My Brother's Ragdoll(Junjóu Romantica)

Chapter 8

Haruhiko's POV

Since my brother came to visit I had been harsher with Misaki. It wasn't his fault I was insecure. Ever since we were little Akihiko had everything I had ever wanted. It wasn't that I truly wanted it, but I didn't want him to have it. I don't think it's that unusual a concept, it's normal for children anyway.

Whatever the case, Misaki was the first thing I had ever truly cared about. He was mine. He had lived with me and we had sex every night. He still screamed, but eventually he would stop. I was training him properly enough. But Akihiko stayed the night and I caught him embracing Misaki. I became insecure. Sumi had just wanted to take advantage of Misaki in a brutal sort of way. But for Akihiko to embrace Misaki was far too intimate.

What's worse is it looked like Misaki was being comforted. That was much more insulting; as if I was so dreadful Misaki needed protection. That upset me so much to the point that I hit Misaki for the first time. I felt bad. It has been three weeks and we haven't talked much since that. Dinner was quiet. He stopped looking at me in bed and I hadn't bothered to touch him. This whole thing was driving me crazy and it was beginning to interfere with work.

A few days ago an important investor came for a meeting with me. It took months to schedule the meeting in the first place. The meeting had started smoothly enough, but in the middle of my presentation I started drifting in and out. Misaki had plagued my mind the entire time. I had barely managed to recover and luckily enough the investor had decided to invest before he came.

It used to be that whenever I came home Misaki would run to me and take my bags. Now he just cooked and for the most part I knew his head was elsewhere. I knew he was only thinking of Akihiko. I became paranoid. I answered the phone every time when I was home. Akihiko was smart though, and he never called when I was home. Actually he never called at all. I had checked the phone bill online every chance I got, but after a while of nothing I stopped.

Finally two nights ago I tried to touch him. I was gentle enough... he seemed to like it. He even kissed me back a little. I started touching his crotch massaging it. It had just started to get hard when he made an excuse and ran to the bathroom. Of course this infuriated me to no end, but I couldn't help it. I refused to ever make Misaki scream like he had in the past.

I didn't like loving Misaki; it was truly a burden especially since he didn't seem to agree on our relationship. Unfortunately, I didn't have a say in loving Misaki and my heart is his for the foreseeable future.

I had to get things with Misaki back on track. For the first time in my life I left work early. I bought a dozen red roses and left them in the car. I headed to the book store to see if I could get the newest Kan volume. I walked in and checked out the shelves. They didn't have it, but before I went home to patch things up with Misaki I decided to get a cup of coffee. Then I saw them. I saw that asshole Akihiko embracing Misaki... and kissing his forehead!

To say I was enraged is an understatement. I wanted to kill him. I pictured it perfectly in my head. I thought about finding all of Akihiko's novels and cram them all into his throat. How could he even think of doing something like this? What was worse I didn't really feel surprised. I had no idea how often this had occurred. Did Misaki somehow afford a cheap secret phone? I had to check our phone records again. I stormed out of the bookstore before they saw me and got into my car. I started driving with no destination. I was furious, but for the first time I was mad at Misaki too. He must have agreed to meet Akihiko here.

I couldn't bear the thought. The idea that Misaki hated me so much he would jump into the arms of my brother. How could he? Why couldn't I have the one thing that I want?

I had been driving recklessly for 15 minutes, just barely avoiding car accidents. I was festering in my angry thoughts.

Suddenly I had a moment of clarity. I had been referring to Misaki as a thing that I want. He is actually a person. I should have realized that sooner. There are people who are meant to stay miserable... perhaps Misaki awakening life into my heart was a fluke and never should have happened...

Akihiko would treat him better. When they made love Misaki's screams wouldn't make it seem like rape.

Perhaps they would all be better off...

This thought kept going through my head as I gradually added more and pressure on the gas.

A/N: So next chapter we will find out whether or not Haruhiko will attempt suicide. I promise no character deaths, but review if you want a character death. Hope you enjoyed.