Seattle Angel

L.A to Seattle

Next Day-
June 7th 1985
Los Angeles

(**Warning my writing is terrible in this chapter**)

Duffs pov:

Its almost 8 o'clock in the morning, i have been awake since 5am. Awake and ready for the gigs that are already booked and awaiting us, around my home town.

For the past three hours i have been trying to get the guys hungover arses up, I am surprisingly the most keen to get going.

We did plan to leave at around 5am but that's not going to happen. Since we all got wasted last night celebrating such an awesome, ultimate high gig.

It was like electric magic, you had to be there to really get the feeling of the whole atmosphere of our playing. You could not compare it to anything else.

We all play and get along like a house on fire. So we know that this is going to be the ultimate line up for Guns n Roses.

If we can survive this tour... there will be no stopping us.

I did try very hard to control myself last night, knowing that we had to get up early for today. Considering i would usually easily out drink anyone around me.

Although i think from now on Slash would be giving me a good run for my money.

But right now i am high on two emotions.. my anxiety i know and experience all to well, & excitement.

I have been lucky i have not been struck with my extreme heart pounding, numbing anxiety attacks. That have me and leave me feeling like i am sucked into a deep dark pit that i cannot move out of, let alone breathe. For quite a few months now.

But that's why when i can sense one coming or feel highly strung and stressed, my vodka seems to be the best at getting me through it.

 I have had these attacks since i was a kid. My very first anxiety attack which i was highly distressed from busting my farther Mac cheat on my mother. With numerous women around town and bottling it up whilst i thought of a way to tell her or if I even should.

One morning I was taking a shower before school, when all of a sudden my knees just dropped. It felt as if the bottom of the shower stall floor was falling in on itself and i was falling through with it.

All I could do was scream and cry having no control on anything that was happening.

Next thing i remember was my mother running into the bathroom, frightened seeing her boy in such a state she pulled me out the bathroom, taking me straight to the emergency room at the local hospital she worked at.

I figured at first it was from taking all the pot, alcohol, mushrooms, valium, you name it, from what i started taking secretly when i was in the 4th grade.

It was all very easy to get a hold of from all the older kids around my neighbourhood. Until the doctor told me that I suffered from then on, what they call an acute panic attack.(this all really happened!)

The only people that have ever really managed to help and calm me through these horrible attacks was my Ma & best bud Megan.

The first attack Megan helped me through was only a few days after meeting her, when she just moved to Seattle.

I thought it would of scared her away thinking i was weird or something, but she later told me that she has suffered with anxiety & attacks since she was a kid also.

She always reassured me by holding me & reassuring me with her soothing words of hope.

She always stuck with me through the attacks no matter how long they went on for, because she knew what it was like first hand.