"Certainly, sir! Would that be the Welsh Cake, English Scone, Scottish Scone, Lardy John, Dough Cake, Fourses Cake, Bath Bun, Currant Bun, Hot-Cross Bun, Colston Bun, Newport Lovely, Heeva Cake, Singing Hinny, Bannock Cake, Griddle Cake, Fatty Cuttie, Fat Rascal, Turf Cake, Rock Cake, Lardy Cake, or Fruit Pikelets?"
"That one."
"A House Fruit Bun. Yes of course and all the richer for jam and cream. And with our local, organic, traditional, fruity bake would you like any other cake?"
"No thank you. Just a cup of tea if you will, no milk."
"English Breakfast, Assam, Pekoe, Rose Hip, Camomile, Cylon, Lapsang Souchong, Earl Grey, Lady Grey, Darjeeling, Matcha, Sencha, Jasmine, Hibiscus, Yerba, Lemongrass, Green Tea, Rooibos, Peppermint, Peach, Oolong, Mango, Chun Mee, Honey, White, Yellow, Vanilla, Russian Caravan, Keemun, Masala Chai, Longjing, or just in, Meghalya Lakyrsiew?"
"Come again?"
"English Breakfast, Assam"
"Never mind, I'll have whatever they are having."
"Excellent choice, sir. And seeing as how it takes so long can I take you dinner order, a pasta dish perhaps?"
"No—no, thank you, I've had enough of lists. I'm going to go out for takeaway cod and chips."
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