after:
PENELOPE
sure enough, the denoli's arrived at my parent's front door step with a basket of baked goods and a box of sympathy cards.
they handed them to me gently and said soothingly as if talking to a baby, "penelope, we were given so many gifts and whatnot and just thought that maybe you would like to take some, seeing as you are also suffering."
smiling fakely, i twirled a strand of hair in my face. "thank you. again, i'm sorry about zach."
just saying his name made me almost lose it. almost. how could i break down because of something so stupid in front of his parents and his little sister? his 6 year old sister who still thought he was on vacation and at work.
zach. my husband. zach. his name is lovely.
:::
the incident:
PENELOPE
we didn't reach land. we were floating around until morning, asleep with a rope tied to each other and another to the box of supplies.
i noticed a falter in zach's smile when he tried reassuring me, and i knew he was only doing it for my benefit. but, to be truthful, seeing my best friend so sad, and him not admitting faults, was probably the worst feeling i'd ever experienced.
"are you hungry?" he asked, his stiff arm shuffling in the life jacket for the box.
i didn't respond, but he handed me an MRE and i opened the package lifelessly.
we had to mix water into it and i almost gagged when i shoveled the first bit into my mouth.
we were in silence, processing the situation we were in.
he startled me when his voice arose. "we won't be able to eat the others, okay? you might be hungry today and tomorrow, but this is so it will last longer."
my legs were dangling freely in the ocean; if a shark didn't approach us i was grateful!
not knowing where to leave the trash, we shoved them into our pockets, not knowing the surroundings and not wanting to litter.
for zach, i updated my mood and attempted to be the positive one. "alright, let's swim! we have to find land by today!"
grudgingly he obliged and paddled along with me. we took turns dragging the box with us, and eventually the silence overcame us and we exasperatingly tried talking to each other.
"so, have you seen the latest episode of the vampire diaries??"
"penelope, the only time i've ever watched that was when you forced me to on movie night."
"true...but you know you loved stefan."
he rolls his eyes and paused, allowing the water to trickle down his face. he knew we were going nowhere, i knew that too.
"at this point in the date, i would offer to bring you to my house." zach joked, trying to pose seductively in the water with his bright orange life jacket strapped around him.
i didn't laugh, but i simply retorted, "yeah right, you could barely afford your apartment during college!"
he swam closer to me until we were a few centimetres apart, and suddenly we weren't apart at all, and all i could taste was the salty water that i despised so greatly and the beautiful skin of my boyfriend.
