suicide hotline » styles

\\letter one\\

  july 28, 2015 01:11 am  

dear harry,

i feel empty again. 

you gave up on me.

i get why i am not good enough for you. i am not worth the wait. i have been disappointed by so many people in my life harry, and now you will be added to my never-ending list of names. you probably thought you were special right? you are not. i am so sorry for being angry at you

you have the right to disappear. i was in a coma for half a year, i get it. but i think i would have never stopped calling, even if you were dead. i would not stop visting, even when i had to visit your grave. do you understand what you did to me? do you understand what it feels like to wake up and find out that the only person who said he would be there, wasn't there to comfort me? no you don't. because you are happy, and i am not.

being unhappy is not a state of mind for me harry, i can't just snap out of it. you probably think i feel sad all the time. but that is not true, i don't feel sad, i am sad. i am the sadness itself. i am my own self-destruction. i am my thoughts, and my thoughts destroy me. therefore i destroy myself. you can't fix me. is it so hard for you to understand? 

anyway, harry. i want you here. please come visit me. i am sorry for my letter. but i needed to tell you how i felt. 

i need you

please call me,

lauren.

      ☁ 

love is not always good, kids. love can destroy you. 

//don't forget that my fanfics are not happy at all. so don't be sad when it is over. i will try to update more, even though i know no one reads these anymore//  lots of love, sarah //