More Than Friends (Lauren Cimorelli fanfic)

Avoiding Feelings

Fast Forward 1 month...

Josh's POV

I'm over at Lauren's and her family has actually been really cool about us dating. Even Christina has lightened up a little bit and we joke around more. I've spent a lot more time there so I'm getting closer with her family and Lauren's getting closer with mine. Today they're rehearsing for tour. They're gonna be gone for 2 weeks which isn't to bad considering some artists aren't home for months at a time.
It's been almost 2 years since my dad died and it was coming up when they were going to be gone. I was thankful that they weren't going to be around. It's still hard for my family to deal with especially for my mom and Jacy. Well at least they show that the struggle with it the most.
I'm probably going to stay with Natalie that day because she's the only one that truly gets it. My whole family dealt with that loss but me and Natalie were the only 2 that saw my dad die. We both remember seeing Jacy lying there lifeless on the floor while she was wheezing for breath.
So when I say she's the only one who gets it. That's why. The rest of my family knows the hurt that we felt about losing my dad but they don't have to remember it like we did. I know that Natalie is the only one in my family that I'll ever talk to about it because we don't want to put that burden on them. That's the reason me and Natalie are so close. I feel like when you go through a really sucky time with the people around you, you can either push them away or trust them enough to deal with it together.
Usually when it gets close to this time I push people away because I don't want to talk about it. That's one of the main reasons I was going to go over to Natalie's. She would let me talk when I wanted to but she wouldn't push me to talk about it. Probably because she didn't want to talk about it much either. My other older sisters think that forcing it out of me is the only way to get me to talk about. But I hate talking about it. If it was my choice, I would never even want to think about it.
At least since Lauren is going to be on tour I won't be avoiding her, I'll just be avoiding the subject. Which at this point I've gotten pretty good at.
Hopefully I'm better at avoiding the subject than Lauren is at reading how I'm feeling. Cause I'm pretty aware that's what I suck most at, talking about feelings.
The girls had finished up rehearsing for today so we all went out to go get food. They leave next week. 4 days before the anniversary of the accident. 
They all talked about how excited they were to go meet new fans and play new music. But dani was just excited that her light up shoes shipped in before she left. Yes... Light up shoes.

Lauren's POV

I was out to eat with my family and Josh when we started talking about the tour. I was so excited to go play shows again but I knew that Josh had a hard day coming up after we left. I felt bad that I wasn't going to be there for him. I can tell he hates to talk about it but I won't even be around to get him out of the house to go do something fun and cheer him up. I just don't understand why he doesn't talk about it, especially when it's something like this. Something so important in his life. I leaned in so I could whispered to him.

Lauren- "I know we're going to be on tour but I'm always here to talk when you need me. You know that right? Whatever you tell me stays between us."
Josh- " Yeah I know. You're only gone for 2 weeks. Don't worry we'll talk all the time."

The thing is i wasn't worried about not talking. I knew we would talk. I was worried about what he was already doing. Avoiding talking about anything that makes him feel. He just pushes it aside and ignores what he's feeling, but if he keeps doing that he's going to break down. Everyone has a breaking point, and his is going to come if he stays closed off.