It's Complicated: A Zombie Romance Novel

College Dorms and Boobs

Brian's roommate Michael was more of a cliche than I'd been expecting. Like something between the nerds from a popular TV sitcom and every fanboy depicted in comic books written by fanboys. I scanned briefly over his collection of movies. They overflowed from the shelf on his side of the room. 'Large Robot Anime' the entire series, 'Large Robot Anime Platinum Collection' in the original casing, 'Robot Anime 50th Anniversary Edition,' an 'All-Girl Band of Superheroes Save the World before Lunchtime' anime. I got the picture. I remembered Brian telling me once that there was an anime that could make his roommate go blind and deaf to everything around him, unable to turn away from the show until it was off.

Personally I never wanted to be that addicted to anything. Having something out there that had the power to turn you off and on at the switch of a button did not sound like a lot of fun. Brian hadn't been over exaggerating this guy's love of anime. So maybe he hadn't over exaggerated about the addiction either. I repressed a shutter.

"So, what brings you to my humble abode?" he asked, waving his hands out to encompass all of the room.

This was my brother's room too, not just his roommate's. I had a brief thought that maybe I could live here, at least until Brian came back. I looked at the neatly made bed and clean desk. The same identical shelf on my brother's side of the room held all on Brian's textbooks in alphabetical order along with the corresponding notebook for each class. Then my attention turned to Michael's side. Heaps of bedding masked piles of unidentifiable leftover food substances from which computer parts sprung. It was like there was an invisible line marking each guy's side from the other.

Yeah, I could totally hang out here for hours, but then there was Michael: a mechanical engineer sitting in an ergonomically correct chair that was probably worth more than all my bedroom furniture combined surrounded by well, you name it. If I stuck around I couldn't imagine him keeping to his half of the room.

I had to remember that. Then there was the way he talked to my boobs.

"Hurry up girly. I haven't got all millennia," he said straight at my chest, bypassing my entire face.

My boobs were big, I knew that. I didn't need him to remind me of that fact. That's what happens when you are fat. Your boobs become big. His chest had the same problem, so I didn't know why he kept staring at mine.

"Is my brother around?" I asked. He gave me a cynical look. Correction, he gave my chest a cynical look. Well fine.

"Have you seen him?" I tried again. Still no answer, but his eyes hadn't diverted back to his computer yet.

"Mind if I stick around until he does?" I knew I probably wouldn't get an answer, but I was trying to communicate, even if it wasn't working.

"Fine by me," he said with a lopsided grin. Was that drool coming out of his mouth? Gross! Yes, that was totally drool. I suppressed a gag reflex. There had to be something I could do while I waited for Brian.

I remembered the piece of flesh I'd borrowed from my best friend. I dug it out of my backpack, laid down on the bed, and started to examine it.

It wasn't the mouth piece I'd seen her in. It looked more like something that went over her forehead. A nice long red gash made from latex. At least I thought it was latex. It's not like I knew anything about these things. It was a really well made piece of makeup for a single party. I turned it over to the other side. Something flashed silver. I turned it back again. An array of fine silver lines ran through the molded plastic. It looked like a large computer chip. I looked over at Michael. He was working on something in his pile of computer and other parts.

That is when I got an idea. A really horrible idea. Brian had talked about how good a computer engineer Michael was. Maybe Michael could shed some light as to what was in the makeup. I knew it would come at a price, but I was hoping I could pay it.

"Hey, Michael, right?" I said. I tried channeling Lee Ann's dumb blond act. Doesn't work as well for me since I'm a brunette, but you never know. "I found this weird tech like thing. Would it be possible for you to look at it for me?"

"Brian used to say you were the best." I was rambling now. Mostly to butter him up, but also because I was way out of my league here. With the makeup-turned-computer chip, not with the 'weird nerd' vibe. I got that from guys like him all the time. There were a few of them in my school. Guys that thought because I was over weight I'd give it up for a few lusty stares. I'd kneed one once when he'd insinuated something similar out loud in class. That had been the last time any guy had come close to me. Or even looked at me like Michael was looking at me now. I couldn't knee him, though, if I was going to get the information I needed.

"Here." I just handed it to him. Our fingers touched. His were greasy. They left a yellow colored food stain on mine where they'd brushed. I pulled back in disgust, instinctively wiping the contaminated hand on my pants.

Michael's attention still hadn't shifted off my chest. It wasn't like the shirt I was wearing had cool designs or words to read. It was just a plain black tee. So why was he still staring even now as he held the piece of skin in his hand? Look at my eyes, jerk.

"What do you want me to do with this?" he asked.

'Ok, if you won't look at my eyes, at least shift your focus to my face,' I thought at him. "Anything you could tell me about it would be helpful," I said out loud.

Finally he shifted his attention from me to the piece of fake rotting flesh I'd brought as show and tell with its microchip-looking piece in the skin-touching side.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl. It was like I'd gone from being the only interesting thing in the room to being non-existent. This guy really had a one track mind.

"Wow," I finally heard him exclaim.

"What?" I asked. I stood up from my makeshift seat on Brian's perfectly made bed. Michael was still staring at the chip. At one point he'd pulled out a jewelry lens. The kind that people use to look at diamonds, only he was using it to look at inside of the fake flesh.

"This is way above my pay grade," he said. I took this as a bad sign and sat back down dejected. The bed screeched under my weight. College beds were cheap things anyway.

For the first time in over an hour he looked up at me. "I'm going to need a while with this thing," he said. He pointed to the piece of flesh.

"Sure," I said. I didn't even hesitate. I really didn't like having it in the first place, so I wasn't reluctant to let it go now. I really didn't want to give it back to Lee Ann. Part of me wondered if it had anything to do with her memory loss regarding Brian. Just another good reason not to return it to her any time soon.

When I didn't keep talking Michael said, "When I have anything I'll call," and went back to looking at the chip.

He didn't even look at my boobs once since I'd handed it to him. This thing must have been big.

I took that as my cue to leave, which I was more than happy to do. It was a thirty minute bus ride home if I was able to hit them right, and I didn't want to be late for dinner at Lee Ann's house. I hadn't had money for any food at school, so I was starved. Brian's side of the room didn't have any food either, and I wasn't about to put anything Michael offered me into my mouth. Who knows were it had been. My stomach matched my concerns. I would just have to trust Michael to figure it all out.

I should have been more careful as I fled my brother's dorm room. Being the klutz that I was I ran full body into someone as I left. Our bodies tumbled end over end down the dorm room front steps.

Luck was on my side this time. My head landed chin first in her backside as opposed to the concrete steps, giving me a great view of her bite mark tattoo.

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The pics I post are not mine, all rights reserved to the original address. Hey everyone! What did you think about this chapter? Do you like Michael or does he give you the creeps? 

I'm having a naming contest. What do you all think Bite My Butt's real name should be. Mae will be meeting her in the near future so I need the name soon.  Please comment and vote for your favorite name!