The Girl who Writes and the Boy who Likes her (Now Published So Sample Only)

Chapter 6

© 2013 Sandra Corton

Journal entry 4 Book 2

I guess he knew the truth now. After my panic attack he called my parents. I am such a freak! I don't know why I'm still here in this world. Why are people like him so nice to me? I don't deserve any type of niceness from anyone and yet they all give it to me.

How am I going to face him at school next week? He keeps trying to visit me at home but I just stay in my room and avoid him. I can't bear to see him. What if he got the same expression that Mum and Thomas often had?

Some days they just stared at me as though I was a lost cause. Sometimes though they looked at me with such guilt in their eyes that I wondered where that came from.

I can only wonder why this all had to start happening now. Dad's anniversary is getting closer and I am less stable as the day's inch nearer to it. I don't want to go back to school but I miss Zach's warm smile. Even though I had been avoiding him, I miss him terribly. Just like I miss my Dad every minute of every day.

Chapter 6

Zach stared at the television screen in front of him rather blankly. How did he tell her that everything she remembered was only seen through her eyes? Objectively, looking at her situation it was obvious that none of it was her fault.

Emily had been avoiding him since his party when he was forced to call her parents. He hadn't known what to do to help her through the distress that gripped her tight, so he had done the next best thing. June had looked surprisingly angry while Thomas had seemed utterly defeated, when they were forced to return abruptly from their opera trip.

"Are you still thinking about her?" Baz asked from where he was sprawled on Zach's bed, game controller in hand.

"What made you ask that?" Zach scowled at his friend.

"The fact that I actually won a game." Baz chortled as he grabbed a handful of chips and tossed them into his mouth.

"Yeah, well it won't be happening again so don't hold your breath." Zach said forcing a smile onto his face.

"What's going on with you two anyway?" Baz asked as he paused the game and turned to his friend.

"I don't know." Zach murmured and Baz let out a snort "I really haven't got a damn clue okay!"

"Geez it's pretty darn obvious from the way I look at it." Baz smirked as he picked up a miniature basketball and threw it in the hoop across the room "Ha ha he shoots, he scores!" Baz started doing a mini dance and Zach couldn't help but splutter with laughter.

"So oh great one, what's so pretty damn obvious to you?" Zach threw his controller down with a grunt.

"She likes you and you like her. Hell it's been practically a given since the day you met her." Baz said with a shrug and Zach's jaw dropped open in shock.

"What makes you think she likes me?" Zach asked curiously feeling a huge well of hope swelling inside him.

"You really are quite blind." Baz rolled his eyes and Zach leaned over to thump him in the arm "Let's start with she gave you a freaking awesome car for your birthday." Baz said simply.

"It's just 'cause she doesn't like cars." Zach trailed off.

His thoughts went to why she was so petrified of cars. His parents had told him all about the Dawson's after the party debacle. He knew all about the accident now. Every time he had been with a panicked Emily in the car made sense now. Her complete freak out of getting in the front seat was now completely logical.

"Earth to Zach!" Baz threw a couple of chips at his head which Zach quickly snatched up and ate before smirking at his friend.

"It's gotta be more than the car." Zach mused to himself and was surprised when Baz slapped him in the back of the head. Zach turned to him with a glare only to see a serious look on his friends face.

"That girl stares at you like you're her God." Baz stated and Zach stared at him hard.

"She does not." Zach snorted.

"Hell yeah she does! Why do you think Alyssa is so pissed about the whole situation?" Baz chortled.

"Ugh don't remind me about Alyssa!" Zach growled making Baz laugh even harder.

"We'll you've been pretty blind about her too."

At that Zach wrestled a belly laughing Baz off the bed. They scrabbled around each other for a while until Zach had him in a headlock. Even though he was still laughing, Baz managed to pull away and throw a game controller Zach's way.

"Seriously man, take it out on the game, not me." Baz said as Zach caught the controller with a grumble.

