A melody we've come up with (Frerard)

Chapter 15: Cemetery Confession

I decided to take Frank to the cemetery by my house, because I didnt want anyone to see me with a gigantic bruise on my cheek bone and the cementery was also a place I really love going to when I was a mess. 

We walked towards this old mausoleum and Frank sat down on the steps, I stayed standing up. I didnt really feel like sitting down right now, plus if I sat down it would take me ages to be able to stand up again. 

"So what was it that you wanted to tell me?" I asked. Frank looked up me then immediatly looked back down.

"I-I'll tell you later on....." he mumbled

"Frank? Whats going on?" I asked. Frank didnt say anything. He just stayed quite, playing with his fingers. I slowly sat down next to him. My body still aching but I didnt care. Something was bothering Frank and I had to know what it was. 

"Frank you know you can tell me anything. I wont judge you or even think anything bad about you." I whispered

"Gee.....you know how last night you asked if I had ever wanted something so bad yet I couldnt have it because of one little thing stopping you.....well thats whats happening now..." he mumbled. At looked at him confused. 

"Frank............"

Frank looked up at me and cupped my face with his hands and kissed me. I was of course startled at first, but then wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me. Gerard pull away now. I know you want this but in the end you're gonna hurt Frank. You know that, even if you both love each other. You wont last a long time. I knew my subconscious was right. I quickly pulled away and stood up. Frank looked up at me hurt.

"D-Did I do something wrong?" he whispered

"No.....no you didnt....I just.....we cant do this Frank....." I mumbled

"Why? Is it because you dont like me?"

"No....I really like you Frank..."

"Then why Gee? Please tell me why this couldnt work" he pleaded. I looked away from him. I couldnt just blurt out why we couldnt, but I couldnt also just leave him like this. I looked up at him. His eye begging me to tell him why.

"B-because...." I started to explain. Frank stood up and walked towards me. 

"Gee......is it because you think that this is wrong?"

"No! Of course not. Believe me I want this as much as you do but we just cant Frank. I wish I could tell you why but I cant" I said

"Then why Gee?" Frank pleaded. I couldnt take it anymore. I slowly felt myself loosing myself. I knew I had to tell him.

"Because I have cancer Frankie! Because Im going to fucken die in about five months! I exclaimed.

Frank looked up at me with shock. Gerard get out of here now. You can walk home, you dont have to drive. Just get out of here now. And for the first time this whole year I actually listened to my subconscious and walked away. I heard Frank calling after me but I just kept walking. I didnt stop to look back at Frank. I didnt stop to rethink what I was doing. 

I walked to my house but decided to keep on walking. Frank would know Im there and would try to talk to me. I walked for a long time, I walked until I couldnt see my house anymore or even any other houses that looked familiar. I eventually walked up to an old rusty park that looked like no one had been around here for a while. I walked up to and old looking tree and sat underneath it. 

Gerard what did you get yourself into now? You shouldve just gotten together with Frank and then when the time came you shouldve just explained everything. But no, you're to much of an over thinker and caring person to notice that in the end Frank still got hurt. you just rejected him so either way he still doesnt have you. You shouldve never talked to him. You shouldve never met him. Gerard cant you see that you're just hurting everyone. You should just give up now. You're just fucking things up even more. At least if you had dated Frank you would've died a happy man but now your death is going to be agonizing because you wont have anyone. You're alone Gerard. Once again you're alone.

I leaned against the tree. I felt some tears running down my cheeks. i was alone again. No one to go and sit with during lunch. No one to go and ditch with. I was once again alone. I guess I was just ment to be alone for the rest of my life. I was suppose to die alone. i was probably never even ment to meet Frank. I guess god still thinks that i should still get the things I love most taken away from me.

My head suddenly started to hurt alot. Worst than any migrane I had ever had. I opened my eyes but everything suddenly got very blury. I tried to stand up but my whole body was numb and I couldnt move an inch. I started to get really dizzy. I tried to call out for help but I couldnt even gather up enough strength to move my lips. I felt like my whole world was going into this whirl pool where nothing made sense. I saw some type of dark figures running towards me but before I could see what they were I blacked out.