His regretted reject

chapter 4

Jakes wolf

Jake pov

(sensitive topic in this chapter I will indicate the start and end with bold writing. This chapter contains graphic images of suicide)

Lying on my bad trying not to focus on the pain that I am feeling. I'm trying to distract myself thinking about other things like music or school. No matter how hard I try I just can I can't focus on anything but the hurt, the pain.

All of a sudden there is a heart wrenching pain the pulls in my chest and I know what it is my mate is breaking or bond down even further. He is pushing the bond to its limits. I scream out in pain and the tears seep out. My mother comes rushing in."baby what'd wrong?what's happening? "she asks with concern and I just cry out harder and louder from the pain in my chest. I can feel him, I can feel what he is doing. He is doing something that he should only be doing with me. The pain shoots up from my chest and straight into my head and I scream out in pain.

My wolf howls in pain. The thought of my mate having sex with someone else is killing him. My wolf howls in saddness and starts to whimper at the fact that our mate doesn't want us.

"it's OK baby boy "my mother says while holding me trying to comfort me and sooth the pain that I'm feeling.

We just lay there with her holding me as I feel asleep in her arms like I did when I was a child and I hurt myself.

As the darkness consume me I went numb I felt nothing anymore. The pain was gone and nothing was left.no happiness no anger just nothing.

*******
(beginning of the sensitive part you can skip this I will state where the end is with more bold writing)

As woke up sat up with a emotionless look on my face I felt nothing. Going to the bathroom I stood in front of the mirror and noticed my skin has become pale and I have dark circle around my eyes as if I hadn't slept in weeks.

Looking down at the my vanity cabinet under the mirror I saw the solution to my problem. The solution to the end of living like a husk of of my former self.

The shine and rejection of the object held promise of freedom and release from all of this emptiness.

I picked up the blade and held it in my hand and just held it staring at it. If I just end it now he will be free of our bond and he will be able to mate whom ever he wishes. He will be free.... I will be free.

I toke the blade and held it in my hand at the point where I would need to cut where I would just have to cut to free myself from this.

I place the blade pointing into my skin piercing it releasing the bright crimson liquid and some how I felt relief of pain and relief of weight the has been place on me.

Dragging the blade across my skin cutting deep. I saw the crimson colour drip to the floor and over the Basin.

Time felt as if it was slowing down and I place the blade In my other hand and placed it on my other wrist and repeated the process.

As my blood leaked out my body, my legs started to feel weak and my knee started to shake from not being able with stand my weight. I collapsed on the floor and just lay there nit feeling anything but bliss and relief.

Giving into the darkness ifelt approaching I just lay there knowing that this was where I could finally do something for my mate I could finish make him happy and leave Him without the Burden of the matting bond.

My eyes fell closed.....

(end of sensitive area)

**********

Beep...beep...beep

Is this the after life? If it is its irritating and I have one hell of a head ache. My eye lids felt heavy and basically impossible to open but I tried and I slowly started to force them open.

I opened me eye and had to shut them again as the room that I am in was to bright the walls and basically everything was a pure white and I don't think my eye could deal with that. My second attempt was easier and once my eye w ere open every thing was very blurry bt soon came into focus.

"Jake "I heard some say with their voice lined with worry, the women didn't say it very loud but it basically sounded like she screamed at due to my headache.

I just turned my head to her and saw that it was my mother with tear stained cheeks from crying and there was a sudden wash of guilt that I had hurt my mother like this. She is usually a very strong women and doesn't cry easily.

She rushed over from the chair that she was sitting in and hugged me bone crushingly tight. "my baby boy is ok "she say and pulls her head away and still holding my shoulders "what the hell is wrong with why would you do that, I don't know how I would live if you weren't here she say with tears forming in her eyes again. "I'll be right back I am going to go call the doctor "she say while leaving the room

Moments later she walks back with the doctor. "iv sent Rose a message that your awake she said that she will be here in 5 minutes " my mother says walking over to me "Hello Jake I'm Doctor Henderson but you can call me Shawn. How are you feeling? "he asks walking closed to me searching his pocket for something.

" I have one hell of a head ache and my body feels very weak. "I reply and he nods pulling out and long silver pen torch thing and tells me "hold her head still ". He holds my head and shines the torch into my eyes. "every thing seems to be alr...."before he finishes the door bursts open with a very angry looking Rose and I worried Rider behind her. She storms over to me "what the fuck. I should back hand you into tomorrow you little fool. "she raged "you were going to leave me and Rider, you twat. Do you know how angry I am with you? I have been worried sick for the past 4 and a half weeks!! "She screams even louder "mam you need to calm down "Shawn say and Rose turns to him giving him the pool that would scare any man. Shawn was about to open his mouth again to say something but Rider jumped in and covered his mouth. Shawn looked shocked at this and looked at Rider who was shaking his head with his index finger on his lips telling him to shush .

I looked at Rose "4 and half weeks? " I ask "Yes that how fucking long you have been out. I have been worried sick and I'm not eating Weller sleeping well. "she says and just give her an apologetic look. This seems to make her even angrier. She open her mouth about to say something but stops and calms herself down. Rose turned around cussing under her breath while walking out the room say she will be back in 10 .

Shawn carried on explaining things to me and suggested that I go to a therapist but I Said that was not necessary.

Eventually every one left Rose came back calm and not murderous. She may have seemed a bit harsh but she doesn't handle well-wishes sympathy or the whole caring thing so I Kinda expected that.

Shawn said that I will have some amnesia but I only remember bits and pieces. Mostly of me crying and nothing else.

I feel asleep feeling a little confuse as to what would happen for me to do what I did. No one wants to tell me they all said that it's for my own good that I don't know which still left me curious.