You're crashing but you're no wave

Patrick's letter to Pete

SAME AS LAST TIME EXCEPT DIFFERENT SONG!!!! You have to listen to the light behind your eyes by My Chemical Romance. Again pleeeaasseeee do it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Pete,

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Not only have I killed you but I've killed myself. Something you undoubtedly wouldn't want to happen. Although I don't know, you might have been lying when you said it wasn't my fault.

Pete, I'm sorry. You can argue all you want but this will always be my fault. No matter what you say, I lead the prosecution against you. I put together all that evidence. I told them to kill you, and they did. This can never not be my fault. I've killed the only person I ever loved, there's nothing more for me to do but kill myself too.

You should be here now. I should be in your arms, feeling happy. This is the night we were holding out for. But now I've ruined that. In a way, it's for the best. You wouldn't have wanted me, not how I look. I would've repulsed you. I repulse myself even. The only way I can be less repulsive is if I'm rotting in the ground.

Pete, you were no, are everything to me. I've never felt how I felt with you. You did something. You did the impossible. You made me feel good when no one else had. I haven't felt anything good in so many years. How you could tell me I'm beautiful? I don't know but I started to believe it slightly. You really were fixing me Pete. But now you're gone, and the glue isn't dry yet but there's no one to hold me together until it is.

I need you. I need you so bad Pete I just- If there's a way I can be with you, I will. I am following you all the way to hell Pete, if you let me be your plus one. I don't think you want me to die. Knowing you, and how much you told me you loved me. But I'm sorry. I am so sorry Pete, I can't. I can not live without you beside me. I can't eat without your arms around my waist. I can't sleep without your heartbeat under my ear. That heart beat stops tomorrow. And yours does then so does mine. I can't breath without your lips. I can't live without you. I won't.

Let me tell you Pete. I hated myself. I still do. But I have never loved anything as much as I love you. I never will. Your soft hazel eyes, backed by a deep smooth brown, how they glow when you cry. I've seen you cry too many times my love. But your eyes never fail to light up. I can't bear to live in a world where you don't have the light behind your eyes. You've got that tan that brings so much life to your skin. I can't live in a world where that life is gone. You are the perfect image of beauty and I would never stop worshiping you.

I sent some money to your Mom in your name. I told her you loved her and you were sorry. I know you did, despite how she acted. I've also paid for us to be buried together. By the bridge we visited. I lied. I lied to you and I'm sorry. I did know what the bridge was called. I tried to kill myself from it when I was 14. I did that wrong as well. It's called The Phoenix bridge. I always went there. As beautiful as it is, I went there when I wanted to die. Except when I was with you. Because you made me want to live.

You have, you've made me want to live my life to the fullest. But I can't. Because now you're going, I'm alone again. And I can't do this without you. I'm so sorry

I can't do it Pete. I will never find someone like you. I will never be happy without you. We could have been married. Me and you, on our honeymoon, but I won't wake up next to you. Not tomorrow. Not the day after. Not another day in my life. I need you Pete. More than I need myself. Pete please... Forgive me. I can't let you go. Not on your own. I have nobody and I love you! I will never stop! I can't let you go... Pete...

See you on the other side. Pete.