You're crashing but you're no wave

Tripping eyes and flooded lungs

"Mr Stump," I stood as protocol even though I knew what I was going to say next. "Would you care to address the court as to what the accused is accused of?"

"On the nightnteenth of July, 2006, after getting into an argument, Michael James Way attempted to break up with his boyfriend Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III. In anger, Mr Wentz attacked Mr Way. Once Mr Way had passed out, Mr Wentz proceeded to pick up the nearest tree branch and continue to beat Mr Way until he clearly couldn't be alive. Mr Way's skull was broken as well as both arms and a leg. His lung had been punctured as well as other injuries but clearly the fatal blow was to the head."

And the debate begun. There was CCTV footage of the scene and Pete's testimony where he admitted Mikey tried to leave him; Therefore there was no questioning Pete had murdered. The main argument was Pete's reasoning and if he deserves death row, prison or an asylum. Not only was the defense a stuttery, dumb mess but he also had a very monotone voice so I knew how unprofessional I looked when I slouched on my hand, on the verge of taking a nap.

I shouldn't do this...

I turned just enough that I could see Pete sat with the two large security guards. He was watching me. He didn't look mad or like he hated me, he looked kind of curious. I was never good at telling what people were thinking but that was my guess. Normally I would fidget away from someone staring at me but his gaze just felt too warm, too welcoming... I studied him and took in all his beauty. I smiled a little as my eyes tried to fall lower but there was a bench in the way. Just as I reconnected our eyes a tear fell from his. Now I definitely reacted physically to that. I sat up slightly and looked at him concerned. I imagine that my entire face read the words, What's wrong? But I heard the closing sentence from my opponent and got ready to begin mine. Seeing as I hadn't listened to anything he said I just decided to analyse the injuries on Mikey Way.

These days all seemed to blur together but then again it is a very big murder case so I guess I'm quite caught up in work.I was on my way into the courthouse when the press began to attack me for titles. They'll pay for whatever's worse so when I said my first opinion it wasn't good enough. I didn't want to say negative things about Pete, he didn't need that. But when they slipped me a hefty wad of money I had to just so I could carry out my plan this evening.

Today Pete has to talk. I'm not looking forward to it because I feel it'll be quite hard to listen to. Oh god what is wrong with me! This is all completely inappropriate. I struggled to reassure myself but I probably looked a little insane stood alone in the hallway.

I'm a kind person. I'm just trying to not make his life any worse. He's a child. There's no way he'll get away with this so why make his last days worse than they already are? Yes I'm gay and yes I think he's attractive. I'm not going to do anything about that because I mean, come on he's a killer! I just want to be kind to everyone....

I sat down muttering the last sentence over and over trying to let it be true. It didn't feel like long before Pete was brought onto the witness stand when in reality it was an hour. There were the obvious questions about the footage. He didn't bother saying he hadn't killed Mikey as there was footage of it and only a fool like his lawyer would even consider that. I had to argue against Pete. It was my turn. The only good thing that could possibly come out of this is that he's spoken to me. But this is it for any chance I had at him having a good impression of me.

"Mr Wentz," He nodded looking less tense with me than his fool and understandably more. "I don't have much to say to you you'll be glad to hear. But if you insist that you weren't aware of what you were doing, what would drive you to pick up an entire branch to use as a weapon? Surely you'd be aware of what you were doing at that point?" I tried to appear professional but I was starting to hate everything about this moment very quickly.

"I uhmm... Don't know..."

"Of course, you don't know. Do you think that validates it?"

"No I-"

"So you not only attacked who was supposed to be your lover but you claim you were unaware of all of it even when having to decide, find, acquire and use a weapon. All because what? He left you? Did he call you controlling? Did he say that you were abusive? Was he right?" Pete had been crying since the beginning but It had got worse and worse. I myself had tears falling down my cheeks catching the cold breeze on my hot, flush cheeks.

"No! That's not what happened at all!" Pete almost screamed in desperation. His voice cracking with fear and desperation.

"Then what would drive you to brutal murder if you didn't have a problem?" My voice cracked as I tried to remain stern.

"He cheated! Mikey cheated on me!"

"And yet you haven't mentioned this before?" There was yelling from the stalls as the family of Mikey began to yell obscenities and the judge called a break. As soon as the order was called, whereas all the other lawyers sat down I fled from the courtroom sobbing. Running to the bathroom stall reminded me of my high school years. I slammed the door shut and locked it, then proceeded to sink to the floor with my tear stricken face in my hands. How selfish of me. To sit here feeling sorry for myself when that poor young boy is fighting for his life.

Pete's head was bowed down and he seemed exhausted. It was the defending attorneys turn to question him and I was thankful I didn't have to or witness the brutal questions.

"Pete can you tell us about how Mikey cheated?"

"He messaged me telling me to meet him after school."

"Yes we know that part."

"He said he wanted to leave me. Then he turned away when I started asking questions. He said he had had an affair."

"Did he say who with?" There was a slight tilt of his head. "I'm sorry Peter you have to speak up."

"Yes... Frank..." The redheaded man in the audience stood up and the shorter boy next to him also stood, clinging to his arm. Pete didn't even look over and the red head pointed straight at Pete, about to say something when he was dragged out by the shorter.

Everyone knew who they were. Technically they were my clients. The brother of Mikey way, Gerard and his boyfriend, Frank. Questions were brewing in my head and I hated it because I knew I'd have to further push him like before. I would give anything to just keep quiet but if I messed this case up my life is over.

"Can you explain what he told you?"

"He- Uhm, he told me him and Frank had been messing around for a while and he liked him more than me and that he was better in b- I'm sorry..." Pete covered his face with his hands and began to sob again.

"That is all your honour." The lawyer sat down and it was my turn once again. Pete was still crying and I found it difficult to begin. I stuttered a few times and Pete had calmed down enough to look up. I tried to apologize with my eyes but he looked away from me almost irritated. I understood why, I was coming across pretty hypocritical.

"Pete my main issue here is why you didn't include this affair in your statement?" Pete kept staring somewhere different in the room, avoiding my gaze.

"Because I still loved him. I didn't want to add any disgrace to his name. Especially not after what I did. Gerard and Frank didn't deserve that either. I had done enough. I didn't want to make things worse for any of them. They didn't deserve the grief or their relationship broken up. Mikey didn't deserve his name dirtied. No one deserved any more than I had already done, least not from me." I didn't think I'd cry again but I did as he connected our eyes once again. One final tear of the day. You poor child. Oh Pete...

"That is all your honour." The day was over and although I cried in the car, I didn't go straight home. I went to the young offenders prison. With the money the press gave me I bailed Pete out. "Do I have to include my name?"

"No but we do need an address just to verify."

"Okay." I jotted my address down and got home as quickly as possible. "Just being kind just being kind..." I was whispering to myself as once again I was questioning my own actions.