Chapter Forty One

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Enna

A hand shakes my shoulder and I wake up with a jolt, crying out in surprise. Leah stares back at me nervously.
    "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, I just..." She bites her lip. Even in the darkness, I notice the redness of her eyes. "Well, I needed to talk with someone. And I figured you'd be here." Awkwardly, I push myself up so I lean on an elbow. Leah hops up beside me on Matthew's bed and I blink lazily.
    "Leah? What do you need?" My friend looks at me through the sides of her eyes, as if worried that I can tell what she's thinking. I remain silent as Leah absentmindedly brushes her fingers over the edge of the wrinkled bed sheet. I glance at the alarm clock sitting alone on the bedside table: it's 2:30 in the morning.
    "Enna, I don't know what's wrong with me," Leah starts, raising a lean arm to her forehead. Her deep, brown eyes flash black in the darkness. "I love Oscar. I truly do. And not the kind of 'love' I had for Luke." She pretends to retch and I spare a tense smile, wondering where this is going.
    "Leah..." I mutter. She holds up a hand, signalling for me to hear her out.
    "I mean, you know what it's like with Matthew, right? There's no one else I'm closer to. But now he's in that wheelchair, and..." She sniffs in the middle of her sentence, and I see small tears forming at the corners of her eyes. I almost smack myself in the head for not picking up on the source of her uneasiness earlier. The past two days, I've had the vague notion that something was bothering her, but never did I venture to say anything. "I want to be with him, Enna, but I don't know if I can handle it."
    "Well," I start, trying not to say the wrong thing. Suddenly, Father's words pop into my head and I try them out. "Sometimes you have to let go of something to hold onto something else." Leah shakes her head and laughs harshly.
    "I know you're right, but I still don't think I can take the pressure of that on top of everything else. Maybe I'm being selfish."
    "You're not," I assure her, gripping her hand. She looks up at me, a faint light igniting in her eyes. "If you really want to be with someone, you have to cope with things you wouldn't normally cope with. Nothing lost, nothing gained." Leah stares for a while at the bed covers, nodding gently to herself. My heart twists in pity and I rope my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. She lies her head on my shoulder and sobs deep into the night.

* * *

    Someone else wakes me, but this time it's Danny. At first, he peers at me awkwardly through the bedroom door then shakes his head and stalks over to me, flipping on the light.
    "What are you doing in here?" I hiss, trying to cover up my showing skin with blankets. He growls and throws the comforters off of me, dragging me to my feet. I slap his hand and break his grip, sending a glare in his direction. "What the hell is your problem?"
    "Leah told me the way to your room. We've got a situation," Danny grumbles, pacing back and forth agitatedly. I stand awkwardly, barely concealed by the baggy sweatpants and t-shirt I'd found in Matthew's dresser. I'd rathered wear something of his than an old, white Trainee uniform. I spare a glance at the alarm clock and almost gasp; I've slept in to 3:00 in the afternoon. Hurriedly, I jump up and slip on my worn-through army boots. Danny continues. "The guards tripped over themselves trying to tell me that black vehicles and jets just came pouring into the city."
    "What?" I gasp, flinging the blankets over the bed in a messy attempt to make it back up.
    "And that's not all," he mumbles. "My guards saw some of the soldiers setting up Security Tablets." I stare at him blankly and he rolls his eyes impatiently.
    "Security Tablets are like standing cameras with three-hundred-sixty degree vision. Come even near to one, and it'll recognize your facial pattern instantly." I scowl and tap my foot against the floor.
    "Do you think they've seen us yet? Do you think they know where we are?" Danny fixes me with a level stare. The skin around his eyes looks sunken in, wraith-like.
    "Not yet. Their hub is the Pillar. Even though that's a few blocks away, we've got to take every precaution against being seen until we have a battle plan. Letting anyone out now would be sure suicide." I gulp, running a hand through my mess of hair. What might Fake Enna be planning, moving into the city like this? And, more importantly, what's to become of Matthew? The thought that he's here, so near yet so far, makes my skin crawl with restlessness.
    "Does the Philadelphia resistance know what's happening? Are they cooperating?" Danny allows a smile. It makes his face younger, I realize. I'd forgotten for a while that I'm older than him.
    "That's the only good thing that Jackson's done for me," he mutters, shaking his head. "They're all true fighters. At the moment, we're working to organize an offensive."
    "Maybe an offensive is just what they want," I warn. "Are you sure that that's wise right now?" Danny nods grimly and takes a deep breath.
    "Come see for yourself."

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