Chapter 5

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Jace stood watching a younger version of himself stand before Valentine with a worried expression. Valentine held a whipe in one hand with his arms crossed, looking eerily calm like he always did when he was angry, "What did I tell you Jonathan?" he asked gazing down at him, "the restricted part of the library is off limits to you. You know that."

"I-I'm sorry, I won't d-do it again! Promise!" he stuttered a quiet response, "I-I heard noises so I went to g-go see and it came from in th-there. I thought something might've happened to y-you!"

"That's nice, but don't go prowling where you're not allowed! You know your punishment, now turn around."

Jace remembered this quite clearly, but he no longer feared it, so why was he dreaming this? This was probably his fourth or fifth whipping in his life, still hating the feel and bursting into tears which only brought more lashes for he had to learn not to feel the pain but the discipline. He turned slowly and got onto his hands and knees, small tears dropped to the floor off his cheeks. "This is for your own good Lightwood." Lightwood?

Slowly Valentine became younger and his face changed slightly with each whip slash turning into Sebastian. He gasped in realisation, looking back at what was himself, was now Alec with a scrunched up face trying to hold back tears, his weakness trying to leak through. "NO!" Jace screamed and ran for him when they disappeared in a puff of smoke.

He sat bolt upright trying to catch his breath. He looked at his shoulder and could feel it pounding, this meant something with your parabatai was terribly wrong or they were in trouble. "Jace?" Clary whispered from beside him with a yawn, "what's wrong?"

"My parabatai rune.....hurts like a bitch." he swallowed deeply getting air back through his lungs, "something's wrong. We have to find him."

"Babe," Clary turned to face him with a small whimper, "we will okay? Don't worry, he'll be fine, everything will work out okay." She clutched her head, "oooooow. I hate my mom! And the weather recently, plus when was the institute last cleaned?" she sneezed and stuffed her face in the pillow.

"I'll go get you a couple tablets, stay here."

"Wasn't thinking of leaving." she grumbled into the pillow which made Jace huff. Ill women are more annoying that ones that rant on a first date.

Leaving his room he stretched like a cat against the wall, "JACE." A voice shouted from behind, he turned to see an angry Jocelyn running towards him, "WHERE IS CLARY?"

He stared in confusion, "Um-in there." He pointed towards his door, "she doesn't want to see you if that's what you want. She's ill and just needs to rest, blames you partly."

"It's your fault! This institute is covered in dust, being cooped up in here instead of outside and also going out in the previous cold and windy weather could get anyone sick. Said she was with you."

"My fault? I don't even know what I've done for you to hate me. I found her crying in her room screaming how angry she was with you, when it was quiet I went in and found she had cried herself to sleep, literally. So to make sure you couldn't find her I brought her to my room where I fell asleep with her in my, as she calls, 'loving and caring arms', so explain that."

By now she was fuming, in Jace's opinion her over-reactive level was way too high and was easy to detonate. "I'M SEEING HER AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME! AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HER!"

"It's my room. You can't ban me from my own room, you don't live here, nor are you related to me. Now don't hurt her while I get her some paracetamol."

"You will pay for this Jonathan Herondale." and she walked into his room slamming the door shut making Jace wince. If she hurt Clary again...... "CLARISSA ADELE MORGENSTERN WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT?"

Jace felt sad that he was walking away instead of running back and defending her. In the kitchen he took a mango out the fruit bowl and bit into it, bit tough since it was so large but after he knew what they looked like whole after shopping with Simon, he bought them ocassionally and ate them before anyone could chop it; cookies to. He took out the medicine box and searched for the paracetamol which shouldn't have been hard since most of their injuries were iratze fixable. The mango juice was dripping on some boxes making the cardboard crinkle ruining the 'lovely' designs on the front, then right at the bottom was the some paracetamol. He finished the mango and made a glass of water, gulped it down, then another one for Clary.

His room was quiet when he returned, he nudged the door open and found it empty; sighing in frustration, he started towards her room when the sound of throwing up was heard in the bathroom next to him. "Clary?"

"Go away Jace!" Jocelyn shouted, he ignored her.

He walked in and set the tablets and water down, "I'll take over Jocelyn. Thanks for the help," his setence drenched in sarcasm, "you've done enough."

