Release The Dark Within: My Twisted Love Story (boyxboy) (boyxgirl)

Chapter 3: The Numbness that Follows

Hey Fans... sorry for the wait and I hope you like this chap... I've been having some issues lately and I wanted to thank you for all hanging in there... I PROMISE I haven't given up on anything yet... I will keep writing but it just takes me time. Thanks for being awesome fans!!

I wanted to say a special thanks to  angelnightwings for helping ne to get motivated!!

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Chapter 3: The Numbness that Follows  

Anastasia POV

It was dark and my body ached, but through the darkness, I noticed that my wrists were bruised and scraped from being bound. I felt an unmistakable sting on my cheek which meant that he had hit me again. I looked up and saw sadness in his eyes. So much sorrow lived there, that all I really wanted to do was hold him in my arms and make it all go away. But I knew that it would never happen, because he tortured himself, just as much as he tortured me.

He knelt in front of me, caressing my red and swollen cheek with his soft, yet strong fingertips. I shivered at his careful touch, but it wasn’t the touch I desired most. No. I wanted the loving caress of my secret love, but I was never going to receive that, so why did I continue to resist him and the love he professed to me? He leaned in closer so his bare lips brushed my ear and spoke softly to me, using that deep voice that seemed too sweet to be real.

“I’m sorry my sweetest Anastasia. I never mean to hurt you.” His words were gentle and sincere and although I believed he truly didn’t want to harm me, he still did. Every time we met. I smiled sadly up at him, tears threatening to burst from my eyes.

“I know you don’t.” I confirmed his statement, because it was true. Something in those eyes said that he just lost control sometimes. I understood what it felt like, to feel numb and lose control just to feel something more than nothing. Because I lost control all of the time and felt numb almost every hour of every day. Maybe it was a forced numbness, but it was numbness all the same. It was only when I was around him or around my secret love, or when I saw my love from a far, that I felt anything at all.

Suddenly I felt the gentle shaking of my shoulder and my eyes snapped open in panic. Was I still with him? What did I do wrong now? Maybe I should just give up already and admit that I loved him. My tired eyes found sad grey ones and I realized exactly what had happened.

I had a panic attack and fainted. Again. It happened every time after our 'special weekend' together and it was growing more and more difficult to come up with excuses and fend off my brother’s inquiries.

I was glad he was here though, because he seemed to be the only one who had the ability to calm me. He reached over and brushed the tangled mess of hair from my face before eyeing me with concern.

"Stasi, are you alright? What happened?" Van asked gently, his voice giving away the worry he tried to hide.

It must have been hard for him to see me this way and have no idea what brought it on, because all I ever did was lie. I lied to my family and friends, him, my secret love. I lied to myself. And the most fucked up part of it, was that some days, the lies seemed real.

"I'm fine Vanny. I was just tired. It’s nothing to worry about." I replied while pushing myself up so I sat in the uncomfortable bed in the nurse’s office with my back rested against the wall.

"You always say that Stasi, but it's never a good enough excuse. I'm tired too, hell half the damn school is tired, but you’re the only one who ends up fainting, once a month like clockwork." Van responded with a sigh, as if he was fed up with my half-truths and half-assed explanations.