Rollercoaster (CaKe Fanfic)

6. Crush

CARA

What have I got myself into? Something I never have ever planned on doing for a week ago, but yet here I am, in this thing called love. Yes, in love. Oh you're asking if I'm in love? Well that's another question.  I don't know myself, so we'll come back to that later folks. 

Anyway, I was making out with a girl on the school's toilet when Kendall came in. I ran after her when she left in a hurry. And then I found her under a tree, where i kissed her. But she said that I still was a bully and that it doesn't change anything even if I kissed her, and then she ran away again. And after that I haven't talked to her for a week. But what bugs me is that I never have stopped thinking about her. I usually stop thinking about a girl after never, because I never start thinking about them, I just touch them. Letting our bodies to the talk, you know. And now I can't stop thinking of her! 

I don't know why. And it's so damn frustrating! I asked Jourdan about it and she just said that I was being weird. And I asked the other ones but they just thought that I was kidding. So now I am so confused by myself and no one seems to want to help me about it! I have no other choice than ask my last 'friend' on my short friendlist. 

"Hey Kendall" I whispered in Kendall's ear at our math classes where we sit together.

She just rolled her eyes and didn't answer me. Even though we sit next to each other every math lesson, we haven't talked. I have no idea how, but we haven't, and that's it.

"Kendall, for real" I said again. "It's a math question!" I said again irritaded.

"What!?" she whispered back and looked at me.

I smirked at her for looking at me. 

"What is confused feelings plus thougts that never leaves?" I asked seriously.

"Seriously?" she asked and gave me a bitch-glance.

"Yes? I really need to know." I pleaded.

"Hmm, okay let's see... Confused feelings plus thoughts that never leaves equals... crush?" she said like it was a real math question. 

I looked at her with an amazed look. I think I maybe get it now.

"Thanks Kenny" I said and smiled to her. 

"You're welcome weirdo" she said and chuckled. "But I'm still mad at you." 

"Sure, as long as I know you're in my life, I don't care." I said and couldn't stop smile at her.

After the math, I met my friends at lunch.

"Guys I have an announcement to do. I have officially a crush on Kendall jenner!" I said like I was proud.

They just laughed. Really hard.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh my god! I can't believe our little Cara is finally feeling some feelings!" Becca teased me.

I faked a smile.

"Like you will ever feel any feelings Becca."

"Pff.... Heartless bitch." she just said and chuckled. Everyone laughed.

"Okay Cara, so what happened to bully Cara?" Dan asked.

"She's still here, I actually slapped this really annoying guy today. What about that eh?" 

"Okay good. I thought that bully Cara had left us." he said.

"First of all, no I'm still me, and second of all, I'm not a bully." 

"No you're not, you're the school's sweetheart!" they teased me again.

"Okay I get it" I think I just accepted myself as a bully. And I have to say, I can't change that. Not even for Kendall. That's just who I am, a bully, AT SCHOOL. I'm pretty sure I'm not a bully outside the school. And if I remember it right, Kendall promised me to show her some real romance. I haven't forgotten that. I'm gonna show her how I can be kind and nice and all that  crap.