"No! You leave! She's my daughter!"

"Mom, let him stay and you-" she paused to throw up again, "go. Leave." throwing up again.

She huffed and stormed out and tried to push Jace but he didn't move an inch just infuriating her more. Jace rushed over and held Clary's hand while the other stroked her back lovingly while she continued to bring up everything she'd even eaten. "Thank you." she whispered when she was done, wiping her mouth with toilet paper and flushing, "for getting rid of her and not being repulsed at the sight of me."

"Nothing is repulsive about you," he kissed the top of her head and handed her the water and paracetomal, "here."

She swallowed and gave a distgusted look, then drank the water with the same expression. "Sick tastes better than this..." she tried to get up but Jace stopped her.

"I'll carry you." He scooped her up like earlier and noticed her red cheek again, "she slapped you again?" he got no response because she had fallen asleep within those matter of seconds.

He smiled to himself at her innocence, on the outside she was a shy and scared little red haired girl but inside was a beast, when during a fight or if she was angry it would be unleashed, her bite was worse than her bark if she tried. That's what he loved about her, she was a book, never judge her by her cover.

~*~

"This map really helps. We should start with these three locations, Pirmasens, Saarlouis and Perl where Jace has already been. Saarlouis is closest to Idris so I say check there first. So who's going and when?" Magnus said feeling proud.

"Well if we're going soon Clary can't go because she is ill at the moment but you should go Magnus, your magic would come to great help for Sebastian controls magic it seems now along with who knows what else. But you alone is a bad idea..." Maryse said with a very thoughtful tone, "Isabelle? Would you go?"

"Sure. Why not, but only if Clary can't. I'll just be a reserve."

"Okaaay then. So when will we go?" Magnus inquired trying to keep down the excitement inside him, "Before the battle or during? If we go before he could be more dangerous but during battle all his forces will be fighting, I doubt he will join. It will be him and a few demons and faeries behind to guard his little hidey hole."

This got everyone thinking for a while, the silence wasn't awkward anymore after being in it for so long each day for the past couple weeks. Suddenly the door burst open and Jace came in holding something, "Everyone listen!' he was panting, "another...letter arrived." Luke's eyes went wide along with everyone else, then his attention fixed on Jocelyn who peeked through the door as relief flooded over her; must've been lost.

"I'll read it." Maryse stated harshly so no-one would object, "Dear fellow nephilim,

Weren't expecting another letter were you? Well, you're not the brightest bunch I admit but a little status update on everything, yes that includes Alec, plus a little extra twist at the end. This letter won't be particularly long because I have business to do in Germany-I know that you know that I'm in Germany- and with Alec when I return. He's sleeping more than usual, not a good thing because I don't want him passing out on me before battle! I mean really it's just a little bit of-never mind. He'll tell you if he's sane enough.

About the battle. As you know you have four days and four days only to gather the biggest army you can possibly get from the Clave. Sure you have Lucian to gather the werwolves and perhaps you can get Raphael to help you again but the Clave? And what about warlocks, perhaps Magnus can get them but only some, they're very stubborn creatures... I won't be there to fight, sad right? The faeries shall be there and Lucius shall be leading them while I'm sure some of you will come find me. Unless you try earlier which I suggest you don't.

Now onto Alec, he's not doing too good, from your point of view. When you eventually get him he may be slighty...traumatized shall we say? He kept the strong guy act up for about a week and the occasional day but now he's all mine. I did something yesterday which I shall do again today and everyday until the battle if he doesn't pass out on me. Perhaps I should allow him one iratze....what do you say? Nah, my stele. Still in the same conditions, the Magnus section of the last section gives a pretty good description if you happen to have forgotten. Is Jace getting dreams? I notice sometimes Alec at night writhes around on the floor screaming his name and his parabatai rune is what, glowing? I find it amusing and for Jace it would be, as he says, 'hurting like a bitch'.

I don't plan on surrenduring but if you happen to find me on the day of battle before you make yourselves extinct, I have a mischievous plan some of you may not like. But, if I told you know I wouldn't be able to see your shocked expressions or the thoughtful ones as I say what it takes to get Alec back to you, slightly traumatised but nonetheless at least I haven't killed him; surely you must be thanking me for at least that?

