Ten | newtmas

fifty eight

Today is a big day. I've been texting Alby and Teresa all morning despite them not being up yet, and I could barely sleep, so I'm running on pure adrenaline.

"Relax, sweetheart. It's out of your hands now," Mom says, giving me a tired smile. She doesn't technically have to be up yet, but I think she's up for me. I appreciate it.

Her words would probably have bothered me a lot more a year ago. Out of your hands. A lot of things are out of my hands, and I know that now. But this feels different. "Do you think it's started yet?"

"Probably not, no," my mother says after taking a sip of her coffee. She offered to make me some, but I think I'd implode from shakiness. I go to ask another question, but she answers it before I even open my mouth. "I spoke to her last night, and she sounded as ready as she can be."

The thought almost makes me smile. It's one of those seemingly normal things in my life that really isn't all that typical when you look into it. I still wish for that sometimes, but life doesn't always go according to plan. Mine hasn't. The plan was to stay in England; to have parents that'd stay together; to marry a girl and be happy all the time. I may hate the way I had to get here, but I know now that those things can't be controlled. And if I can get to a place where I'm content, normalness means nothing.

"It has to work," I say. "Right?"

Mom doesn't look as optimistic as I'd like her to be, but I understand why. We have a lot more going against us than we do for us. But isn't that always the case? "It will," she says anyway.

I wonder how Thomas is feeling, and how he took the news that this is happening in the first place. Is he as nervous as I was? In a way, I think I'm more anxious now than I was for mine. I still wish I could have gone, but everyone else thought otherwise.

My phone sounds off, and I fumble with it, turning it on to see that Alby has finally decided to join the living. He's asking if it's started yet, and I say it hasn't, even though I don't know for sure. Did I wake him with all of my texts? I should feel bad, but right now I could use all the help I can get. Besides, Alby was pretty excited for today too.

The other day was his birthday, so I spent it with him and a few of his friends, only trying to distract myself. It worked to some extent. I got to see our old friend group as a whole, and that was something I never expected to happen again. Alby didn't tell anyone about Thomas or TIMI, which I'm grateful for, but whenever he did come to sit with me he'd brag that he was the reason today is even happening. I can't argue with that one.

If he'd never told me to go to Thomas' mother's house a week ago, then she wouldn't know what was happening to Thomas. And if she didn't know what's happening, she wouldn't have called TIMI. And I'm certainly glad she did, because today, January second, is Thomas Green's hearing that decides his fate at TIMI.

It's been a crazy week, starting with me coming home and announcing to my mother that Thomas' would be calling her. Since then, his mom got a lawyer, called TIMI, and got her case together for Thomas with our help. Turns out, our moms get along. Who would have thought?

I'm texting Alby that I'm nervous about our chances when I get the notification. Just a small insignificant sounding ping that pops up at the top of my screen. I go to dismiss it, just focused on getting my text out, because the notification is from an email and who really cares about those? But something stops me. It's from an address I don't recognize, and the only thing that shows is the subject line. It reads Merry Christmas, despite it being the new year already.

Frowning, I click on it and it takes me to an email with not a lot of text, but an attachment at the bottom. I only have to skim it to understand, and I nearly drop my phone. My mother looks at me in confusion, but I'm too busy running to the stairs to give her an explanation, my shaky fingers trying to work my phone as best they can.