(1) Mused Thoughts - What I Come back to.

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author's note:

This is a three-part series of a big recollection and defining moment of my life. It really has defined who I am as an individual, tested myself, and developed myself as I've learned a whole lot. (1) and (2) are bits and pieces of what happened, my reflections, while (3) is where I summarize and write everything out as I've detailed.

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Go Army shirt. Bald head. 

A hero, friend. A leader of  moral courage, pride, of the next generation. Intestinal uncompromising integrity. 

A villain. An unnecessary evil. Warmonger, pawn. Hungry for death. Savage, vicious. 


Old friends. Fresh perspective. Hugs, laughs. Good times, good food. Family friends shake hands with me. A mutual respect. 

Old friends. New beliefs. Jeers, scorn, bitter words. Damnation, disgust. A shake of hands turns to a slap of the wrist.  


Blond hair. Green eyes. Short skirt, cute laugh. Old kisses, old hugs. Different lives, crossed roads crossing, before a parting journey. 

Messy streaks. Teary eyed. Old t-shirts. Sharp tongue. Angry words, lost in translation. Another life, colliding again. 


Old friend. Childhood buddies. Third grade soccer stars. High school drama, high school kids. Nearly brothers. Shared secrets, pure honesty. Someone I cared.

New times. High school classmate. Dirt poor college student living off of parent's silver spoon. College drama, separate paths. Old bonds torn in an instant. back stab, intricate web of lies. He is no brother of mine. 


A big brother. A guiding light. Moral compass. A toast to our girlfriends, and a celebration of a new time, and a break from this new world of college.

A failed role model. A disconnected strobe. A broken guide. Angry words, spilled coffee on the table. A fight of words. Cheating. Lying, affairs. A shattering glass ceiling of the world and the people I believed in.


What I wanted to come home to.

What I came home to.

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