Baz restarted the game and Zach tried to concentrate on it. Thoughts of Emily distracted him as did what he should do about Alyssa, so he lost another game. Zach gave in on a groan, today just wasn't going to be a winning day.

Zach nervously drove to Emily's house. He wasn't sure whether she would even accept a lift with him after she had been ignoring him all week. He had made a deal with her that he would drive her to school and he wasn't going to let her forget that.

He had a far longer trip planned soon so he wanted her to be used to getting in the car and being driven around. He was just as uncertain about that trip as he was driving to her house today. It was what he felt she needed. She had written that for the past few years she had missed it and he was determined for her not to miss it again.

He pulled up at her house and sat in the car composing himself for a moment or two. He got out with his grin set in place and a fierce need for her to agree with what he was doing. He knocked on the door which was opened by Charles the butler, who smiled at him.

"She is having breakfast young Sir." Charles said politely.

"Thanks Charles." Zach said before heading straight for the kitchen.

Emily wasn't ready for him to breeze into the room so casually. He grinned at her before putting toast in the toaster and making himself completely at home. She had expected him to look at her differently now that he knew about the accident but he didn't.

"So I hope you're ready for me to drive you to school." Zach said as he spread butter on his toast. She sent him a perplexed look so he rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically. "I said I would drive you to school every day remember. So here we are, first day of school and the awesome car you gave me is sitting out the front waiting for you." He bit into his toast and grinned triumphantly at her.

Those confident brown eyes almost dared her to agree. She wanted to, more than she would ever like to admit. The size of that sports car was what had her worried the most. She had wished her family had thought about a more suitable car for her than just the looks of the car. Surely they would have known that. She had never understood why they thought she would like that car.

Once the silent breakfast was done, Zach reached for her hand to tug her outside. She pulled him up short with a vicious shake to her head. Instead she led him over to the garage.

"Okay Em I give, why are we here when there is a perfectly good car outside?" Zach asked curiously.

He looked around the cavernous interior of the garage. He had never been down here before. He was shocked by the number of fancy cars that were parked there. He realised then that Thomas was quite a car collector.

"Safety." She whispered as she went to a wall of keys.

If she was going to be in a car the she was determined it would be the most spacious and safest one she could get into. She handed him a set of keys while pointing to a dark blue sedan that seemed comfortable but rather sedate and boring from Zach's point of view. He raised his eyebrows at her but she made a gesture that seemed to say it was this car or nothing.

"Fine Em. So are you trying to tell me you gave me an unsafe car as a birthday present?" He teased and her eyes went wide.

She quickly shook her head wondering how she could explain it to him. That car just made her feel enclosed, claustrophobic and intensely uncomfortable. The fact that there were only two seats didn't help, instead it added to the fear that took hold of her.

Having to sit in the front seat of any car was heart rending, devastating and terrifying for her. It was something she had managed to avoid these last few years. She had felt bad for Zach on his birthday. She had given him a car and then basically forced him not to drive it. This was what had made her get into his car.

The disappointment on his face had stirred something inside of her. She had never been more scared in her life than on that drive but she would never admit it to him. It had nothing to do with his driving ability and everything to do with the accident.

"Don't worry I know the car is fine." Zach reassured her as he got into the sedan and started the engine "Are you sure it's okay we take this car?" He asked seriously.

"Yes." She answered decisively. She didn't care what either of her parental figures thought, but she would leave them a note.

"So how do I get out?" Zach asked her.

Emily who was still standing outside the car pointed to something in the console and Zach saw a remote. He pressed the button and the large garage door rolled silently open. Emily glanced between the car and Zach while biting her lip. Oh how she hated cars!

"You need to get your bag Em, or we're going to be late." His wryly said words snapped her from her daze.

Emily dashed back inside the quiet house. Thomas would have already left for work while she knew her mother would still be sleeping. She was used to her quiet mornings and then riding her push bike to school. It seemed that things were changing this year.