Oh and that little twist I mentioned. I have predicted three places you assume I was in, I'm not smart enough to know who assumed them but I do know that they are Parmesans, Saarlouis and Perl. Am I right? I know I am. Something, in your institute has been a little bit of a spy. And it is in the room with you right now. That's right I see you standing there are all day long talking. I'm probably watching you read this letter aloud or seperately to yourselves!

Ta ta,

Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern."

Everyone stood in silence and shock. There was object somewhere, with a little camera watching them. Sebastian knew everything, their plans, their reactions to everything including their expressions. "Lets go to an empty bedroom near the back of the institute. We'll be safer and more secret there." Jace said quietly but everyone heard him crystal clear.

"I'm going to leave with Jocelyn." Luke said as they left the room, "I have to inform the uh- packs and I can see she's causing a bit of trouble with poor Clary who is now sick and hurling everywhere."

Jace breathed a sigh of relief knowing that horrible woman Clary was forced to call her mother. Poor Clary, she couldn't have a worse family; Sebastian for a mother, Valentine for a father and now Jocelyn is turning on her against him with some grudge she won't explain since to her it seems so self-explanatory. They disappeared down a different corridor while the others continued to an empty corridor where no-one had their room. "I'm going to check on Clary in her room." Jace murmured before turning away.

"I have a client booked." Magnus also murmured before leaving leaving just Izzy and Maryse.

"See if dad wants to talk, I'm going to meet up with Simon." Izzy murmured, 'back later, I think we all just. Need some time to think this through. I'm sorry mom to leave you like this but this institute is beginning to feel like a cage that I cannot escape. I haven't left in the past what, three weeks? It's suffocating me from the inside out!" and she ran off.

Maryse watched in sadness realising how alone she was, with Robert in Idris 'working' instead of being home helping with the institute where he doesn't want to stay because it reminds him of Max and realises there is no-one to carry on the Lightwood name therefore finding it hard to even be in the same room as Alec who wishes he could change the way he feels so his father didn't think he was some sort of failure! "I should really just divorce you Robert." Maryse whispered to herself with a sigh, "you're never home and hate your own son. What kind of father does that make you?"

~*~

Alec felt horrible and violated. Why would Sebastian do that? It was disgusting and the whole time Sebastian kept making comments on Magnus which just made what he was doing even more repulsive. He'd been sitting hunched in the corner all day since moving 'hurt like a bitch' as Jace would say. He blames Sebastian and the two stamina runes he put on, then of course the injuries that wouldn't heal all over his joints so cuts would open if he bent his knee too far, straightened out his arm crunching the scabs on his elbows. At some point he had thought of holding onto the bars of the cell and just taking a slow and painful suicide. It would end everything else but then all his efforts, his family's efforts -and Sebastian's though he didn't care- would all be put to waste. The guilt in the afterlife if there was one would haunt him for the rest of eternity.

He glanced at his ankle, it had a numb feeling once he had woken up after passing out from the extreme burn. He found out who the trade was and was definitely certain of who it was. But the question was, why did Sebastian care so much? He was pretty sure an iratze wouldn't fix any of his demon scars or the shackle, why did everything have to be demonic? Sebastian had no mercy, although that was probably going to change it seems. Was he seriously starting to get feelings for this trade person? Why? Maybe his demon was slowly disappearing and he could be a normal person who perhaps kind and loving like when he impersonated the real Sebastian. Damn he hurt all over.

He wondered when Sebastian would be back, he actually missed his company slightly. Sure there were demons everywhere prowling the place, leaving their horrible scent everywhere which was a mix of rubbish, crap and hot sick; he'd thrown up whenever one walked past when he first finished fighting one but over the years he got used to it. Except now it was intensified but again, he got used to it. Speak of the devil, here he was standing in front of him, "Shall we go for round two Lightwood?" Alec suddenly regretted everything he just thought, he missed the taunting but not...this!

-*-Warning: some sexual content -*-

Sebastian pounced on Alec making him scream at all his joints moving and his scabs crushing, wounds re-opening. "Please Sebastian stop!" He begged as he kissed along his jaw and down his neck biting the soft spot he thought only Magnus knew of, "stop! Stop! I'll do anything!" He began crying at the pain and disgust he felt.

