Seattle Angel

Seattle Angel's Pain

Same day-
June 7th 1985
Meanwhile in Seattle

"No please honey!, pl-please don't" i cry and beg to my boyfriend Ben, who is holding me by the collar of my shirt against a wall with his other fist raised.

"Why? You fu#king deserve it!". I then feel the sharpest slap across my cheek, my head hanging low my face soaked in hot tears that are streaming down my face.

I hold my hand on my now stinging cheek which i can feel it swell with every second passing.

"I never did anything to you.. but love you!" I attempted to yell but it came out more like a loud whisper.

"Your a fu#king slut!, is what you are!" He yells in a harsh and sharp tone. I can smell alcohol on his breath as he yells.

"You are nothing!!" He yells again as i hear a loud crack, as his fist now met my same cheek.

I fall down against the wall onto the ground, now on my hands and knees holding myself up.

Crying aloud holding onto my cheek now feeling really dizzy, as if I am going to pass out. As i take my hand off my cheek I see it has a little blood on it.

As I look up , I see my asshole boyfriend rummaging through my handbag and purse taking the little bit of money I did have.

He leaves out the front door slamming it on his way out. Leaving me alone... then everything went black.

"NO!!" I yell, now awake and struggling to breathe, with tears in my eyes and sweat dripping off my entire body.

My hands and knuckles are white from gripping onto my bed sheets for dear life. My eyes are wide open, shooting around trying to comprehend if it was happening all over again.

As i look around my bedroom trying to calm my breathing, i realize it wasnt happening again. I can't say it was all just a bad dream because it really did happen..
and all to often.

The abusive behavior of my now ex whom we dated for roughly a year and a half.

I was feeling really alone, I desperately missed Duff being around and only a few months after he left my Grandmother passed away from cancer.

My life became so dark and lonely in a very short period of time. I really did not want to live, to live my life in such a dark horrible pit of loss & depression.

So when I met Ben not long after, I thought my life wouldn't be so horrible.

I really thought he was a genuine, loving, caring man who I could love and he would love me back. Just to feel the slightest happiness I used to know, but if only i knew how much worse it was going to become.

He was only nice for a short amount of time in the beginning of the relationship. Then he started being rough and forceful towards me and abusive all the time.

He also became very controlling, especially when it came to me socializing with the couple of people i do.

He always appeared like he hated me talking on the phone, even if it was a wrong number.

Most people are always quick to say, if you are in an abusive relationship to just leave straight away but its not always that easy.

For me the whole year and a half spent with him, I didn't know where to go or what I should do. I knew he would find me no matter what I would do.

All I wanted was the two people, who were no longer with me.

The dream i just had all really did happen to me only last week. I made sure it was the last time he would hit me.