Chim- Change your life

Chapter 12

(Kimberley's POV)

My mind has been boggling all day, so many emotions coursing through my brain and body. When I woke up this morning I was in a stage of fear, which then turned to nervousness, followed by panic, and so on. I was basically playing every emotion all at once. How was I going to deal with seeing her today? Will she even speak with me? How awkward is it going to be? I mean, I kissed her, I ran, and worst of all I ignored her after she tried to get in contact with me. Thoughts of how today would…or could go were wracking my mine non-stop. At this moment in time though, I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know what to feel. At this point in time I believe I’m in a neutral emotion, an emotion that is expressionless.

“Kimba are you ready?” Nicola yells from the front room, followed by the slamming of the front door.

“Yeah babe, I’ll be out in a moment.” I shouted back as I walked over to the mirror to get one final glance at myself.

It’s going to be ok; everything is going to be ok. Just stay calm. Cheryl will forgive you and you will move on with your friendship. Friendship that’s all it is and all it ever will be. The kiss was an accident, of course it wasn’t but…she’ll understand. Maybe.

“Kimberley, what are you doing? Come on we’re going to be late!” The young red headed girl yelled, he voice echoing through the house.

“Sorry, I’m coming.” And with that I threw my jacket on and made my way into the front room.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you today babe? You’ve been acting a bit off especially on the phone earlier, I thought you’d be more enthused to get out of this stuffy flat to be honest.”

“Nothing Nic, I’m perfectly fine.”

“Are you—“

“I’m sure, you just… you wouldn’t understand it.” I muttered.

“You can tell me anything you know, especially if something is bothering you.” She said as she placed a reassuring hand on my arm, I shrugged it off not in the mood for her comfort. “Is it still over that whole Justin thing the other day?”

“No, it’s not about him. I’m positive, there’s nothing to worry about.” I snapped, immediately regretting my chosen tone of voice as soon as I saw the flash of hurt on her face. “I’m sorry babe; I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just, everything is ok.”

“Seriously Kimba, what has gotten into you these past few days? At first I thought it was the whole Justin thing with him ringing you while we were out, but now I don’t know. I can tell that something is obviously bothering you and you aren’t acting like yourself at all. I can’t help you if you don’t tell Me.” the young girl questioned, an annoyed tone evident in her voice, and a sense of hurt from my actions still playing about in her eyes.

“It wasn’t even Just--” stopping my sentence immediately not wanting to give out any of the details of who was really ringing me and what was actually going on. “Can we just go, please before the others wonder where we are?” I said, wanting to get off this subject.

I almost told her, a part of me wanted to tell her. Apart of me just wanted to tell someone, anyone who would listen, and anyone who would get it and not judge me. That part of me wasn’t as strong as the bit that just wanted to just hide away, the part that felt stupid, embarrassed, and this part definitely didn’t want to talk about what events had happened. Hopefully tonight will go along well and everything will go back to normal; it’s all I can hope for at this point.