Limerence | I

15. Destination Unknown

"I've noticed improvement, Miss Shaw." Professor Huck stopped me once everyone left the room. I couldn't help but notice that he was keeping a close eye on me. It made me nervous at first but after getting more comfortable with what Xavier was teaching me, I was confident.

"Thanks but I can't take all of the credit." I responded with a smile on my face. He nodded his head and sighed. His reaction was almost as if he was disappointed. I raised my eyebrows. Waiting for him to continue.

"I know that Mr. Grant has helped you a lot but you're the one doing the work, Charli. You have to start giving yourself some credit. It's your ambition and optimism that got you here, not Xavier's teachings." Professor Huck spoke with years of wisdom. I thought to myself for a moment. He was absolutely right. In the back of my mind, I always thought I wasn't good enough. I needed to hear that from him.

"Thank you, Professor Huck." I said with as appreciative of a tone as I could. His thin lips curled into a smile. I left the practice room and entered the crowded hallway. And just my luck, I see Alex talking to Xavier and Astrid. Xavier's arm was around Astrid's waist just like it was around mine on the Ferris wheel. I could feel my heart crumpling into a million pieces just at the sight. I turned on my heels, preparing to walk in the opposite direction.

"Charli!" I heard Alex yell from down the hall. Shit! I hesitantly turned back around and walked toward them as slowly as I can. And when I got there, I felt just as awkward as I imagined. Astrid had her sparkling smile on, Alex placed his arm around my shoulders, and Xavier looked me in the eyes with an intensity that could kill. Usually, there was a softness to his gaze but it was now completely gone. The only explanation was what happened on the Ferris wheel.

"You're not busy, are you?" Alex looked down at me. I should have said yes but instead I shook my head, no. "Good, I have a surprise for you." He said. I knitted my eyebrows inward. I had been getting a lot of surprises lately. I cleared my throat, not knowing how to respond. "You'll love it." He finished. Although I liked Alex, I didn't know whether or not to go with him. After kissing Xavier, I knew that would be wrong. Then again, Xavier has a girlfriend.

"Can't wait." I smiled. I couldn't dwell on a guy that I couldn't have for any longer. I was ready to move on and I hoped Alex would help me do that. I almost thought I hear Xavier scoff under his breath. However, I realized that he wasn't trying to hide it. He very visibly rolled his eyes. Astrid's perfectly arched eyebrows raised.

"You guys haven't made up yet?" She folded her arms across her chest and looked up at her boyfriend. His eyes were still glued to mine. She looked back and forth between the two of us right before Xavier took her hand and walked away. There was a weight lifted off of my shoulders once they were gone. But at the same time, I was confused. That was a side of Xavier that I had never seen before. Was he angry at me or the situation? Either way it didn't make sense.

♠️

Alex took me to the rooftop of his apartment building. The view of the city of stunning as the sun was reaching it's highest point. As I stood near the ledge, my purple curls blew wildly. The moment reminded me of Xavier and I on the roof of his building. My lips curled into a smile when I thought about him pretending to fall to his death. That was before he and I got closer; when I just had a crush on him. I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about him now. The feelings were overwhelming whenever he touched me, or smiled, or if he even stood within 10 feet of me. I would hate to call it love. So for now, we'll say I was infatuated.

"What are you smiling about?" Alex asked me when he stood beside me. The smile quickly faded as I was brought back to reality. I wasn't with Xavier on his rooftop, I was with Alex on his. Somehow, this wasn't as exciting.

"Nothing. I just thought about something." I explained, looking up at him. I noticed a glistening in his eyes. He was without a doubt, extremely attractive. He draped his arm over my shoulder once again. "So what's this surprise you were talking about?" I changed the subject. The handsome young man took a deep breath.

"I know we've only been on one date but I want you to know that I really like you." He started. I couldn't stop myself from giggling a little.

"I figured that out already." I said with a smile. He briefly laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck. I could tell he was nervous but I didn't know why. I folded my arms across my chest, waiting for him to continue.

"I know. Um, I don't want to make you uncomfortable by taking things too fast but lately I've been thinking a lot. I've never met a girl like you and I know that I would hate myself if I let you go." Suddenly, Alex reached into the pocket of his black jacket. He pulled out a rectangular black box. My eyes widened and my breath got caught in my throat. "What I'm trying to say is that I want you to be mine, Charli." He opened the box to reveal a necklace with a C shaped pendant on it. I opened my mouth to speak but I was stumped. What the hell was I supposed to say? I started to think that getting involved with Alex was a bad idea. Lord knew that I wasn't ready for a relationship. Especially with all the shit going on in my life.

"Look, Alex, I do-" I was ready to turn him down when my cell phone rang. I silently thanked God for saving me by the bell. I quickly grabbed my phone from my pocket. The caller ID read, Mama. "Just a second." I told Alex. He nodded his head, agreeing to hold out. "Hello?" I answered. I immediately heard heavy sobbing. "Mama, what's the matter?"

"T-they killed my baby!" She choked out. I was barely able to understand a word she said. My heart pounded against my chest. I couldn't have heard that correctly.

"What are you talking about?" There was a severity to my tone as my hand began to tremble. I silently prayed that she wasn't calling to tell me what I think she was telling me. But she was.

"They shot Derrick!" She finally said, her sobs getting harder and harder. My jaw fell open after my phone slipped out of my hand and onto the concrete floor. My vision started to blur as tears poured out of my eyes. I let out a horrifying cry as I fell to my knees. I had never felt so much pain in my life. My little brother, the one I tried so hard to protect was gone.

I could hardly breath in between my screams and cries. It was like someone was strangling me and in the moment I almost wish someone was. How could I live with myself knowing that I could have done more to prevent this? Instead, I let Eli drag him into his fucked up lifestyle.

I cried so hard that I almost didn't notice Alex kneeling beside me. His hand was on my back,p as he tried to comfort me. No matter what anyone said, nothing would heal the permanent wound in my heart. I angrily pushed his hand off of me and stomped toward the steps leading out. I could hear him chasing after me.

"Charli! What happened?" He asked urgently. But I didn't stop; I couldn't. So I ran. I ran all the way down the stairs and out of the building. I ran down the streets of New York City without a destination. I didn't know where I was going but I needed to get somewhere.

Omg, Derrick is dead?! Comment for the next chapter, loves.