Should I Stay?

Dance, Dance

DAN POV~

And again, I couldn't seem to sleep. I could never sleep anymore. The constant bad thoughts kept me tossing and turning for hours at night, and even a bit of Muse or Fall Out Boy couldn't stop them from running round my head.

            He'd been in his room for way longer than the camera had been running. We always edited our videos with the other watching. We said it was so we could give each other tips, but really, what neither of us said, was that we valued the other's opinion above anyone else's, and we just wanted to spend time with each other.

            The house was freezing. I laughed to myself. It matched my mood. But it was not great for going to sleep. I curled up, trying to keep myself warm but the temperature seemed to shrink quickly. More than anything I craved a coffee, but I knew I'd never sleep due to the caffeine, which I was always really affected by.

            Ah, fuck it, I decided, and threw the duvet off me, hissing at the cold air. I padded through the house before reaching the kitchen, careful not to walk into the glass door like Phil always does.

            Both of us were pretty nocturnal, so the fact that Phil had only started to film a video at 11 and was still 'editing' at 3, and I was walking around, didn't surprise me. I listening to the moan of our dying coffee machine as it pierced the capsules and with a hiss let out a stream off lumpy coffee. I sipped at it, gagging at the huge lumps in it, but deciding that I would have to bear it.

            I gulped it down in a few huge mouthfuls and left it on the side. I paced up and down the kitchen, wondering what there was to do at 3 in the morning apart from browse Tumblr, but nothing came to mind so I grabbed my computer and wandered into the living room.

            I went to plug in headphones but I heard a noise. I shut the lid and listened. And again. It sounded like... sobs.

            I quietly followed the noise, and arrived at Phil's door. I pressed my ear to the side and heard a huge sob and sniffs. I pushed open the door slowly, thankful that the house wasn't new so the doors didn't creak, and shut it quietly behind me. Phil was lying on his bed, fully dressed, with his back facing me. I crept up and softly sat down on the bed.

            Startled, he sprang upright and stared at me.

            "Dan, what are you doing?" He croaked, trying to subtly wipe the tears off his face. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and ran his other hand through his fringe. He looked a mess.

            "I heard you crying," I admitted.

            "I wasn't crying."

            "I don't believe you," I said, looking at his raw eyes and messed up hair.

            "Well, I wasn't. You must be hearing things." He'd always been a bad liar.

            "Phil, you know I know when you're lying."

            "Ok, ok. Fine. I was crying. Happy now?" He glared at me.

            "No. The complete opposite. I hate it when you're sad. What's wrong?"

            "Doesn't matter."

            "Phil, tell me."

            "No."

            "Please."

            "Fine. If you really want to know, I'm moving to America because I'm in love with my straight best friend and I have been since I met him and I can't deal with the pain of knowing he will never love me back anymore. And now he hates me because I kissed him and he thinks I'm disgusting and will probably be happy to see me go, and he has no idea how much I'm going to miss him and how this move is breaking me apart."

PHIL POV~

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit.

            What did I just do?

            I just told him I loved him.

            I looked up. He looked shocked.

            "Just leave, Dan." I forced the words out, trying not to break down.

            Instead, he moved up the bed so he was sitting next to me, looking me in the eyes.

            I looked down, but felt his hands around my head, and suddenly, he pulled me towards him and pressed his lips to mine. I kissed back. For once, I could not taste alcohol on his breath, or have to fear rejection, so I allowed myself to melt into the kiss. It was sweet, and innocent, and there was no passion behind it, no tongues, just love.

            I pulled back.

            "What does this mean?" I asked, suddenly nervous. "Why did you kiss me?"

            "Because I love you, Phil. I always have. But I didn't realise it until you said you were leaving. It hit me how much I rely on you, how much I need you. And how much I am in love with you." He looked straight into my eyes and I gazed back, getting lost in the gorgeous, melting chocolate brown of them.

            "Why didn't you say anything?"

            "Because when you told me you seemed to just brush it off. And then yesterday I tried to talk to you but you wouldn't talk, and I was going to today but you ran off. I was trying to find the right time."

            "Oh Dan..." I couldn't think of what to say, but I didn't need to, because Dan kissed me again.

            This time it was more heated. It started off slowly but soon it began to get more passionate. He tangled his fingers in my hair, pulling me even closer and I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck. He traced my lips with his tongue, asking for entry, and I granted it, feeling his tongue enter my mouth. I pulled away and kissed his neck, feeling him go weak under my arms. I continued to suck, and as I pulled back I noticed a red and purple mark was beginning to form.

            I touched it lightly. "Sorry," I mumbled.

            He pulled me back onto his lips. "I... don't... care..." He whispered between kisses. I took the opportunity to flip us over so I was lying on top of him. I pulled the bottom of his shirt and looked up at him, asking for permission, and he responded by reaching up and undoing the buttons on my shirt. I took that as a yes and yanked it over his head before throwing it across the room and not caring that it knocked over a plant that only a few days ago I had been boasting about how big it was.

            I traced the lines on his chest, and pulled away. I couldn't do this. Not yet. For now, I just wanted to be in his arms, finally. Sighing, I curled up against him, his chin resting on my head.

            "I love you, Dan," I whispered, closing my eyes. I could feel him breath 'I love you too" , and we both fell asleep, finally content.

A/N

Hey guys!
So I originally posted this with smut in, but I thought that it seemed kinda forced and I didn't want to rush into it... So I've changed it! Maybe later on... :)
If you've taken the time to read this thanks so much- you literally have no idea what it means! So far I have 6 views... So thanks to you 6! :DDD
Love you guys xxx