Teenage Memories

seven

I was at home alone on Tuesday night, eating Ben and Jerry's out of the tub and watching Dance Moms on Netflix. I was wearing one of Luke's tshirts that he had left behind at mine. It smells like him, and that makes me really sad. We haven't spoken since Saturday night.

I glanced up at the clock and it was gone 11, but I couldn't go to sleep yet because my parents were still at the pub. There was a knock at the door. I ignored it. And then another knock. And then continuous knocking.

"Alright, alright I'm coming!" I said, flinging open the door. My words caught in my throat as Luke was standing there. His hair was a mess and his eyes looked bloodshot. He was swaying slightly on the spot.

"I need to talk to you." He said sadly.
"I don't want to." I said, going to close the door. He stuck his foot in the gap to stop it from closing.
"Please?" He said, pushing it open.
"No." I said, I could feel more tears pricking in my eyes as I remembered the events from three nights ago.

"Please, I fucked up." He said, his voice cracking he looked at me. "I messed up so badly I've been going crazy these last few days without you." He said falling onto his knees and tears started spilling down his cheeks as he looked up at me.

"Please. Let me explain." He said, and I saw that he had a cut on his cheek. I opened the door, pulling him up and inside. He pulled me into a hug, and sobbed on my shoulder.

"Arzaylea texted me when I was in the bathroom sorting myself out and she said she wanted to talk to me." Luke began, tears still flowing out of his eyes as he stood dejectedly in my hallway.

"I went to go and talk to her, to tell her to leave me alone, to tell her that I like someone else. But she pulled me onto the dance floor, she kissed me and danced on me but I swear I didn't kiss back, I didn't dance on her Grace. I pulled away from the kiss." He said, his voice cracking again and he fell to his knees. I knelt down to his level. "I swear..." he sniffed, his eyes were red and puffy.

"Are you telling me the truth?" I said, cupping his face and looking into his eyes.
"Yes, and she made me go and lose you, the best fucking thing in my life. I looked for you for an hour after you left." He cried. "I'm sorry I'm so sorry I'm so so sorry." He said, putting his head on my shoulder.

"It's okay, let's go upstairs." I said softly, grabbing my water bottle off the living room table and turning the telly off. I guided him upstairs as he held my hand tightly. I took off his jacket and he stepped out of his jeans. He curled up underneath my duvet and I clicked my light off, pulling him close to me.

He pressed close to me, breathing heavily. I looked at him in the dim lights of my fairy lights. I stared into his eyes, they flicked down to my lips, my heart skipped a beat. And then he kissed me. Our lips brushed together softly at first, and then he pulled away, wide eyed.

"I'm sorry... I don't know if you're ready." He began.
"Luke..." I said, kissing him gently. "I've never been more ready."
His face relaxed into a smile, and then he drew me into another kiss, gentle and kind.

--

The morning after, I woke quickly with sunlight pouring through my window and Luke by my side. He was snuffling lightly in his sleep, one arm thrown across my middle. I kissed him gently on the lips, waking him up.

He opened his eyes slowly, smiling.
"I'm so happy to wake up to you."
"Luke... I'm trusting you so much with this. Please don't make me regret it."
"I won't I promise I fucking swear." He said, pressing his forehead to mine.

"Why do you have a cut on your face?" I asked and he put a hand up to his cheek.
"Oh. Michael punched me when I told him what happened." Luke said, rubbing his neck.

"That's Michael for you. Protective, as always." I laughed, gently brushing my finger across the cut.
Walking to school that day felt lighter than it had in days.

"You two are together then?" Michael said as we sat at the tree in the field at lunch. He had a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

"I could say the same about you and that death stick hanging out of your mouth." Luke teased. I was sat next to Luke with his arm around me.

"Thanks for punching him by the way Michael. I would have done it myself otherwise." I said, turning to Michael who smiled warmly at me. I always knew he had my back.

"Movie night tonight anyone?" I asked, scrolling on my phone.
"Yeah sure." Michael said, lighting up. These guys stayed around my house a lot. I was lucky to have such chill parents.

"What haven't we watched?" Luke asked, playing with my hair.
"I thought we could start Breaking Bad." Danni suggested.

"My mum bought us all matching bear onesies." I mentioned, remembering on Sunday when my mum came home with 7 fluffy multi-coloured onesies. Luke chuckled lightly.

"You think I'm joking Lucas? My mum literally came home with 7 different coloured, fluffy onesies the other night. And you're all gonna wear one. I swear she sees you as her own children." I said, rolling her eyes.

"What would we do without your mum?" Danni laughed. I relaxed happily against Luke, the sun shining brightly above. He pushed a pair of black sunglasses up his nose and beamed down at me, making my heart swell.

In double music that afternoon, I was working on recording a song with Luke in the studio as part of our new project that we had been set. Having decided to record one of his band's songs, we had already got the instrumental parts done earlier last week.

"Okay, start singing into the mic when you're ready." I said, slipping the headphones on again and pressing play on the recording of the guitars and drums so he knew when to come in.

"...I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted..."