Control

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Josh's POV

I can control this. We are friends and that's it. If I keep telling myself that then I'll be okay. No one will know. Lauren wants to hang out today and I said yeah. I'm not sure if that's the best decision, but I also knew that if I said no she would be even more confused because I always hang out with her when she asks. If she felt the same about me I wouldn't be pushing this down. But I could tell that she didn't have the same feelings I did. I've seen the way she looked at Shane and she didn't look at me like that. I looked down at my phone to see a text from her.

L- So do you have any more awesome places you go to that I should know about?
J- Too many! You'd have to hang out with me forever to get to them all
L- Okay well get over here and let's go somewhere! Start showing me. I want to know all the best places.
J- Alright adventures on starting now! I'm on my way over

Lauren's POV

I saw Josh pull up and told Christina and Kath that I was leaving and that I'd be back later tonight. I got in Josh's car and I looked down at his phone laughing at the fact that he was listening to Taylor Swift.

Josh- "If you hate on Taylor Swift next I am leaving you behind right now!"
Lauren- "No I love her I'm just surprised you're listening to her! Hahahaha"
Josh- "This is my biggest crush! I've got to support my future wife."
Lauren- "You're future wife who doesn't know you exist? Hahahah"
Josh- "HEY it's gonna happen okay! I'm hopeful!"

Josh was a terrible singer but it was hilarious watching how into he got while he was singing. I plugged the AUX chord into my phone after the song had finished. I started playing a country playlist I had on my phone when Josh pulled off the road and started driving in this open grass field. He then pulled between these trees and there was this amazing creek (see pic above). I started laughing in shock.
He pulled in so that the bed of the truck was facing the creek so we could sit and relax while looking at it.

Lauren- " What the heck. How did you find this place?! It's amazing!"
Josh- "I went on a hike with Nina and Britt and we found this place and we stayed here for hours because we loved it."
Lauren- "You seriously know every amazing place to go."
Josh- "Its not to hard to find awesome places like this in Nashville. This is what some peoples back yard is like."

We got out of his car and went to sit in the bed of the trunk. I reached to turn up the music so we could hear it from outside of the car. We started talking about how I had been home schooled most of my life, so I didn't have a normal high school graduation to go to or prom or anything that most high schoolers do.

Josh- "Hey you never told me."
Lauren- "What are you talking about?"
Josh- "The other night, you said if I told you what I was most afraid of then you would tell me."
Lauren- "You still want to know?"
Josh- "Yeah I want to know more about you. Just like you wanted to know more about me."
Lauren- "It's kind of a fear and an insecurity I guess. In my family I've always been the really shy and quiet one. I've never put myself out there because I'm not outgoing in any way. So people always tend to like my sisters more. I know it sounds dumb but it sucks sometimes when guys always like my sisters but no one is ever interested in the real me. Like Shane or other guys that I've "talked" too... We talk for a little while and then they lose interest. There's always someone prettier or more fun than me. I'm just always second in line. I'm never anyone's first choice. One guy actually told me directly that I wasn't pretty enough and that he found someone better."

Josh scooted closer to me and looked in my eyes and I looked back into his.
His eyes were bright blue on the outer ring but they looked grey today. They were beautiful. He got my attention when he looked down with a surprised look and then back into my eyes.
Josh- "Lauren...If a guy isn't able to see how lucky they would be to have you, then they aren't worth it. You deserve so much better then someone who treats you as second best. You might feel like there are girls out there that are "prettier" or "more fun" than you... But someday you'll end up with someone who sees you as the best thing that could happen in their life... I know it might not be worth much, but I think you're beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you. Some guys are just to stupid to realize what's right in front of them."

The way he looked at me when he said it was like he actually meant it. It didn't feel like he said it because he wanted to make me feel better but because he believed it. No one's ever talked to me the way Josh had. 

Lauren- "I don't know Josh. I don't know if I've met anyone that would treat me like that."

Josh's POV

.... I would.

That's all I could think. It only took 2 hours for me to lose all control. When I looked at her I just wanted to tell her how well she could be treated and how beautiful she really is. I just don't know how to say that to her. It could destroy the friendship that we've built these last few months. And I'm not ready to lose her because I have feelings that she doesn't share.

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