The Devil In I

4. Goodbye

{ republished because I totally fucking forgot Escape The Fate wasn't in the story anymore and I included them in this chapter last time }

Trigger Warning: Attempted Suicide

9:00pm.
The next day
Ohio
Chris's POV

All in the bus was quiet. Josh decided to go out and do something, and Balz, Vinny, Devin, and I were sitting in the main room of the bus in complete and utter silence. Ricky disappeared once we got back, Ryan was outside.

"Balz," I said.

"I really don't want to talk about it." He said.

"You need to, buddy. I know it hurts but if you bottle it up it'll only get worse." I said.

"He's right. One day you'll just snap," Devin said.

"We're your best friends, Balz. If you need to yell at someone, you can. You won't offend us." Vinny said.

"..." Balz was silent for a moment. "I fucking hate this."

I looked at Devin.

"I fucking hate it. I was going to be a dad. I was so excited," Balz said. "But now I'm not."

"It wasn't your fault, Balz." Vinny said.

"Maybe," He said. "Maybe if I'd never joined this band I wouldn't be on tour right now and I could've been with Ryan and things would've been different. I'd be a father."

Vinny looked at me.

"Balz, what do you mean?" I asked.

"Sometimes being in a band is a real hassle," He admitted.

"We all know that. Remember the beginning?" I said. "When we were sick as hell playing shows for crowds of 40 just to get money to eat?"

"It may not have been as bad as it is now," Devin said. "But I promise you, Balz, things will get better. Okay? Maybe you and Ryan can try again."

"I guess you're right." Balz muttered.

"Shit," I heard from the back of the bus.

Ricky.

"Rick, you okay?" I called, standing.

"Y- Uh," His voice was shaky. "Yup." He called back.

"Go check on him." Devin insisted.

9:07pm.
Ricky's POV

"Fuck," I muttered. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

I was laying on the floor of the bathroom, immediately regretting what I'd done.
I had cuts on my arms deeper than I'd like to admit and I was trying to bandage them but my hands were shaking and my vision was blurring and I was having a panic attack and I couldn't breathe.

"Ricky." Chris knocked on the door.

"Go away," I replied.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I said go away," I said.

"Answer me." He said.

But I didn't, I kept trying and trying to bandage my arms but I was getting light headed and every memory seems fuzzy.

He opened the door.
Fuck, I should've locked it.

But before I could even kick the door closed again he stepped in and was about to say something but I blacked out.