She heard Zach toot the horn so she quickly grabbed her bag. She turned back and scribbled a quick note for her mother about the car before rushing outside.

He was pulling his bag from inside his own car when she threw hers into the boot of the sedan. She wondered if she could bring herself to sit in the front seat. She would feel so weird sitting in the back where she couldn't have his warm fingers keeping her calm as they held her own.

"C'mon Em, English first today. Hope you got that Hamlet assignment done." Zach said as he shut the boot and got in the car.

She nodded her head absently in answer as she tried to decide where to sit. He smiled encouragingly at her and held out his hand across the console. With a deep sigh she got in the front seat for the second time in as many weeks. They were driving down the road with silence between them when Zach glanced at her briefly.

"Look I've got to say this and I'm hoping it won't upset you." He took a deep breath after that. "I'm sorry about you losing your Dad. That must really suck. Oh gawd that sounds so lame but I'm not going to tell anyone about it or anything okay." He said sincerely as he squeezed her fingers gently.

She blinked back tears knowing how hard it can be to say something like that. At her Dads funeral, people had been so unsure how to act around her. She still had her arm in a cast, a bandage around her injured head and looked rather battered. They had made sympathetic gestures or tried to hug her but she had refused them all.

"Thank you." Emily said simply.

When they arrived at the school everyone turned their heads to look at them making Emily feel self-conscious. Zach, with his confidence in place as usual, simply got out of the car and fetched their bags from the boot. He went straight back to Emily, grabbed her hand and tugged her to their classes.

They were in English when Emily first took stock of how calm she was. She had been driven in a car, had all the other kids staring at her and yet she wasn't stressed at all. She quickly glanced at Zach who was behind her only to meet Alyssa's steely look. Her heart clenched and she turned back to the front vowing not to look Zach's way again.

"Right class, Hamlet assignments are due today." A collective groan went through the room "Yes I know I know it's so tough to be you all." Mrs Hamilton rolled her eyes as she went around collecting papers

"I wanted to inform you all that after we finish Hamlet in a few weeks we will be doing a round of public speaking. I thought it's better that I tell you now so you can be prepared. You will have a lesson to prepare your topic and then be marked on how well you deliver it." The teacher explained cheerily.

Emily though felt rocks of dread begin crunching in her stomach. She didn't speak to anyone besides her family and now Zach. How could she possibly make a speech and present it to all of these people? She was unable to stop her eyes drifting to Zach again. This time his eyes met hers and he sent her an encouraging smile.

With that class as the start to her day, Emily was sure that it would not get much better and she was right. As she went to sit outside during lunch she felt an elbow thrust harshly into her stomach. She turned to see Alyssa, her face alight with an intense fury and jealousy smothering her features.

"What do I have to do to get you to back off?" Alyssa snarled, shoving her face into Emily's.

Emily had never been much of a fighter but her Dad had taken her to a self-defence course when she was younger. Even as fear gripped she was planning how to get this girl away from her.

"You and your rich little booty needs to pack up and get the hell away from Zach." Alyssa said with slitted eyes as she poked Emily hard in the ribs.

At the last moment Emily grabbed that finger and pushed it backwards, startling the other girl. Emily quickly deflected the girl trying to punch her with her other fist. She grasped her arm, turned the girl away from her and pushed her arm up behind her back.

Alyssa let out a rather shocked squeal before Emily let her go and went to walk away. Her heart was now pounding with anxiety and stress. She needed to be out of here. Alyssa though reached out and pulled on Emily's ponytail hard so she could no longer escape.

"Let her go Alyssa." Zach's voice sounded sternly from behind them and Alyssa instantly released her.

A crowd had gathered, all excited eyes waiting for the fight to begin. They were quickly disappointed as the two girls stepped apart. Alyssa turned back to Zach trying to look as innocent as possible while Zach just glared at her.

"Don't try and pretend." Zach growled at her and Alyssa backed up a little "Why are you being so mean to her? Emily has never done a damn thing to you!" Alyssa looked at the ground at his accusation.

