Addicted to the pain

Five

The rest of the ride was silent but not awkward. It was peaceful. We pulled up to the school faster than I would have liked. Carson stopped and got out immediately I quickly did the same. He ran from me like I was the plague. How could I have been that stupid! He would not want to be seen with me. I threw my bag over my shoulder and walked to class. I tried to push the thought of me being a loser to the back of my mind. But it wouldn't budge. I really needed to focus on class. I sat in the very back of the class like I did everyday.

I know everyone thinks that the people who sit in the back don't pay attention. But I do pay attention. I just don't sit in the front because I don't particularly like anyone. And I would like to avoid being spat on by the teacher. The bell rang and everyone ran in and took there seats. Halfway through class the thought came back up. Skylar is a loser. But it was louder than before. And a lot harder to ignore. I felt tears threaten to spill. I put my head on the desk. But it hit the desk a lot harder than I intended it too.

The whole class turned and looked at me. The tears were now gone. But they were replaced by my face turning as bright as a tomato. About ten minutes later people stopped looking I just wanted this day to be over. It has been 45 minutes and I am already fed up. The bell rang signaling everyone to leave. I stood up and jogged out of the room. The rest of the day's a blur.

*forward to work*

I had the ridiculous shirt Paul made us wear in his diner. I hated it. But he payed well so I didn't whine....well out loud. "Skylar you can be on cashier duty tonight."I ram to the cashier this was my favorite job. Because it was easiest. I handed people their receipts and gave them the debit machine. Some people spend outrageous amounts of money on food. There was one lady who bought six pies....full pies and ate them all. One lady! I could barely eat a piece of pie. I laughed at my weird train of thought. Someone tapped on my shoulder.

I turned it was Matthew one of the other workers. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. Was he nervous? He scratched his neck. Which I noticed he does often. "Uh skylar there's a party tonight. I was wondering if you would like to come with me?" His cheeks flushed. I felt so bad for him. It's not his fault that I can't go out. It's not that I don't want to. It that I can't. "I can't I'm sorry."  He frowned and quickly ran off. I put my head in my hands three minutes it's fine if I leave three minutes early. I put on my jacket.

And quickly left the diner. My mom should be home. And I have to make dinner. I ran home and was there in twenty minutes. "Sk--skylar." My mom was speaking in tongues. She was swaying back and forth. She was drunk. "You fucking stupid bitch!" She spat. She came closer to me. Vodka radiating off of her. "If it weren't for you he would be alive!" Tears slid down my face. I didn't blink them away I let them fall. She stepped closer and pushed me. I stumbled back but regained balance. Gabriel and Ella are sleeping by now I don't want to wake them up.

"It should be you in that grave! Not him! I loved him! I will never love you!" She walked to me. Her fists clenched at her sides. Tears slid down my face rapidly. Everything she was saying is true. It's everything I've been to scared to say. Her hand rose up and connected with my face. Pain spread through out my face. But mostly on my eye. She pushed me to the floor and kicked me. I screamed in agony. She has never taken it this far.

She kicked me again and again. I was crying and screaming for her to stop. I heard someone stomp down the stairs and start crying. I knew it was Ella. She wanted to believe mom was okay but she wasn't. Our drunken mother was still kicking me. I was wheezing. Struggling for air. "Gabriel!" I heard Ella scream through her tears. "Stop mom! What's wrong with you!" I heard him scream from the stairs. She looked back. But gave me one last blow to the face. I struggled to breathe. Well a salty metallic liquid spilt out of my mouth.

Gabriel grabbed her and shoved her aside. He knelt beside me. "Skylar!" He put my head in his lap. My eye that she punched was swelling shut. The room looked as if it was spinning. Someone ran through the front door. But there voices were drowned out. All I heard was ringing in my ears. Someone stood over me. I recognized him it was Carson. I still could barely breathe. My ribs ached. I would be bruised for  a long time. I began to grow more dizzy by the second. Black splotches appeared in my vision. Until it consumed me.