Fire & Ice

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Journal Entry:

Sometimes I doubt myself and wonder if I did something wrong. I didn't factor in how strong our connection already was and now we are connected in ways that are . . . well . . . painful. I don't know how to fix it, but we are both suffering and I hate knowing she hurts because of something I asked her to do.

Consequences: a word often used to describe the reaction or outcome of another action. It is rarely used in positive light, and it's definitely what Portia and I are currently tormented with—consequences.

***

I could feel Portia right now, curled on her bed in a ball with her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she tried to hold it all together. It only served to double my own pain, which mirrored hers exactly. Vaguely, I wondered if this was what drug addicts felt like when they were going through withdrawals. Aching, with such a sick feeling inside of me, I was quickly concluding I must have done something very wrong when we performed the binding ritual. Physically, it hurt to be away from one another.

Managing to hide our problem from everyone around us had taken some extreme effort and Academy Award winning acting on both our parts during the last week. Even though I was in pain, I felt worse knowing Portia was suffering. My primary focus became trying to relieve her from this burden I'd unintentionally brought upon her. The two of us did virtually everything possible to stay together. Each evening I'd "leave" her house for the night, only to crawl into her bedroom window a couple of hours later.

This was the situation I found myself in right now. The gap in time before I managed to arrive back by her side was so incredibly nauseating. I didn't know how much more we could take. There was an actual physical pull with the sensation; so strong, I could almost sense the very direction she was in at times.

Relief flooded my mind when I lifted the sash to climb into her room. Portia raised her head to look at me, the strain on her features obvious. Reaching the bed in two strides, I gathered her into my arms.

And just like that, the pain was gone—instantly—as if someone had flipped a switch. But as quickly as it departed, a new sensation replaced it. Portia had taken to aptly describing it as liquid fire, because our veins sizzled when we touched.

Giving in to the moment, I crushed my mouth to hers, kissing her hotly, which both soothed and aggravated the molten passionate sensations running through us. Desire for her poured from me, and I pulled her body tighter to mine, almost wishing there was some way I could permanently blend the two of us together. With great effort, I dragged away from the kiss.

"I'm sorry you're hurting so badly," I said, frowning as I traced my fingers lightly across her face. Her pulse rate increased even more and I sighed. No matter what I did, it drove her crazy, exactly like she was doing to me.

"You're hurting too," she reminded me, even though I didn't need it. She reached to smooth the worry lines in my brow with her finger. "I think we need some help. It's not getting better like you hoped it would."

"I know." Taking her hand in mine, I brought it to my mouth and kissed the finger she'd been stroking me with. "I'm thinking we should go talk to your grandma tomorrow. What do you think?"

"I think that's a good idea," she answered, holding my gaze as a look of relief flooded through her. "We definitely need some advice."

Sliding one of my hands over her hair, I smoothed her tangles in a gentle caress. I quickly leaned in to kiss her cheek before getting up and moving to the head of the bed, pulling the covers down and then patting her spot.