His hands began exploring, "Not any time soon...." He paused and moved his lips to his ear, "sweet pea."

Alec screamed and lifted his hurting hands to cover his face. Only Magnus called him that! Only once and said he hated it, but really, he thought it was adorable and absolutely loved it. By now Sebastian was nipping his neck and feeling around his shaft with his hand, Alec moaned but regretted it since doing that only encouraged Sebastian. Alec hated the feeling but his body said different which just scared him; he felt like a whore, not putting up a fight. This was rape! "No...no! Stop!" Alec pleaded with all his heart as Sebastian removed their trousers and boxers. "please no! Not again please!"

Sebastian laughed turning him over. "Now now Alec, you seem to be loving this. Why on earth should I stop?" He slid in slowly.

"STOP!" tears flowed down his cheeks, "IF YOU CARE SEBASTIAN YOU'LL STOP! DO YOU HAVE NO MERCY DEMON?" Sebastian enraged and began to pound making Alec curl up and claw at the ground.

"Damn Alec." Sebastian murmured, "you tight. Thought Magnus might've stretched you by now."

"FUCK YOU!" Alec cried out in pain, Magnus was gentle unless Alec sometimes had to beg him but Sebastian was just cruel. He felt like a triangle.

"Um. Sir?" Came a rough and deep voice from outside the cell.

It was a shax demon, "What is it?" Sebastian asked with impatience.

"Lucifer is asking about the items you are collecting and when you are going to leave because urgent business has come up in the underworld."

"Can't he wait?"

The demon shook his head, "Tell him he can go and I'll wait for him to get back. I'm a little busy if you haven't noticed." The demon hissed at him and walked away, "stupid demons!" he punched Alec in the face to release his anger, "now where were we sweet pea?" Alec whimpered.

He continued pounding painfully until Alec couldn't take much more and his body filled with unwanted pleasure bringing him higher and higher, right to the top of his cliff. He bit into his hand to stay quiet drawing a bit of blood from where sharp corners had cut through the skin, he was so close and then it would be over. But would he just return the next day? Probably. "Come for me sweet pea." And Alec did so, screaming into his hand and crying, "who's a good boy?" Sebastian kissed his shoulder and pulled out making Alec wince.

He heard him do up his belt buckle and zip, then his footsteps disappearing down the hallway. Alec was fully crying, again, just like yesterday when Sebastian had left without a word and left him there to suffer. He couldn't take it anymore, he pulled himself across the floor, after doing up his trousers again of course, he looked left and right as far as he could for anyone. He took a deep breath and looked at the bars, he lifted his hands shakily, and grabbed on letting out an ear piercing screech.

~*~

Izzy sat on the park bench playing with her fingers and making shadows on the ground by her feet. "Hey." She looked up to see Simon smiling at her, "you rang?" he chuckled and sat next to her.

"Oh Simon." she breathed and grabbed him into one of her hugs, "I've missed you."

"Ha ha I've missed you to Izzy, now what's wrong? You don't look healthy, nor do you sound very happy."

"It's Alec. Sebastian took him and Jace, Clary, mom, Magnus have been at the institute for the past two weeks trying to track him; he sent three letters and Alec isn't doing too good. Luke and Jocelyn came over earlier and she got into a fight with Clary over something, now Clary has what sounds like the flu then the third letter arrived and it turns out Sebastian has been watching us! Then Luke and Jocelyn left, then Magnus left and I left to, Jace is with Clary and I left mom all alone. I feel so guilty because she has no-one to comfort her at home. Jace and Clary have each other, I have you, I guess she has what, Church? Lucky to have that grumpy pile of fur around her begging for food."

Simon returned her hug with a tight squeeze, "I had no idea. I've been lonely to y'know, Maia is busy doing....things with Jordan back at the apartment so I stay at Eric's a lot so I practice band of course and we do gigs but apart from that. But I can't complain, you couldn't be in a worse situation."

"And" she choked back a sob, "I think mom will actually divorce my dad. I mean, he-he never comes home, he can't stand being in the same room as Alec when he's forced to, he'll never be in it willingly so they really only see each other at meetings and all they do is share glances; when he talks to us he goes off and stands in the corner with his shoulders slumped and I can tell how watery his eyes are."

