Collection of Older Works

Faethfully Yours: Chapter Thirty-One {Part Two}

“No answer, Halfling? Are you fearful you made the wrong choice?” His Black Essence chuckled dryly, tauntingly.

“My choice?” I exploded, “You let it happen! You could have stopped Kala'el from killing Her Grace but you chose not to. I’m not surprised about you,” I snarled at the Blue Essence, “You would look the other way it was for the benefit of the Unseelie. But you,” I pointed an accusatory finger at his Black Essence, “You knew what Kala’el planned and you let it happen! How dare you ask me about choice, what about yours?” my voice wobbled under the strain of fury.

“Lower your hand, Halfling. This was all your doing.” The Black Essence laughed and sadly, he was right. Funny thing about pointing your finger at someone…four more point right back at you.

"You bastard--"

Ivan gripped my shoulders, keeping me from approaching The Essences any further. As it was, if I were to dare another step, I’d be right at the altar able to peek under their hoods.  It was a stupid move on my part; they could have just snapped off their hoods and blinded me forever. But I was already blinded, the black of rage was all I saw, guilt fogging my reason.

Setting me beside him, Ivan didn’t return my stare. His jaw clenching tightly, he simply let his hands fall away from me. I looked for traces of pain on his features, a reaction—anything at all. Save for the tear he spilled upon her Grace’s death, there had only been unperturbed plains and contours, nothing to validate any pain…and then he inhaled. The strain of every taken breath and slow release betrayed him. He was holding it together somehow, swallowing the rage for my sake. I wished he didn’t.  

The Blue Essence held up a hand. “Kala’el’s choice was to uphold the safety of Queen Alistrina.” His voice was a faint ballad, whisking all around me. The gentle vibrations knotted in my stomach violently. Sadly, as it always goes, when things are bad, that’s when all the depressing songs come on the radio. Well, His Blue Essences’ voice was a country love song on a rainy day after finding your boyfriend in bed with another woman…typical for an Unseelie to be deceiving.

“You actually believe him? He killed her Grace under some pretext and you’re buying it? You’re just as guilty—”

“We do not exist to make things happen nor keep them from happening, Hallfling. We are the order. Our purpose is to keep the balance in our world and nothing more. You were given a choice and you made it. What you saw in the illumino is the consequence of your choice—of the code you follow. The code of your ancestors,” he swept his hand, gesturing to all the blue robed Fae.

The horror of what his Blue Essence was saying cut deep, but he wasn’t finished. “My child, you have chosen Passion against honor, against duty. You have chosen the way of our people, the way of your father….The Unseelie way.”

That was a damn lie. “Screw you and your riddles. I am nothing like Xanthus and his people. I will never be Unseelie.”

“It’s too late,” Ivan’s voice came in low but I heard it, his tone calm as it was certain. Releasing a shuddering breath, he confessed, “You already are.”

I stared at him. I didn’t answer immediately. I just stared unable to say anything. Not because of what he said. But because something bitter sank within me. It wasn’t anger. Anger was warmer. What I felt was icy. What I felt was toxic and it ran slowly through me, piecing things in my brain together in a manner that made sense…but I didn’t want it to. It was cold truth.

I didn’t want them to be right as much as a secret part within me finally understood. When I lay down at the Temple, I had already been walking the fine line between Seelie and Unseelie.  Choosing Ivan over the Temple was where I slipped off the line, diving headfirst into the deep blue Unseelie oceans.