Broken souls

Chapter six: Lies and masks

Newt's POV

I let myself drop on my bed with a loud sigh. My eyes closing instantly as my head hit the pillow. All of this was making me so tired. I felt exhausted, mostly mentally though but my leg wasn't helping very much. After a full day of school the lingering ache became almost too much. The doctor didn't really know if it would stay or not he couldn't explain why it still hurt so it was yet another thing my mom likes to blame on my depression. I wasn't depressed, or so I'd like to say to myself, I didn't even know myself if I was or not. But my mom was, or is, convinced that I am so what else is there to say.

I sigh thinking about the actions that took place today. My mom was worried sick that I didnt come home last night. Thinking I tried to kill myself again she almost did the job for me when I came home like nothing happened. I told her I stayed at a friends home and my phone had died. That wasn't a complete lie. My phone did die and I was with a friend.. I guess. I dont even know what Tommy, Thomas, is anymore. He tells me to stay away one minute but the next he's all nice to me giving me compliments and flirting. I couldn't seem to figure him out. Did he like me or what ?
I let out a laugh at my own thoughts. Shit newt don't be so naive who would like an ugly shank like you? I was nothing, ugly and pathetic. Plus Thomas was straight he dated Teresa. But then why was he flirting with me and at the beach.. Maybe he's bi. Still he wouldnt like someone like me. Look at me.

I stood up walking to my bathroom and staring in the mirror. Ugly. Gay. Pathetic. Useless. I took a deep breath watching the razor in the corner of my eye. The scars on my arms had begin to fade making me miss them more and more. But I refused to be weak. I wasn't going to go back there.
Turning on the shower I quickly undressed and stepped under the warm water. Relaxing my body my thoughts finally wandered of to Minho. He liked me someone actually liked me but it didnt feel right when he kissed me. Still the look on Tommy's face when I called him my boyfriend was a victory. I guess. The look on his face was indescribable. My heart ached for the boy I got to know on the beach last night. It was hard to believe they were the same person but it seemed like Thomas was wearing a mask so thick that he started to become the boy he tried to be.

Newt would know. He did the exact same thing for so long. Dating girls and everything but when his best friend turned on him and spilled his secret everything came crashing down. Next thing he knew he was being tortured everyday at school. Teachers didn't seem to care and he was on his own. When a boy he liked acted like he had a crush on him, he was stupid enough to believe it. Leading him right into the trap when he agreed to a date.

Newt shook his head he didn't want to bring back those memories. He couldn't.
He shivered. The water was getting cold. How long had he been in the shower ? He turned of the water and dried of hurriedly. He smelled dinner but the thought of eating made him sick. His mom would make him eat tho. He put on a jogging and a tank top and made his way down stairs toward the kitchen.

"Just in time" his mom said cheerful as she put a home made lasagne on the table. I forced a smile and sat down as she filled my plate. I stared at it until she sat down opposite of me and started eating. "How was school ?" She asked cheerfully. I wanted to run away but i did what I always did and smiled at her. "It was great me and Minho are doing a project together" as I saw her face lit up with happiness I knew I made the right choice. After that it was silent and when half my plate was empty I excused myself. " I'm gonna go for a walk I won't be that long" i said and she nodded. I liked to walk around it helped me relax.

I was only a few blocks away when shouting pulled me from my thoughts. A woman ran out of the door two houses away from me. She was sobbing violently. I was nailed to the ground. A man ran out after her grabbing her by her hair and pulling her back. She falls to the ground with a cry of pain. He reached out to her but a voice stopped him. "Hey!" A boy ran out of the house. He was limping and his face was covered in blood. I gasped at the sight of him. The dark hair and deep brown eyes. The shape of his body and the sound of his voice. Tommy. He helped the woman up. "Go inside mom lock the door" she ran inside crying. The man laughed. "What do we have now ? Who do you think you are fag?!" He barked pushing Thomas back, he lost his balance and fell to the ground. The man gave him a kick. Making Thomas cry out in pain. Blood was dripping out of his mouth. That's when the adrenaline kicked in. "Tommy!" I yelled running up to him. Tommy's head shot up and his eyes met mine. He turned unhealthy white. "Newt no." His voice came out in a whisper as the man turned to me. "Newt leave!" Thomas yelled. The man lunged forward towards me but Thomas jumped on him. "Go!" He yelled. I stared at him unsure. He looked at me so desperately that I was running before I knew it. My leg was burning begging for me to stop but I couldn't. Everything made sense now. The way tommy acted. His unexplainable bruises. Everything clicked. Tears were running down my face. I only stopped when the familiar sound of a motor cycle came up behind me. It came to a stop beside me. And thomas handed me his helmet. I got on without a word. Clinging to him desperately.

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