Anxiety

137.

Learning that my feelings are visitors,
Welcoming each in, enjoying some, degraded by others
Learning that just as humans, if you invite it's opposite in, it will go away, it will lift away, transcend,
it does something else.
Feelings such as depression, doubt, worry, grief, sadness, loneliness cant stand one.
One action can send them running out the door, and that is laughter.
Laughter brings friends such as joy, hope, optimism, thanksgiving and love.
Sometimes you have to force yourself to actually find something to laugh at, because depression grows stronger with laziness, it's created counterpart.
Whether it be a comedy, yourself, a friend, a memory, find something to make you laugh.
We don't like to take responsibility for whom we let linger for too long.
For those suffering at the hands of depression, I am empathetic, it frequents my human.
It is not the same as our ego,
It attacks the ego.
As a spirit, living a human experience my ego cannot completely be an enemy, it is giving me a human experience.
Therefore to help transcend my ego, I will fight to protect it from being devoured by the darkness of depression.
The anxiety that had settled in my being, that I had identified with caused me to be confused. I acted as that feeling and now I have to patiently wait for those hurt by that, to truly forgive me, to see that the person, the whole person, human and spirit dwelling as one, is not the enemy whom attacked out of pain.
I no longer identify with my pain body for lengthy amounts of times.
Journaling, painting, poetry, meditation is how I've learned to cope.
I can find my soul there, and I take it's advice.
I have to believe that if everyone involved truly loved me and we have the connection that I truly believe in. The belief that unconditional love lies at all of our core essence.
They will see me, they will know me, they will forgive me, they will love me again, all of them.