Touch - Phan

Chapter 13

Phil's POV

The morning after Dan wrote I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U on the braille board, I woke up without him in bed. I felt around every corner when I woke up, but he wasn't there. I became nervous. I asked aloud for him.

"Dan?" I said.

It felt like a dream - like everything that happened didn't actually happen. That's what it feels like to not be able to see: you don't know what's real or not.

But it was real.

I knew he'd come back. I tried not to freak out. I cradled my legs into my chest, unable to go anywhere alone. My heart beat fast all over my body. My hands shook slightly. I didn't want to start shaking.

I heard footsteps near the door, and two warm hands touched my shoulders.

"Phil," he said softly. "I'm right here. Are you okay?"

"Where did you go?"

Dan kissed my cheek. "I was making you breakfast. I didn't know you were awake."

I put my hands over his. He wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry I left you," he said.

"No, it's okay. Thank you."

"Were you shaking?"

"No."

He kissed my cheek again, and led me out of the room, where it smelled lovely in the kitchen. I recognized the scent immediately.

"Pancakes?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know." He sat me in a chair. "I wanted to."

I felt in front of me and touched the table. He placed a plate with the warm smell of pancakes wafting up, and I smiled. "Why do you do nice things like this? It's so cute."

"Stop," he said playfully. "I do it because I love you."

I wasn't truly used to hearing 'I love you,' but it gave me a sense that he really did care so much. He placed a kiss on my lips and handed me a fork.

"Do you want me to help you?"

"No," I said, not too sure if I was completely able to work around eating without sight, but I've been managing in the past few weeks, so I could do it.

As I tempted to eat, I could hear the small clattering sound of silverware across from me. Dan was eating too. "Phil," he said, sadness in his voice. "Do you feel okay?"

I was always a lot more down than I was before, but I didn't want Dan to see that. I was far too grateful to him. "Yeah, I'm fine."

I heard something move around, and Dan appeared to be sitting next to me in his chair now. He laced fingers with me. "Do you ever want to talk about it?"

I gripped his hand. "I don't know what to say."

"Are you... upset? Isn't it hard?"

"Yes."

"I'm here for you, Phil. I love you. I want you to be happy. Please talk to me if you want to."

I squeezed my eyes shut. Dan draped his arms over me and gently pulled my head close to his chest.

"It'll be okay."

I smiled. I knew it would.

"I just want you to be happy."

"I'm the happiest I've ever been."

Dan kissed my head. It felt so good.

Dan's POV

I loved being so close to Phil. I wanted him to be able to live normally despite his lack of vision. It didn't matter. Nothing did. As long as Phil was happy and safe, it would all be okay.

Later, PJ called him again. I picked up the phone and handed it to him. I didn't listen to them talk, but just waited patiently and respectfully for Phil to finish. He called me over and gave me the phone, telling me PJ wanted to talk.

"Hello?"

"Dan! Hi! It's been so long since we've talked!"

"Yeah. How are you?"

"I'm great. So happy about you and Phil!" he said.

"So he told you about us?"

"Yeah. I think it's nice. You guys make a great pair, and frankly, I think your fans will be happy too, if you want to tell them."

I forgot.

"If you don't want to tell people, I can keep quiet, if you'd like."

"Phil and I haven't exactly talked about that yet. We just got together yesterday anyway," I explained.

"Well, anyway, that's not important. I'm going to be near you guys soon. I was hoping I could drop in for a visit and maybe a collab?"

"Yeah, that'd be great!"

"Cool. Is this Saturday okay?"

"Sure. We'll be waiting."

"Great! Good luck guys! See you soon!"

"Bye, Peej!"

We hung up, and Phil's anxious fingers gripped around my arm. "So he's going to visit?" he asked.

"Yeah, Saturday. He suggested a collab too."

"Oh, true. We haven't really uploaded recently, have we?"

"Oops."

Phil giggled.

"So, Phil, I was wondering if we are going to tell them or not?"

"The fans?"

"Yeah. I just don't know."

"Are you comfortable with telling them?"

"I mean, I guess so. But I don't know what they might say."

He leaned on my chest. "I don't think the reaction will be all that negative. Look up 'Phan,' and you're going to find about a million people screaming and crying just because we looked at each other the right way. I think it'll be okay. If you just don't want to, that's different."

"Maybe we'll just hold off for a little while. Just to let it settle in."

"Good idea." Phil reached up until finding my face and kissing it.