Fat // Harry Styles

chapter seventeen

chapter seventeen

-HARRY STYLES-

SHE LOOKED SO beautiful under the moonlight; her long brown hair tousled with the breeze, her dark eyes looked as if they had sparkles in them, and unbelievably her shoulders weren't tense and her body wasn't stiff. There was such a comforting aura around her, laying there on the grass. I couldn't remember ever seeing her so at ease.

I also couldn't remember me ever expressing aloud how beautiful she was. I don't think Justin ever told her, or if he did, he didn't tell her enough. Because if he did, she wouldn't be so hard on her appearance and her weight. I needed to tell her I thought she was beautiful. I needed to, but I couldn't bring myself to just say it. She would see it as only a compliment but it would be so much more than that.

Chewing the inside of my cheek, I sat beside her and hunched my knees up, resting my elbows on them. From where we were sitting, you could see the mass of children going up and down the street, chatting excitedly amongst themselves how much candy they scored at each house. I wondered how much Desiree had gotten at this point. She'd been trick-or-treating for a good hour by now, probably taking every side road and ringing every doorbell Gemma's large neighborhood had to offer.

Delilah had been watching the crowd, too. "Do you ever miss it?"

"Being a child? All the time."

"It was nice when the amount of candy you got was the only thing you needed to be worried about."

I nodded. "Or about losing the race to the top of that thing," I said, pointing at the disarray of ropes we'd just climbed, and I'd won. She scoffed but smiled. I added, "The world isn't as fun when you aren't a kid."

She sighed, rolling over onto her stomach and shoving her face in the crook of her elbow. "I'm tired, but I'm not. Does that make sense?"

"Makes enough."

"Good, because I don't feel like explaining."

Hesitating only a moment, I went to lay down, resting my head on her back. I felt her laugh, but she didn't say anything, so I smiled to myself and closed my eyes. Tonight was one of those nights you didn't want to end, because when it did, it meant there was a chance of a night like it never happening again.

As if to prolong it, I changed the subject if only to hear her voice. "Remember my ex I told you about?"

"The one terrorizing Gemma?"

"Yeah, well, she showed up at the gym on Wednesday. I tried to hide in my office and told the receptionist to tell her I didn't work there, but she saw me before I could even close the door."

"What did she want?"

I snorted, squeezing my eyes a little tighter. "To try again. You know, give her another chance. Really, though, I think she just enjoys giving me a headache."

And I genuinely believed that. Nicole used to start arguments merely because she was bored. She'd act as if I'd done something wrong just for the attention I'd give her. She'd flirt with other guys to purposefully rile me up, and if I didn't give her the "jealous boyfriend lecture" she wanted, she'd get more and more daring with her flirting until I was so filled with anger, I'd storm out of wherever we were at.

It was a nightmare being with Nicole. The hardest part being that I was sure I'd fallen in love with her. We'd been together for a little over a year when I finally had had enough. I stayed in her apartment with her while I tried to scrounge money for my own place to live, but after that she'd woken up to an empty place beside her. I wasn't so cruel as to just disconnect myself completely. I tried talking to her the night before, yet she didn't take me seriously, so I wrote her a letter and left it on my side of the bed instead.