Collection of Older Works

Flashbacks of a Fool: Chapter Twenty

"Love is fire. But whether it's gonna warm your heart or burn your house down you can never tell." Jason Jordan

**

"...Ashes, ashes, we all fall down."

Laughing heartily, Annabelle straightened from her crouched stance for what she hoped would be the last time after having spent much of the afternoon falling and standing in child's play,

"And now I shall rest my bones for my fortitudes are not what they once were. But you two continue on without me." She adjusted her coat just as Logan huffed; protest ready on his tongue,

"But Annabelle," he started and though only having just met, his female counterpart Emma, too voiced her objection,"Ring around the Rosie is always much better when done in a proper circle."

Looking down at the round flushed faces staring back at her, Annabelle giggled, "Oh darlings, perhaps after some rest, I will join you once more. But run along now, surely you can conjure up trouble elsewhere." Carelessly shrugging, the children sped off to the open Hyde Park fields, running in what to a world-weary mind would seem like aimless circles though their contentment spoke of it having much purpose; the fostering of innocence. They were in need of nothing, aside from each other and life was grand.

Locating a vacant bench, Annabelle sat alone on the dank seat ignoring the dampness seeping through her skirt; little displeasure compared to the tribulations of the morning. Pity that the day, while cold, was so blessedly beautiful, she thought letting her head fall back. Not because of its splendor as that would have been a grave contradiction but rather at not having been able to enjoy every last ounce of its brilliance, instead spending those first hours of day on vicious encounters, painful revelations and crushed illusions. Quite the morning it had been indeed...

The trees hushed calmly as the frigid December air swept through, taking from the little comforts given by the serene landscape. Burrowing deeper into her coat, Annabelle sighed, accepting the futility of her action. While the cold indeed rendered its numbing effects, it in no way was the nature of her sorrows; shrinking deeper into her coat would do nothing for the discomfort afflicting her bones. No, that carried an entirely different name-

Guilt?

Precisely. But wait-- Did Mrs. Hawkins not deserve and too bring upon her own head all the distress and culpability befalling her? Annabelle closed her eyes briefly. Yes, yes she did but God, what of Nathaniel's pain? What of his distress? How was his heart fairing with it all? Thinking of her husband's woes, Annabelle could not contain the singular nauseating sensation clenching her stomach. Was freedom truly to be so bittersweet?

But in recognizing her guilt, Annabelle also found it to be oddly accompanied by no other than worry. No doubt, Nathaniel had reason for which to be solemn but in settling back, Annabelle's thoughts retreated to the moments just before her departure to the park. Yes, there was much reason for concern because though Annabelle knew not exactly what, she was certain that something within Nathaniel had undoubtedly changed...

Annabelle groaned, stepping from the comforts of a warm bath; nothing better to rid the anger just previously experienced with Mrs. Hawkins. Surely she did not wish to break free of Nathaniel's kiss, but the need to cleanse the secret from her skin was overwhelming. Wrapping a towel about her body, Annabelle dashed to the door wanting nothing more than the safety of her husband's arms and sound of his affectionate words. But in opening the door, her very breaths were stolen. In the shadows, somewhere deep in his mind, Nathaniel sat winding a tattered crimson ribbon slowly about his finger; his thoughts seeming to retreat deeper with each rotation. In the faint hue of the fire, a single tear glistened, streaming slowly along his clenched jaw-all in heaven.