Forever and Always

21.

India

I woke up in a hospital room. I stood up from the bed and walked into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. I looked good as fuck. I thought I was gonna have scratches and shit. Thank god I didn't.

I walked out of my room and got inside of the elevator. I pressed the lobby and waited to get down there. When I got there, I saw Tae bawled up in her seat crying on Chris shoulder. I looked over at Chris and he was holding back every single one of his tears.

I walked over to her and grabbed her shoulder. She didn't even move, it's like she didn't feel my touch. "Tae it's okay I'm right here." I said to her. She just continued crying. "Chris, tell her it's okay." He stared at the wall while rubbing Tae's shoulder.

"Guys can you hear me?" They continued to ignore me. What the fuck is going on? My doctor walked out and called for my family. Tae and Chris immediately stood up and walked over to him.

"Is she going to be okay?" Tae asked. "Yes, I'm right here I'm fine." I called out to her. She didn't even look at me. "It's hard to tell right now. She's in a coma. The good news is her baby is alright." The doctor responded. Coma? I'm not in a coma.

I touched my stomach and started to cry. I can't believe I tried to kill my baby. I'm so fucking stupid. "Can we go see her?" Chris asked. The doctor nodded his head and they followed him out.

"Bet you regret the shit you pulled don't you?" A familiar voice asked me. I turned around and my mother was standing there. "Mom what is this?" I asked her. She's dead. This isn't possible.

"You're in between life and death stupid." My mother said. I looked at her like she was crazy. I shook my head. "Uh uh. Nope. This shit isn't real. This is all just a dream that I'm going to wake up from. All I have to do is open my eyes." I closed my eyes tight and then opened them back up.

When I opened them I was standing in my hospital room. "That's you right there." My mother said pointing to me laying down in the hospital bed. I watched at how bruised up I look. My hair was a complete mess and I didn't look like myself. I looked away from my body.

"Why you looking away? You did this shit to yourself." My mother said. A few tears rolled down my cheek and my mother wiped them. "Don't cry. Why would you do this?" She asked me. I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know." I responded. She sucked her teeth. "Of course you know. I was with you the whole ride." I looked up at her.

"You were?" I asked. She nodded her head. "Yes, I'm always here with you and your brother whether the two of you know it or not. Up until this month I was proud of the two of you. What is going on with you guys?" She asked me. I put my head down. I felt ashamed. I know she was referring to Game and I know she was referring to my suicide attempt.

"Momma I'm sorry." I said to her. She rolled her eyes and pulled me in for hug. "I know child. You ought to be sorry. I'd beat your ass but I don't want to spend our little bit of time together like that." I pulled away from her. "Am I going to die?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders. "That's up to God sweety." I nodded my head.

"Come on I want to show you something." She grabbed my hand and guided me to the janitors closet. "Why are we going in here?" I asked her. She ignored me and pushed the door open. When we stepped inside, we walked into my old home back in Harlem.

We walked inside the house and into the living room. It was a flashback of my mother. She was pregnant with Ian and I at the time. "Mom why are we here?" I asked her. She shushed me and walked over to her younger self.

"This is back when your father left me when he found out I was pregnant. We were young and dumb then. It wasn't supposed to happen." She said breaking the silence. I just stared at the younger version of my mother. She was so pretty but you could tell she was depressed. "What did you do?" I asked my mother. She looked up at me. "I'll show you." She said.