Trying to Breaking the Silence

Ice Age

APOV

"Bella! Oh my god!" Esme screamed as she launched herself out of her chair towards her daughter. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even move. I'd never seen anything like that before. I barely even heard the sound escape from her lips, and yet it caused her every movement to screech to a blinding halt. I caught the briefest glimpse of panic in her eyes as she froze. If I hadn't been looking right at her I would have missed it completely. It almost looked as if she were internally pleading for something.

God, how do I help her? Can she even hear anything when she's like that?

Carlisle quickly stepped over to her and lifted her frozen body from the chair. Esme carefully moved her limbs to a more comfortable position for her. She literally was frozen, not even limp, frozen. There was no other way to explain it. Carlisle smiled an apologetic smile in my direction before taking off up the stairs with her in his arms, cooing sweet words the whole way. Esme quickly came to my side, and I couldn't contain it any longer. I broke down. Sobs racked my body as the scene that had just unfolded in front of me replayed incessantly behind my eyes.

"E... Esme," I sobbed. "I've never se...seen anyt-thing like that before." My words coming out a jumbled stuttering mess. Esme rocked me in her arms and shushed in my ear, slowly calming my sobs. I took in a shuttering breath and looked at her.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked. Esme smoothed my hair from my face, and kissed my cheek.

"She'll be fine when she wakes up dear. I promise. It's happened before," she cooed still rocking me back and forth in her brace.

She rocked me back and forth for a few more minutes before Carlisle reappeared downstairs. He approached me and knelt down in front of me.

"She'll be fine Alice, she's in her bed. All we can do is wait for her to wake up."

I nodded to him and looked down to the floor. I was so caught up with everything that had just happened, and the million different things running through my head that I almost missed Carlisle speaking to me.

"Honey, you're more than welcome to stay, but we understand if you'd rather go home. I'm sure Bella will understand when she wakes up." I shook my head and looked at him.

"No. If it's okay I'd like to stay here with her. She's my friend and I need to know that she'll be okay."

He nodded and started picking up dishes from the table and bringing them into the kitchen. I immediately stood and began clearing my spot, but Esme put her hand on my arm to stop me.

"Sweetie, it's alright. We'll clean this up. Don't worry about it dear. You can either stay with Bella in her room or you are more than welcome to the guest room across the hall from her room if you'd like." I nodded and put my plates down on the table.

"If it's alright I'd like to stay with her," I said as I turned to her from the table.

"That's quite alright with me dear. I'm sure Bella will appreciate that when she wakes up as well."

She smiled briefly, but it wasn't the smile I've seen all day. It was a sad, worried smile, and it broke my heart. I smiled briefly in return and bid her goodnight and headed for the stairs.

I stood outside her door, bracing myself for what might come to pass tonight. I looked up to the ceiling before entering her room, pleading silently to whatever forces could be at work above to just give her a little bit of help. Just a little. If anyone deserved it, it was her. She's suffered for so long. I wish I knew what she was pleading for. Maybe she knew how to help her, but couldn't get it out.

Oh God, is she even aware when that happens to her? Can she feel it? Is she scared when she's stuck like that? I'd be terrified! And she's been alone in her struggles for so long. How in the world is she still functioning? How has she not given up? I can't even begin to understand how strong she must be to still be able to smile after everything she's been through...

I shook my head sadly as I pulled myself from my thoughts, and turned the handle on her door, silently entering. I quickly made my way to my bag of clothes and took out my pajamas. I took one quick glance at her bed. She was unmoving, but I could hear her breathing as I stood next to her.

I wish there was something I could do for her...

I shook my head again and made my way to the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. I sped through the routine, not bothering with the usual nighttime rituals. It suddenly didn't seem as important as I'd always made it out to be. For years, I've put silly things like facials, skin regimes, mani/pedis and such in some of my top priorities, and yet here's a girl in the room across the hall from where I stand, who's main priority in life is to stay conscious. To stay here, with her family, and remain unfrozen. A daily attempt to not get herself lost within her own shell.

It breaks my heart to know that last night, as she was struggling to find a way to feel normal, to find a way to communicate with her family, to just find some way to break through her unwanted armor, I was fighting with my sister over allotted bathroom schedules. I couldn't even find my way past myself to let my own sister in the bathroom while I did my nightly routine, and here she sat struggling for a way to not feel so alone. It made me so ill I almost physically wretched.

What kind of person am I? Have I always been this way?

I quickly made my way over to her bed, pulled the blanket and sheet back and climbed in. She looked so peaceful at that moment. I could only pray that she felt as peaceful as she appeared. I'd hate to know that she's screaming on the inside or something.

"Bella, it's Ali. I'm right here waiting for you. You aren't alone, I promise. I'll be here when you wake up."

I watched her for a while longer. Her face never showed signs of discomfort during the time that I watched her. Slowly my eyes began to droop and sleep overcame me.