Broken souls

Chapter seven: rain and tears

Thomas' POV

I didn't really know where I was going. I could only focus on Newt's arms wrapped around my torso as I drove at a ridiculous speed. My head was throbbing in pain and I felt an ache in my lower stomach. I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not but I felt like my body was trembling uncontrollably. As I turned into a dusty ally I realised I was driving us toward the cabin. I had discovered it two years ago and bought it from an old man in his 80's. He sold it to me for about 400 bucks he seemed glad to be rid of it. I spend all my savings on fixing it up a bit. It was hidden in a small forest far away from the town. No one knew about it not even Gally or my mom. I turned of the engine and got of. Newt handed me the helmet and I took it from him wordlessly. I couldn't even meet his eyes. I didnt know why I had even picked him up but as I saw him running, obviously in pain, I couldn't stop myself. I could use a little company too and I didn't know anyone else I would rather be with right now.

I unlocked the door and let him in before locking it. He was looking around in awe. "Is this yours?" He asked amazed and I nodded. "Yeah" my voice came out hoarse. And he looked at me in concern, stepping closer to me. I took a step back on reflex but regretted it as soon as I saw the look on his face. "Tommy" he whispered stepping closer once again. The sound of his voice saying my name was all it took. My body started trembling again and then the sobs came. Loud and painful. I didn't know why I was letting myself break down in front of Newt. For the past 8 years I had managed just fine without anyone finding out my secret but in less then a week Newt had found a way to look beyond my mask. He stepped closer to me again and touched my arm carefully. Unsure of what to do. "Come on" he said as he guided me toward the bed in the corner. I lay down, clutching my arms around my stomach wishing for the pain to stop wishing for the whole day to be gone. Wishing i could just disappear. He sat down on the edge of the bed, looking hopeless. "Tommy please tell me what I can do." He begged. "Could you.." I paused gasping for air. "Could you just h-hold me for a while." I was scared he would turn around and run or laugh at me. Calling me all the names I heard every night. But he did the exact opposite he gave me a comforting smile and crawled towards me laying down next to me, he opened his arms and I let myself do the one thing I had been trying to avoid for so long. I let myself fall into his arms and he held me as I let myself shatter into a million pieces. He didn't say anything as the sobs continued to wreck my body and I was grateful for that.

My breathing started to slow a while later and my eyes began to feel heavy as I focussed on the sound of Newt's heart beating beneath my ear. The warmth of his body was calming and I realised I hadn't felt this safe in a long while. So I let myself relax and slowly drifted away into a calm sleep.

I shifted letting out a painful groan. The sound of rain was what I heard next. I loved hearing the rain pour on the roof. Movement made me open my eyes as I suddenly was aware of the arms around me. I looked up into the most beautiful brown eyes I had ever seen. "Hey you." Newt said. He gave me a smile but I could see he was worried. I gave him an unsure smile. "Hey" I breathed and his body softened beneath me. "I'm sorry for all of that." I said in a whisper and he stared at me in confusion. "You know this.. Us. I guess it's a bit weird for you having Minho and all that." He swallowed nervously. "There is nothing going on between me and Minho." I chuckled. "Yeah I saw that yesterday." "I mean it Tommy he kissed me but I told him afterwards that I wasn't ready.. I don't like him in that way" my heart pounded in my chest. "Oh" I said.
It was silent for a while but then Newt cleared his throat and I looked up at him again. "Tommy.. What happened yesterday?" He asked. I untangled myself from him then, standing up. "It's nothing" I snapped and as I looked at him I saw the hurt in his eyes. It was then that for the first time i realized that sitting in front of me, on the bed of my cabin, was a boy that was trying so hard to glue everyone else together that he was forgetting to glue himself. For the first time I started to wonder what exactly made him jump that night.

For the first time I realized he might just be as broken as I was.

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That was it guys im hoping the quick updated make up for the short chapters :) lots of love ! I hope you liked it