"I know how he feels. My mom can't accept me being a vampire, but I guess I have Rebecca and you guys. So Alec has you, his mom accepts him and so does his very beautiful sister."

Isabelle chuckled lightly and gave him a peck on the lips, "I just want him home and it all to be over, but to do that Sebastian wants to trade something or someone in return, says we won't like it but it's either that or he keeps Alec and we keep fighting battle until we win or make ourselves extinct."

Simon sat in silence and stroked her back while she cried silently into his shirt making it damp. Izzy never cried, she was always a strong shadowhunter until everything went downhill as soon as Valentine and family came into their lives. Izzy liked Clary and all but she couldn't help but have a grudge against her and the rest of her family, Luke didn't count since he was kind of originally Graymark but Valentine, Jocelyn, Sebastian and Clary are all just walking curses to her. "Simon..."

"Yeah babe?" He kissed the top of her head.

"Why do you like Clary so much?"

He hesitated, "W-why do you ask?"

"Just curious....I've just been thinking that's all, brain in a muddle and all."

"Well, she's cute, funny, very quaint and I've known her since we were extremely tiny. We've lived in the same houses all these years until now of course so we lived close, went to the same school and hung out together as the sort of out casts of school, no-one liked us much so we only had each other. So of course over time, being a guy going through puberty grew feelings for her because we were so close and thought we were destined to be together then everything changed... Jace came into her life after saving it numerous times, then at the Dumont she saved me which gave me hope but then I got the friendzone. Then her and Jace were 'siblings' so I was slightly happy at that then we were dating and I couldn't be happier whether I was a vampire and stopped aging at 17 I didn't care, I was dating the girl I'd had a crush on for years. But for some reason.... I broke it off, I knew she still had feelings for Jace no matter what and I couldn't love someone who didn't love me as much as I did. Then I realised how much I cared for you, of course I've thought you were super hot since I first met you as you could probably have told, you know the rest of our story."

She felt guilty now. "Oh." was all she said before staring at her fingers she kept fiddling with.

"Now, you tell me what you've been thinking, why are you thinking about Clary?"

This got her in a dilemma. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but she didn't want to lie to him; but lying then him somehow finding out the truth would just make it worse, so she told the truth. "Not just Clary, her whole family. Her real family. I just- think they were all walking curses. Valentine tried to change the shadowhunters so he could rule us, Jocelyn isn't exactly useful is she? She hasn't done much and gave birth to the demon spawn that is Sebastian who is trying to make us extinct so he can breed his own dark race and Clary.... she's a walking disaster! She brings nightmares and trouble to everyone she meets, she doesn't think about her actions putting her life in danger when there could be a simply way to fix it. I mean Jace especially, he's the reason he is softer and more thoughtful over things, the reason I barely see him anymore, who got him killed twice. Alec, she took Jace away from him and they were parabatai, inseperable until they met. And me, she's destroying my family one by one just by being herself. I hate it!"

Simon released his hold on Izzy, "Simon I'm sorry, it was either tell you the truth or lie and just make it ten times worse when you did eventually find out and blame me for not telling you earlier! You put in a horrible position there."

"I'm sorry, being so close to Clary but I know how you feel, don't you think I have been hurt to? She spends all her time with Jace or in the training room so I rarely get to see her either. You're not alone in this so please just....stop acting like it. I know a lot is happening but I've just found it all from you in a matter of minutes!" He sighed, "I'm going to tell Raphael and see if he'll help in battle, may as well so Maryse doesn't have to. Check on Clary for me will you? Tell me how she is." and he walked away leaving Izzy crying on the park bench.

She was expecting this reaction, but not for him to just leave. She stood up and wiped away the tears with her cardigan and set off back to the institute slowly, she didn't want to see Clary at all, just talking about her made her realise how much she had a grudge. She still liked her as a person, they were good friends but deep down she did not like her at all; but she was doing it for Simon, he was worried about her even though she had been ignoring him quiet a lot so to him, she was special no matter what. It made her wonder if she was still that special to him in his eyes...

She loved him, but was she turning to him? Loving someone who doesn't love you back?

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