Recollection / Commentary - Clothing, Guys, and the "Abercrombie Model Syndrome"

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I frankly don't care about designer brands.

There, I said it. 

I don't care that you just dropped a stupid amount of money on some trendy designer clothing, and quite frankly, what a freaking waste of cash.

I see way too many kids this generation, flocking to these ridiculous "trendy" stores, these "hip" or, "gucci" or whatever the hell you all call it these days. 


To quote Will Rogers,


"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like."


Of course, many people say that they want to wear clothes to impress people they like. They want to feel "Accepted" or, "in".

For what? So you can be the most popular kid in school? Look good? Climb up some stupid social ladder construct because you want to be a cool kid?

So you pick up some lame ass job, probably fake a couple hours here and there, drag your parents along, blow your first checks because you need to have THAT shirt, or THAT jacket, or THOSE jeans.

You can make as many friends as you want, go freaking ahead.

But when time comes that someone has to test the mettle of a character, when you're making that cut for college, academics, job. Guess what? You got one person that's gonna be supporting you, and that's yourself. 

Stop buying clothes to impress others. Stop applying yourself to some sort of construct of what is "ideal". 

The more time you waste trying to be someone else, the less you lose yourself. People don't care about how close you imitate someone, people want the genuine you, and the unique you.

Surprise, you will never imitate down to the wire, because deep down, you are not what you are imitating, you are just, an imitation. 

Stop with that construct, be yourself, and buy what you NEED, not what you want.  It's seriously a waste of cash.


But where am I coming from? Everything I buy, has some purpose. I'm a pragmatic person. I walk into some trendy store, and they got these really high up marked jeans. They give some ridiculous price for you to blow your money on, and it's so I can look good.

Jeans were not meant to "look good". Jeans are working class pants and equipment, not a fashion statement. I want something that is reasonable, evident it's good quality, and will go the distance for what I do. Not to project some image. And if you're wondering what my opinion is on "pre ripped" jeans.

Whoever thought it was a good idea, you are a complete idiot. Ripped jeans loo - no, are, completely trashy. 


On the topic of trying to "look good", there's been this huge trend of fitness, and "looking good", especially with guys, and all this projection of the "guy image".

There's also been a big increase an a lot of my friends and male classmates who, after hearing of my (in)famous exploits of what they hear are "hardcore" workouts, want to workout with me and start asking like, "hey I want to have that body" or, "I wanna get cut", or, "I wanna look good". 

I like to call this the "Abercrombie Model Syndrome" (AMS). 

AMS is this whole concept of guys because of whatever pressure or whatnot from media, and this that and the other, want to reach this sort of ideal that a lot of girls gawk at from all these trendy store bags and fliers (like Abercrombie). 

Most of the time it's reaching that often projected fantasy of that ripped six pack abs, that sort of oval jaw cut, this shredded look, while having extremely defined arms and body profile. Well oiled abs, beach body lifeguard 24/7, Spechul Fawuses Navy Spheal Beach blonde hollywood action movie star. 

A lot of guys tense up and say, "Oh man, I want to get these cute girls, I gotta look good, I gotta do all this that and the other. I have to workout hardcore, find all these fad easy diets, and hit the gym and do all these crazy workouts I find on google."

So they do them. Do all these stupid excercises, these "muscle target" workouts. These ridiculous  "7 minute hardcore workouts".

And quite honestly, I laugh at them. 

Here's the deal guys, (and for the curious girl). 

There's two types of workouts and muscle definition that I refer to. Cosmetic, and functional. Plain and simple.

Cosmetic makes you look good. Yeah, it'll get you that six pack ab you want, that sort of toning that is apparently oh so appealing and fantasized that supposedly drive girls insane.

But you know what? Does absolutely NOTHING in terms of practicality. Okay, yeah, sure, you're gonna get a little fit, and you might lose a bit of weight, but the thing is, you're working your muscles in a fashion to be shaped like that. It's like wet clay. You can mold it however you fancy it, still wet clay. 

Then you have functional muscles, and functional excercises. Exercise well, stop putting crap food. You are what you eat. Eat your greens, none of this crazy ass protein tubs. Eat healthy. Put good in, get good out. I learned this real fast, and I'm proud to say (as I'm writing this), I have not had a soda in roughly three years now. I completely quit on it. Functional muscles develop you to be tougher, stronger, and get the body you NEED, not the body you WANT. Be functionally tough. The "good look", is merely a side effect, and will come naturally. 

Don't be a paper tiger, folded flimsily and delicately with technique. Shape up, have substance, not some face value. 


Quite honest with you, I once fell into that hole myself. I seriously did hate at times before that "man, I can't get cut, or look good," I had that preconceived notion of this "looking good" and this ideal that pervaded so many "average joes" like me. 

I got angry and frustrated sometimes early on before I got smart and understood really the science behind fitness, deconstructing the "why" of some of the world's top fit people on the planet.

Not the models, not the people who looked good, but men like the hardcore Door kicking Special Forces dudes (who by the way, were my "superheroes". Yeah, I was that kid who instead of hanging posters of scantily clad bikini women and cars or some movie posters or some workout roid-raged induced body builder, had posters from recruiting offices and online of those real hardcore "hitters". The guys who went bump in the night with super slick military gear, and actually made a difference in the world.) 

I learned, continually adapted, developed workout plans and designed fitness around my body type, understood the dynamics of being "physically fit" and "physically prepared", and slowly forgot all these notions. 


Of course, everyone wonders what I am now. I'll be honest with you. Yeah, I don't have a six pack, or a four pack. I don't have the super shredded look, or that "perfect" face or hair. But I can be proud to say, and grin that I'm confident about myself, from the hell I've put on my body, to consistently prepare not for the model walk down the street, 

but to prepare myself in combat in the dark alleys, long streets, and rooms where I'm going to be a real hitter like my "superheroes". 

I know that I've worked and pushed my body. I know what I'm capable of, and where I can stand, fight, and how I've shaped my body to be physically prepared for the demands when life really matters, not to be some stupid poster boy. 


And for those curious. I've set foot in a few "trendy stores". I've never walked out with any clothing from them (to the chagrin of my friends and former girlfriends). The clothes I buy are generally manufactured here in the Good Ol' USA, charities, tested and proven for the stress I'll put them through if they're working clothes, or just plain awesome that I think is cool and I wear because it's me. They're places you may never hear about, and that's fine by me. They have awesome quality, awesome designs I love, and it works for me. 



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