Blind side (Tronnor AU)

5. Sad

It was two a.m. when Connor called him.

Troye was crouched in front of his computer, fumbling with the musical keys, which were sitting precariously on his lap. He was so startled to see contact name of 'Connor fuckboy' on his screen that he accidentally declined the call and, after some hesitation, had to call back.

"Troye?" He was greeted with a faint whisper.

"Yeah, it's me. Is everything alright?" Troye asked, as he heard a muffled sigh. Cursing silently, he put away the keys and walked up to the window.

"I hate that I'm calling you," Connor confessed.

Troye scoffed, "I'm not crazy about it either. Now tell me what's wrong," he demanded.

Connor sighed, "You know that feeling when nothing seems right anymore?"

"Last time I had that kind of thoughts, I came out," Troye chuckled.

"Okay, but I'm already out."

They were silent for a minute, before it occurred to Troye that Connor didn't intend on going on. He inquired, "So what is wrong exactly? Is this about Tilly?"

Once again, silence fell upon them, only to be broken by Connor this time, "No, I guess. Not entirely." After a pause, he added suddenly, "You are the most selfish person I know."

"Gee, you sure know how to make a guy swoon."

He heard Connor laugh quite on the other side of the phone and say, "Actually, that's I'm calling you. That, and because I know that you don't sleep at night. May I ask you something?"

Troye nodded.

"Troye? Are you there?" Connor's voice was slightly worried.

"Yeah, I'm here."

He heard a hint of smile in Connor's voice, "Did you just nod over the phone?"

"Keep up the sass, and I will hang up. Now ask what you want."

When Connor finally answered, it was definitely not something Troye had expected, "How do you hurt people you love?"

Troye's eyes widened. He hesitated before responding, "You just don't. That's kinda the point of love."

"But if it doesn't make you happy, what do you do?"

Troye immediately thought about numerous night he spent over at Tyler's place.

When they both were drunk and just crashed on the couch, tangled limbs and sleepy eyes. When one of them - or both - leaned in for a kiss, and the other responded, and everything gradually turned into a heavy make out session in the living room.

He thought about how good it felt and how wrong it was, and he thought about that sense of longing he had when Tyler gently pushed him away, and he thought about the times when it was him who stopped the kisses because it just didn't feel right.

They never took this one step that brings friends to lovers, and although Troye knew that at some point it pained them both, in the long run their friendship was much more valuable than a drunk hookup. He also knew that Tyler understood that and silently agreed.

"Connor, can I ask you a question?" the other boy sounded confused, but answered positively nonetheless, so Troye went on, "When you love someone, do you want to see them happy?"

"Yes," his response was instantaneous and unconditional.

"So if this person you are afraid to hurt..."

"People," Connor corrected.

"So if these people really love you, then they would understand that you do what you do for your own happiness. And you're entitled to it as much as they are. If they don't understand that, they are not worth the trouble. Just do what makes you happy."

It took him a while to process what Troye had said, "That actually even made some sense." Connor sounded surprised.

Troye laughed at that, "See? I'm not as stupid as you think."

"I don't think you are stupid."

"Sure thing. You just think I'm a narcissistic asshole."

For a second, Troye thought that Connor would argue with that, but he didn't. Oddly enough, Troye didn't feel offended.

Connor suddenly asked, "Remember that day at the movies?" He continued when Troye indicated that he did, "Why were you alone there? I mean, you could have brought someone with you."

Troye pressed his face against the cold surface of window, his voice echoing weirdly from the glass, "I knew that if I had asked Tyler, he would have already had plans with you anyway, and I didn't invite anyone else because I don't have as many friends as you do."

Connor sounded amused for a change, "We both know that it is not exactly true, now don't we?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Troye perked up.

"You seem to have a lot of... male companions," when Troye didn't reply, Connor went on, "You could invite that checkout clerk from the grocery store, for instance."

So Connor had seen that interaction. Troye flinched, "I never went out with him. Ever." He cringed at how defensive it sounded.

"He's cute, and seems very nice."

Troye smirked, "I don't go for nice."

"So I've heard."

Troye briefly wondered what Connor had heard exactly but he decided to respond in another way, "Since you insist so much, I'll give him a call."

"I insist? Wh-?" Connor sounded flustered, "I did say no such thing."

"Sure-sure, Connie," Troye teased.

"No one ever called me that."

"Sorry."

Connor laughed, "No, no, I don't mind at all. It's cute."

"Well, it fits you then," the response came naturally to him, almost automatic from all the years of meaningless flirting. Troye's hand flew over his mouth with a smack when he realized what he had said.

"Will you stop it already?" to Troye's surprise, Connor didn't sound pissed, but entertained.

"Stop what?" Troye feigned innocence, although he knew perfectly well what Connor meant.

"Hitting up on me. I'm not your average checkout boy, I'm trying to be your friend here."

Again, Troye preferred to steer the conversation away from serious topics into the areas he was most familiar with, "Friend? Okay. You know what a good friend would do? Hook me up with someone from the swim team. What about this Ricky guy? What's the scoop about him?" Troye made a point of sounding as obnoxious as possible.

"And this is my cue to go. Good night, Troye."

Troye burst out in giggles, "Night, Connie."

As he hung up, his cheeks were flaming, but he was still smiling impossibly wide when he updated contact info in his phone. Troye was glad that he could help the sad boy to feel a tiny bit better about himself.

The following morning, when he woke up, he had a new text.

From: Connie

Thanks for the talk, Troye boy:)

Troye decided against replying anything. 

Next chapter - "Cute"