Bullets // C.D.

• 4 •

today was her funeral. i might not live.
I straighted my hair and put on light makeup, being sure it was all water proof.
after all that looked nice, i put on a black dress with a diamond cut out on the back and over the shoulder sleeves.
i quickly put on my white converse and headed out, grabbing my phone and over the shoulder bag.
mom met me right as i got to the door.
"ready?" she asked.
"yeah," i sighed. we went into the car and drove to the ceremony.
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"thank you for gathering here today. we are here to celebrate the life of Ariel Thomas Johnson. her death was a very very tragic, murder," the preacher spoke. i trailed off and wiped my tears with the napkins i put in my bag before i left. i wasnt going to listen. i can handle it. I started looking around the room. i saw all her family, of course. i saw the dance team, some random people from school i guess she knew, and I noticed that there was some boy next to her brother jack.
he had a brown quiff and was wearing a navy button up with black kaki shorts. blavy i thought in my mind.
he was on his phone, looking bored.
it disgusted me.
i focused my eyes on ariels casket. my eyes watered up again as i put the back of my hand over my
face. trying to control my breathing, as it had just increased. i breathed with great difficulty for about 5 minutes. i took my hand away and looked around. i was having a panic attack. I decided to leave until i could calm down. luckily it was near the end.
i exited and went outside to the summer air and sat on the curb. after i got calmed down however, i bawled my eyes out. absolutely sobbed for as long as i can remember, apparently the rest of the service bc people started to leave. i kept my face hidden in my hands as i felt some one sit beside me and hugged me.
"itll be ok sweetie," i heard a familiar mrs. smith say. she held on for a bit longer and i took my palms away and hugged her too.
"thanks," i said trying to wipe my tears after letting go.
"anytime sweetheart. you have a ride right?"
"yeah. i do," i said. i forced a smile and she smiled back.
"take care," she said as she got back up and left.
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it was starting to getting dark now. i guess mom was talking inside or helping clean up. stood up and paced around.
there was a whole building of people feeling sorrow and loss in there. people who were hurting. and its all my fault!
"MY DAMN FAULT!" i yelled amd kicked the tree.
"feisty," i heard a voice say.
i turned around and saw bored boy smirking at me.
"can you please leave," i rolled my eyes. it was definitely visible in my voice that i had been crying.
"no. im bored in there so jack told me to wait around here,"
"so your with jack?" i asked.
"yeah, hes my best friend,"
"who the hell even are you?"
"cameron dallas,"
"ok 'cameron dallas' why show up if you just going to play on your phone the whole time huh? think your cool?" i demanded.
"well jack wanted my support an-"
"-and you didnt give it to him you tool. dont talk to me, you disgust me," i said, not even noticing the tears streaming down my face.
"woah woah woah! get your panties out of a wad! of course i gave him support,"
"seems like it," I mumbled.
before i knew what was happening, he had took both his hands under my face and kissed me. I immediately shoved him off and pushed him into the tree.
"WHAT THE FUCK? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU AND EVEN BIGGER DOUCHE THAN I THOUGHT! DONT EVER TOUCH ME!" I screamed. i was appalled, disgusted and shocked.
why would he do that?
i grabbed my bag and ran off to the car. it wasn't unlocked but i dont care. i sat by the car and waited for mom.