Addicted to the pain

Three

I frowned at the sight of my own blood. My hand was now bruising. But I didn't feel the pain. I just felt serenity. Don't ask me how. Because I'm not sure. The paramedics are now gone. Ella begged and screamed at them because they said she couldn't come. But the gave in and let her. Ella was always the one to go. Me and Gabriel could never handle seeing her like that. I never yelled at my mom when she got back from the hospital. I would just tell her it's fine. I would tell her that she could go to rehab and get better. But I knew it wasn't okay. I looked at the couch and Gabriel sat crying.

It always killed me to see my brother or sister in pain. I was older then them. I was supposed to protect them. I have been doing a lousy job. Tears brimmed my eyes threatening to spill. I tried to choke them back. But they fell. It felt like my throat was closing. I was struggling to get the air I needed. I fell to the ground. It wasn't because of my mom. It was because I had failed. I had one job it was to protect them.

But they had not been protected. Gabriel placed his hand on my back. I wiped my face. I tried to talk but it just came out as cries. He helped me up and sat me down on the couch. We sat in silence for awhile. Till I finally spoke. " I'm so sorry gabe. I haven't protected you. I have failed." He pulled me into a hug. "Sky you have responsibilities that most adults don't have. You are doing a great job." His words didn't change my thoughts. My phone had turned itself on. (It's pretty old) and an unknown caller was calling. I took a couple deep breaths then answered. "Hello?" I whispered my voice still a little shaky.

"Skylar?" A familiar voice asked. "Yes?" There was a pause. "It's Carson." I instantly smiled. But it's still creepy. How did he get my number? "Hey." There was another pause. "Okay bye." The line went silent. Officially the weirdest call of my life. I powered my phone off again. Gabriel looked at me. A smile spread on his face. "Does sky have a boyfriend?" I punched his arm. "I don't have time for that." I didn't feel like crying anymore. Gabe always had a way of making me feel better.

I went to my room. Our house was small. But we all had our own rooms. And for that I'm great-full. I grabbed my sketch book that my art teacher bought for me. She thought I had true talent and she didn't want it waisted. She was aware of my situation. All my teachers were. So they were always easier on me. That meant less homework. I was sketching a portrait of a random person. When something hit my window. I figured it was just a branch. But when it came again I saw the pebble fly. I stood up and ran to the window. I looked down and saw Carson. Is he a stalker? I opened my window.

I realized how bad my jet black hair must've looked. I brushed it aside. "Hey skylar" I smiled. "Hey are you a stalker or something?" He laughed. "It's not really stalking if I live across the street from you." My smile dropped he probably saw the paramedics..
"Oh." His arms wrapped around himself. "Well I will be going now." "Okay." He turned and ran off. I shut my window. I will never get used to people actually talking to me. I heard laughing coming from downstairs. I ran to see who was making the sound.

It was just Gabe watching tv. I'm way to worried all the time. It will be the death of me.