The Devil In I

2. The World Is Falling Down Around Me

8:00pm.
A week later.
Summer's Last Stand
First show.

I remember sitting side stage at the Get Scared concert at Warped Tour with Ryan, Kuza, and Chris.

It was very similar to sitting side stage watching Slipknot with my band, given that the guitarist didn't want to beat my face in, though.

I had my fingers intertwined with Ryan's, Chris had his arm over Devin's shoulder, Balz and Vinny were talking about the Lamb of God performance.

As I heard the intro for "The Devil In I," knowing it was the last song, I looked at Ryan.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Nervous." He said.

Nervous.

Funny how a single word can remind you of the first time you kissed your boyfriend, huh?

Josh walked over, smiling. "Everyone get good sleep last night? Don't want you to be tired through the performance."

"I slept well. Could've been better, though, Vinny wouldn't turn down his music." Chris said.

"I couldn't hear it over the loud dumbasses fucking in Ryan's bunk," Vinny looked at us.

"Damn," Balz muttered.

"Ruthless," Devin laughed.

"Hey, you and Chris weren't any quieter," I said.

"I fuck when I'm stressed," Chris shrugged.

"..." Josh looked back and forth. "Anyways!"

Before I knew it, Corey Taylor was walking off stage, the rest of Slipknot following in tow.

"Have a good show, guys," He said.

I looked at Chris, who looked at me, then I looked at Ryan.

"Well?" Josh said. "Get yer' asses out there."

8:10pm.

We finish three songs when I see a familiar face, front row.

The bastard with brunette hair and a stupid smirk on his face.

TJ Bell.

11:00pm.

Ryan's POV

"Ricky." I said again, knocking on the bathroom door for probably the hundredth time in the past hour. "Whatever happened on stage, whatever you saw, it's gone now, okay?" I said. "What happened?"

And yet, I still got no reply.
He locked the door and there was no key.
So I looked the door up and down, and did the only thing I thought was able to be done.

11:05pm.

Ricky's POV

I can't get any fucking peace.
And Ryan is fucking crazy, too. Kicking a door in because it's locked?

Ever heard of paper clips, dumbass? I thought to myself.

But, yet, I'm still sitting in the empty bathtub, not doing a single thing to keep him out. But still hiding the blade.

"Ricky, what happened?" He asked.

I sat there. Arms folded, knees up to my chest, looking forward.

"Ricky." He kept talking. "Ricky." "Ricky!"

"What?!" I shouted.

"What happened?" He asked, raising his voice as well.

"..." I sighed. "TJ was there."

He didn't reply.
I suddenly felt an odd feeling in my sides and remembered the blade I was hiding and how I didn't bandage up my sides and I probably had visible blood on my shirt.

"Ricky."

"I know."

"Five years?"

"I know."

"You don't know."

"I think I do know. I was the one who did it."

"No, you don't know what it means to me."

"Ryan, I -- "

"No, Ricky, stop." He kneeled down next to me. "I care about you okay?"

"I don't care." I said. It didn't come out like I meant it to, but I didn't put much effort into correcting myself.

Ryan sighed. "Okay."

"Ryan..."

He stood up and walked out. "Goodnight, Ricky."