Finding Gilbert Blythe

Leaving Gilbert Blythe

May 2012

Dear Ms Ridley Denvers,

                                                  It gives us great pleasure to inform you that you have been offered a place in the class of 2016 in the University of Oxford.

                                After carefully reviewing your application, we have decided that your excellent   attitude and enthusiasm for the course you have applied for is exactly what we look for in our students.

                            Attached to this letter, you will find all the necessary documents, such as an admissions package, along with information on how to accept this offer. Please respond within 4 weeks, as there are many other applicants who are waiting for any unaccepted spots!

                         We wish to once again congratulate you and we hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,

Oxford University Admissions

➜➜➜ 

"You're really leaving, huh?"

Ridley does not meet Ben's eyes and he sighs, fiddling with Ridley's acceptance letter in his hands. "I'm proud of you," he says. Awkward pause. "I mean it. I really am. You've worked really, really hard for this and—"

"Where will you be going?" Ridley interrupts him and its Ben's turn to look away and Ridley wishes she never even asked that question to him. But she's genuinely curious. He got his acceptance letter about a week before she got hers and he's been avoiding it for so long, and she's aching to know. "Ben," Ridley presses on and she reaches out to grab his hand but he quickly shifts away.

"Don't." His voice is hard. Ridley grimaces, though she's used to his brush offs by now. They haven't been the same since his confession, and their fight, and something has shifted between them and it's been killing Ridley for months. They barely talk now, only acknowledging each other if they're forced to, and it's worse now that he's officially quit working at Aroma.

"Ben, you're being really difficult right now," Ridley bursts out and suddenly she feels like her four year old self, all those years ago, when she smacked Ben's face with that book and all the composure she's had for all these months is crumbling down and now she's panicking because she only has a few more months with Ben before she goes to University, before he goes to University, and she fears that if she doesn't sort out their awkwardness it will stay there for the rest of their lives and they won't be friends anymore and, god, she's crying again. She cries so easily nowadays. "Ben, please." She gets up and walks away, shutting her eyes and breathing in slowly. "Please," she says, turning around to face him again. "Can't we just...just go back to being the way we were before? I just miss what was between us before everything got ruined and—"

"It's not easy, you know?" Ben sounds so angry. "It's not easy because you've never actually been in love before, have you? Look at you, all grown up and beautiful, and now you're an Oxford student with nothing but future essays to worry about. I – I don't want to love you but I can't seem to help myself. And knowing that you don't feel the same way kills me and you've been acting so casual about it, like nothing's changed—"

"It shouldn't, though!" Ridley groans. "Ugh, are we really having this conversation again? All I want is for us to be friends again, to be normal and just talk about things like the way we used to! And you think I have nothing to worry about? Oh, you know that's not true, Ben. God, you know I have so much on my plate right now. I have Marcy to worry about and – and I worry about you, too, because believe it or not you've become family to me. I love you Ben, so much. And when you act like this – all cold and distant – it makes me sad and it kills me just as much as it kills you."