Falling For Alaska

Chapter One: The Modern Day Concentration Camp

To be honest, doing community service “to cleanse my soul,” as my father put it as, was near the top of the list I wouldn’t be caught dead doing. In fact, I would rather go to jail for a few months any day instead of doing two hundred hours of community service over the summer. Two hundred hours over SUMMER. Time I could be spending doing much better things (although these “things” would not be considered positive in my father’s eyes)

But hey, it was still better than interacting with losers to plant some stupid trees.

I grumbled in distaste and cursed my father under my breath.

This is so freaking stupid.

If it wasn’t for him, I would happily be in the local prison, bullying the inmates-- I would be a sort of underworld king. I was, actually, pretty well known-- just for the wrong reasons.

In fact, I was pretty much on a first name basis with the police. When a crime was committed, I was normally their first suspect- and almost, nine out of ten times, I did actually complete the crime.

But I was a pretty smart criminal-- and the police had never gotten enough evidence to arrest me. I was careless the last time, and the next thing you knew, the police (meaning Carter) was hot on my tracks.

And, that, my friends, is exactly why I was currently driving to some stupid park in the middle of nowhere to “connect with nature.” Yeah, that’s not going real well by me.

But of course, some earth loving, tree hugging hippies came to these little nature services on their free will and god-willing- voluntarily, but this was the last thing I expected to spend my Saturday. I was supposed to be partying and drinking with my friend and hooking up with some hot chicks.

But no- I now had to do nice things for two hundred hours. Me and nice things? I was the polar opposite of nice. And I  almost even wish that my father took my precious Porsche or my phone. But he and I quote, “wanted to teach me a ‘real’ lesson.”

Yeah, dad, but there’s a difference between learning a lesson and plain wasting time. And in case you can't tell the difference, Dad, this is classified under 'wasting time.'

I finally reached the park, and I quickly found a parking spot closest to the exit. I slammed the door shut roughly and walked to where the do-gooders were, along with my worst enemy, giving the helpers a huge speech about “doing good for the environment” because “we are the future.”

And yes, it was none other than my nemesis- Officer Carter, a very obese man in his mid-thirties, who just happened to be the one who caught me in the act of stealing, and hence why I am stuck here today.  Officer Carter was always the one to suspect me for crimes, and I could swear that his life goal (besides to consume his own weight in donuts and hotdogs) was to throw me to jail.

But my entrance, however, did not go unnoticed and Officer Carter, mid-speech, raised his eyebrows questioningly in my direction, and scowled, “You’re late, Forrest.”

I shrugged and ignored the odd looks the nerds gave me. I was practically the only one here not a “let’s plant a tree” environmentalist and I could feel hostile glares directed towards my direction, almost like I was a danger to their nice little program. 

“If this happens again, Forrest…” Carter threatened, with a condescending glare.

I wanted nothing more than to spit back a smart, wry remark, but then I remembered my father's stupid words. So I just gritted my teeth and managed a tight nod.

Officer Carter gave one last glance before continuing his stupid speech, “Today, we all have a common goal…” and that’s when I tuned him out and began reminiscing about a nice blond (whom I now forget the name of) I had encountered and shagged at a party last night.