Beautiful Masks

Chapter Thirty-Seven: And the Mask Falls Off

 Chapter Thirty-Seven: And the Mask Falls Off

Pearce

I watched her walk away, tears gliding down her cheeks she looked so heartbroken and I'd caused that. I knew this was going to happen. I knew and I didn't do anything to stop it. I should've told her. I was the cause of all of this.

And now she's gone. I'll probably never even get her back

I have never felt this horrible in a really long time. My life has been filled with crappy moments. Mom flinching at the sight of me. Seeing things that I could never erase. Feeling like a complete piece of shit not being able to protect my family. The list goes on. But this, by far, topped my crappy moments. I will never be able to understand how much me not telling the past has hurt both of us.

She was upset and hurt and it was entirely my fault. Why couldn't I just tell her? She was right, and I knew that she was right. I would've probably never told her. I can't believe I hurt my angel so much. She wasn't even mine anymore. I wouldn't be able to hold her, touch her, kiss her, nothing. That hurt most of all.

Waking up the next morning and remembering that we weren't together was like punch to the gut. It hurt. The worst part was that I hurt her. I didn't have her anymore. I felt like such a girl, sitting in bed with no motivation to get up or do anything. But I forced myself to work around this. I dealt most of my life without Belle and I didn't need her. I could still do whatever I wanted without her around. I had to.

The events of the past few months kept revolving around in my head. I wanted her back. But I think I needed time to myself. I needed to build myself up again and be the man I should've been before I met Belle. I needed to figure myself out. I needed to make sure that I wasn't so caught up into her that I lost myself. I also didn't wanna be reliant on her, that's unhealthy. I loved her and I was going to get her back, but first I needed to work on myself. To work on myself, I'm going to have to embrace my past before telling her.

Ashley

I woke up the next morning looking like a mess. I had puffy eyes and bags under them. I didn't remember when I fell asleep. I just knew that I felt as though I had cried out all the pain and the sorrow and my mind just shut down.

If only he could've opened up. I sighed, not wanting to dwell on it I tried to think of something else. But I couldn't just shove away the pain and I didn't exactly want to sit in bed all day just because of a break up. I was a strong woman. I could walk out and be fine. But as I opened the door, I saw a distressed, completely broken Pearce and my heart broke. I closed the door and dropped back into my bed, wrapping the sheets around me in an attempt to hold my heart together. But it wasn't working my heart was tearing apart. It was broken and I willed myself not to cry.

I couldn't live in a house with my ex-boyfriend. Ex-Boyfriend. The word was taunting me. It was making me angry.

Ex-boyfriend.

He was an ex. That was hard to digest. I had always thought of Pearce to be my one and only. Maybe we weren't meant for each other. Maybe we just needed time. Since both of us rushed into this. We went through things so fast. One minute we're together the next we're waking up in bed naked. We were both broken and in pain and it was important that we sorted out our life. I couldn't go back to him only for him to break my heart again. I just needed to remind myself that I didn't need a guy to hold me up. I'd been my own support for so long, I could do it again.

I stayed in bed, not wanting to do anything. I grabbed my laptop and sat up. I needed to do something. But before doing anything I had to tug myself away from the hook named Pearce. I looked at my Facebook profile picture and tears leaked from my eyes and I wiped them away. It was both of us. He was holding my waist while I touched his cheek and my other hand was on his. Both of us were looking at each other and it was picture taken of us at the party at that Luke guy's house. I took the picture down, posting a picture that I had of myself that Andie had taken a few months ago.