket to check.

"Uh... no." I'm suddenly feeling devastatingly uncomfortable. Nothing about the way he is acting seems normal, and I'm getting the feeling that he doesn't exactly want me here. 

"Listen," he says softly. "Now isn't the best time. I'm really sorry that I forgot about coffee, but we're gonna have to reschedule for another time." Something like pity falls into the creases of his brows, and I'm wondering why he's acting so strange.