Walking Corpse

chapter seven

April 8, 2005

Some weeks passed before Kai brought himself to go see Dakota again. Unfortunately, he was greeted by Kate again. She invited him inside as she had things to discuss with him about Dakota.

"I don't understand her sometimes," Kate sighs as she holds her mug of coffee.

"What do you mean?" Kai asks and keeps his gaze to the wooden table.

"All she asked for was to see you coming to her because you needed her. Then when that happened, she didn't even hesitate to push you away," Kate answers.

He sighs and moves his gaze down to his mug of coffee, "She's inflicting the kind of pain I did to her. Could you blame her?"

"The last time I saw her this way was when she discovered the truth about her parents. She took so long to get past it," Kate shakes her head.

"She never spoke of her parents—she never said much about them, now that I think of it," Kai mumbles.

"Dakota was abandoned as a child and I took her in. I contacted her parents but they never gave a single answer. She hides behind this wall built of this false hope because she's so insecure, and she just doesn't let people in. She lives in this fear of being abandoned. Her world is built on a foundation that's meant to crumble one day."

Dakota was rarely ever opened to Kai. Even on the days where she was, it was only small things. He didn't mind it but closing herself off from people it wouldn't allow for her to be helped. She couldn't save herself from everything. If she did, it would be too much to handle.

He scoffs and smiles slightly, "She's almost like how I am, you know?"

"I've always seen it with you two. I think you two understand each other better than anyone else ever will."

"Can I see her?" He looks up at Kate.

"I believe she's still sleeping but go ahead," Kate nods then gets up to leave the room.

Kai calms his nerves and steadies his shaking hands before heading up to see Dakota. She's lying on her bed staring out the window at the view of the city. He stays at the door not being able to step in.

"Lynnie, can we talk?" He asks.

Dakota turns around and sets her gaze on him, "About what?"

"The wall you're putting up against me right now," He mumbles.

She sits up and pulls her legs close to her. There was a look on her that made him tense up, it made him weak. He'd be willing to do anything for her.

"It's a habit, the only thing I know how to do when I feel myself getting hurt," She replies quietly.

"I know. Can I take you somewhere? We don't have to talk or anything but come with me," He takes a few steps into the room.

Dakota thinks about it for a bit before answering, "Okay but nothing out of the ordinary."

"Fair enough," He nods.

~

They decided to visit the art museum, a place that both of them came to love deeply. The art shown could be simple at times but there was always artwork that held complex feelings. Art museums became a place of tranquility for the two.

Dakota stops at a bridge that went across traffic below. She rests against the railing as Kai stood across from her, moving restlessly. He seemed to avoid looking at her by looking down or stealing quick glances. For a moment, she felt guilt run through her. Why was she doing this to him? Was it out of fear? Was she doing it intentionally? He owned up to his actions so he should be forgiven.

She sighs and starts walking towards the museum with Kai following her at a slow pace. He had just gotten better from treatment so what if her actions push him over his limit again? She couldn't stop thinking and was dealing with a major headache. He hid his true feelings well, but never from her. He was hurting. Other people wouldn't see it but she would because she knew him. She'd be able to detect the smallest changes to him so it was impossible for him to hide anything from her. Kai didn't know her well enough because of how closed she was, and maybe she should've been more open with him. More guilt ran through her and there was so much weight to carry now. It was difficult to breathe.

The visit to the art museum didn't help much, there was too much tension locked in the atmosphere. Along the way home, they cut through a park they would usually go to and Dakota was finally able to speak her mind.

"Kai, I'm sorry for what I'm doing," She lets out a deep breath.

He stops momentarily and looks back to her, "You didn't need to apologize."

"Why not?" She asks.

"Isn't it reasonable for me to take the pain you're giving me because of what I did to you?"

Dakota moves in front of Kai to stop him completely before she answers, "Take the apology. Who am I to be doing this to you? It isn't right."

"So you aren't upset with me anymore?" He looks away becoming nervous.

"A bit but I shouldn't take it this far," She admits and moves forward to hug him.

Kai remains still from being taken off guard as Dakota hugs him. He couldn't remember the last time they hugged, she always gave the best ones. After a few seconds, he moves away and gazes at her momentarily.

"We should go," He averts his gaze quickly and starts walking.

Dakota smiles as he hears him talking to himself quietly. This was the side of Kai she knew, the one that was constantly nervous around her. She only wished that he would say the things he really felt. Maybe then she could open up more to him too. She was as afraid as he was though, the vulnerability was a lot to accept.