Ten | newtmas

five

A/N- Short chapter and I'm so sorry it took so long! I was on vacation and theres the holidays and school. Tons of new chapters coming soon, since I have the time and I can finally begin the newtmas part of the story after this! Hope y'all enjoy! xx

    It was awkward at first, but we're now all eating the food they served for dinner in my room. My dad's stayed mostly silent, but asked some questions on the rest of the tour.

    We saw the dining hall I'll usually have to eat in, we saw where I'll take my medicine, and they showed me how to contact my parents if needed. Theres a "common area" of sorts. Apparently, since this is the more sane non-lethal section, we're all allowed to hang out. Plus, we get some days out. Like field trips. How fun.

    My mom's been asking me every three seconds if I want to back out, but my mind is made up. I can't be a burden anymore.

    Whats great about this place, is that on the tour, the guide didn't get annoyed with me. My dad rolled his eyes a bit but otherwise I've kinda been golden. It'd be nice to have a place where I'm not constantly judged for who I am.

    But that's not my focus. My focus is to get better.

    There really isn't all that much to the place, just basic stuff. Bathrooms down the hallway, classes that I don't wanna take in a separate wing, and just some other things I ought to know. We didn't pass anyone else on the tour, because apparently they're at their classes. It's probably learning how to draw a circle or something, but either way I'd much rather not deal with a school-ish environment again.

    My mother is rambling about the various programs available to me and how great the therapist is, and I just smile and occasionally say "mmhm" while my dad complains that the food tastes gross.

    I'm actually anxious (surprise, surprise,) about meeting my roommate. What if I hate him? I've grown a disliking of most people, but what if I can't stand the kid? He's only fourteen so he can't be too bad, it's not like he'll kill me.

    As if my mind was read, the door opens and a little boy with baby fat and rosy cheeks walks in, innocent face but looks like he's been through a lot. He seems tired, but alert.

    "Oh! You must be Newt. I'm Chuck, your roommate," he says. I stand up as if I was just caught in someones room.

    "Uh, yeah. I'm- uh- Newt, yeah," I say while mentally slamming my head against a wall.

    "Yeah," Chuck says with a laugh. "I'm trying to get away from this boy Ben. He's shouting again. You'll get used to it though," he says, plopping himself down on his bed.

    I turn to my parents and my mom is smiling.

    "Hello Chuck! I'm Newt's mother, you seem like a very sweet boy," my mom says. I sit back down on the bed and Chuck turns back.

    "Hello! Thank you," Chuck says, and I let out a breath I seemed to be holding, relieved he's a good kid.

    "You seem normal. Why are you here?" my father jumps in. I wince while my mother hits him.

    "I'm so sorry," I say quickly. Chuck laughs again, a surprisingly joyous sound, looking to my dad.

    "Thanks, but I'm here for panic attacks and a couple of other things. I'm glad I look normal though," he says.

    "Newt, we'll go learn some more things from Dr. Ava Paige. We'll leave you two alone," my mom says, grabbing my dad and walking out.

    As soon as the door closes I turn to Chuck, my heart racing a thousand miles an hour. "I'm so sorry about them," I say.

    "Hey, don't worry about it. You seem great. Also, since you're the newbie, I'm going to need to teach you some things. First off, how old are you?" he asks.

    "Uh, seventeen," I say.

    "Three years difference, not too bad. Anyways, I learned everything from the best so I'll share my knowledge with you," he says.

    "About what?" I ask.

    "About TIMI!" Chuck says excitedly.

    "Timmy?" I ask.

    "TIMI. T-I-M-I. Its what we call Ted Immenty. Lesson one", Chuck says.

    "Oh, okay," I say, tapping my foot in tens to calm my nerves.

    "Alright well, I'm guessing you'll want to spend some more time with your family before they leave. And don't worry, I already had today's panic attack," he says. I'm shocked when he says this, almost as a joke. I guess my face must have shown it because he laughs. "I use humor to cope. Its every single day, so I might as well get used to it."

    "Yeah," I say. I get up, trying to take eight steps in here so I could finish them outside. I succeed and take my other two steps outside then stop to snap ten times. I see my parents talking to the nurse at the medication window down the hall so I make my way over. Slowly.

    Eventually they see me and dismiss themselves, walking over.

    "Hi, sweetie. Your roommate seems very nice." my mother says. I nod, then groan and nod nine more times. My mom looks sad. Pity sad. She hugs me and I hug back. While she squeezes me, my father stands beside us awkwardly watching.

    When my mom pulls away I turn to my dad, heart racing, and without putting too much thought into it, I hug him. The most bold thing I've done in a long time. I can't think of how many months its been since I hugged my father. Its been forever. But this hug is a promise, a promise that he'll want it when he sees me next. That I'll get better. That he'll be proud of me.

    Before long he puts his arms around me and squeezes for a second before patting me on the back. I'm faced away from my mom because I'm sure she's crying, and if I saw her crying it'd be too much for me.

    I pull away and look at my dad. His face is unreadable as he looks back.

    "Take care, Dad." I say, choking on my words. My dad nods once and I turn to my mom.

    "I guess you'll want to be going," I say. As suspected, she's crying enough tears to fill a swimming pool. She nods and grabs me for a hug again.

    "Are you sure you want to do this?" she says.

    "Yes," I whisper, while my head is buried in her shoulder.

    "I love you so much, Newt. Call any time you want. If they have a problem, tell them to call me," she says.

    "Okay Mom," I say. She releases me and looks at me like she's trying to take me all in. Like she's trying to memorize me. Like its the last time she'll see me.

    "I love you so much."

    "I love you too," I say. My mom gives me a sympathetic smile.

    "Go get the car, I'll walk Newt back to his room," my mom says, and my dad walks away, towards the entrance.

    We walk towards my room while I start feeling sick with worry, like usual, despite my anti-anxiety pills. She stops for me every ten steps, and after some time we get to my room.

    She turns to me and hugs me one last time before wiping her eyes.

    "I'll talk to you soon, Mom," I say, trying to keep myself together.

    "Talk to you soon," She says, taking one last look before I walk into my room and shut the door behind me.