Chim- Change your life

Chapter 10

(Kimberley's POV)

Maybe I was scared of the rejection. Maybe it was the way my stomach was doing crazy flips, giving me feelings I have never felt before. Feeling that were so strong they took up my mind, no space left to properly think, feelings that I didn’t even know existed, feelings that I never even had with my ex Justin. Maybe it was the fact that she was a woman, and I was straight…at least I thought I was.

The kiss was electric though. It was like heaven, no wait, it was heaven. My heaven was with her. Her luscious silk like lips placed firmly against mine. It was a high, the sweetest high I have ever had in my life. It all ended too soon though, because she backed away and I ran. She obviously didn’t want it and I didn’t want to hear the rejection, or sit there in an unpleasant silence so I ran. One second I was on cloud nine, and the next I was crashing from the high.

That night I ran off straight to my car not even looking back. I didn’t give her anytime to speak after my hurried goodnight. I wasn’t even in control of my own legs as I swiftly made my way down the walkway into the car lot, my heart beating through my chest at the speed of light. My hand clashed with the cold metal handle of the car, swinging the door open so quickly I thought it may break off the hinges. It was as if I was in a race against time to leave and if I didn’t leave soon enough I would actually die. All I wanted was for the ground to swallow me up, never to be seen or heard from again. I ruined it, our friendship. I wish I could go back in time, go back and listen to that little voice inside my head that was screaming don’t do it, but I can’t.

When I got home that night she rang me numerous times, and sent multiple texts, begging for me to reply, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. How could I after I had just done that? So I curled into a ball on my couch, my body physically too drained to make it up the stairs into my bed that rest in the master bedroom. I didn’t know what to do or think I felt emotionally numb and confused. I laid there, the regret and fear washing over me as I drifted into a deep slumber.

That night I dreamt about her, her face branded into my brain, tattooed into my frontal lobe. Every little detail of her identical as she was in reality: her perfect dark curls, her adorable and innocent laugh, the way her eyes light up with passion when she talks about something she loves, the sadness that filled them when I cuddled her into the early morning, her pearly white teeth, her olive tanned skin, the little worry lines she gets when she’s in deep thought…every little detail etched perfectly into my brain, never to be removed or forgotten.

The next day I rang Nicola, and asked her to come over. Thinking my red headed friend could help me get my mind off the petite Geordie even though she didn’t know what was going on. She suggested a girls shopping day; I figured a little retail therapy could do some good.

*flashback*

“Normally I wouldn’t say anything babe, but your phone is ringing like mad. Aren’t you going to answer it?” my attention being drawn away from the pair of pink heels I was trying on, I went over to look at my phone. I had missed 5 calls, all from Cheryl. I wish I had the courage to talk to her, but I didn’t. I switched my phone off and tucked it into my pocket. “Who was it?” Nic asked, a bit of worry flickering in her eyes.

“Um, just… Justin.” I was kicking myself at my excuse. Justin? JUSTIN?! Kimberley Jane that is the worst lie you could have ever told right now. You haven’t even spoken to him since you split, 3 months ago.

“Oh? Wait, I thought you guys weren’t on speaking term though, since, you know…” she trailed off, her eye getting caught on a pair of silver heels.

“Well, we aren’t. I mean I’m not… I don’t know why but he keeps ringing a lot lately.” I said, trying to come up with a back story that sounded semi truthful.