"Oh come on Zach isn't it obvious?" Alyssa said sweetly as she took one step closer to him.

"Look Alyssa I can't be friends with you when you act like this towards someone that is innocent." Zach said decisively as he reached a hand out for Emily while Alyssa let out a gasp.

"So that's it? We aren't friends anymore?" Alyssa said in complete disbelief.

"Pretty much. I always thought you were a pretty cool chick until I noticed how you treated Emily." Zach said with a shrug as his fingers grasped Emily's.

"You just like her 'cause she's rich and gave you a car." Alyssa said angrily but Zach refused to rise to her bait.

"If you believe that then you never truly knew me Alyssa." Zach told her sadly before walking out of the canteen with Emily by his side.

He frowned and ran a hand through his hair as Emily watched him with awe filled eyes. Had he really just defended her right there in front of the whole school? She was still in shock at what had just occurred.

Her heart was still pounding from when Alyssa had first shoved her but now it was because of Zach. He was always so sweet and kind to her. Now she had to add protective in there as well. She felt bad for the loss of friendship between Zach and Alyssa; though it was obvious that was mostly Alyssa's own fault.

"Em I....gee look I'm sorry she keeps treating you like this." Zach stopped and turned to her looking upset while Emily just shook her head.

"Hey you two!" An unfamiliar voice called out to them so they turned their gazes on him. Emily gulped when she realised it was a prefect. Was she in trouble for what had happened in there?

"Yeah what?" Zach said calmly as his fingers stroked along her hand soothingly.

"You're both needed in the principal's office." The guy gestured towards the administration building and Emily felt dread fill her.

She had never in her life been in trouble. Besides the accident with her father, she had always done the right thing. Her old friends had always called her a goody two shoes but she had never cared. The last thing she had ever wanted was to have this horrible feeling inside her that she did right now.

"It's alright Em, you did nothing wrong." Zach tried to reassure her as they walked towards the building.

She felt an almost desperate need to run in the opposite direction but her feet kept walking her towards her doom. Anxiety clutched at her threatening to overwhelm her senses and drag that dark cloud over her head once again. She clung to Zach's calming presence as her only life raft in a sea of uncertainty.

She stared at the large office and even larger man behind the desk. He had a stern face but surprisingly kind eyes when she dared to quickly glance at him. Alyssa followed them into the room looking both angry and worried.

"I heard there was a disturbance in the lunch room today." The Principal looked at the three of them with questioning eyes.

"Yes Sir." Zach answered quickly.

"Could I have it explained to me then?" The older man placed his hands on the top of the desk and marched his fingers decisively on top of it.

"Alyssa was bullying Emily." Zach said simply and both girls gasped.

"Hey she hurt me too." Alyssa quickly defended herself and the Principal stared at her until she backed down.

"Thank you for telling me the truth Mr Carter. Were you only using self-defence Miss Dawson?" The Principal turned to Emily who managed to nod through the anxiety that began overtaking her.

"Zach." Emily's whispered word caught his attention and he turned to her.

Her face was pale and he could feel her shivers increasing. He remembered this reaction from when she had been sitting on his bed on his birthday. He knew now that she had medication to help her cope when the attacks came on.

"Where's your tablets Em?" He asked her quietly.

"Do we have a problem Mr Carter?" The Principal asked seriously.

"I think Emily is having an attack and need her tablets Sir." Zach said simply, his voice rising in panic.

"Ah I see. Go to the sick bay with Miss Dawson, the nurse will give you her medication that is kept there." The Principal told them kindly.

Zach was thankful to be close to the sick bay as Emily seemed as though she was unable to move very far at all. Her body was stiff and unyielding but she managed to step slowly out of the room. Zach heard the Principal continuing to talk rather firmly to Alyssa but he couldn't care. Emily was his only focus right now. He whispered words of encouragement in her ear until they finally made it into the sick bay.

He stayed with her as she lay on the uncomfortable looking cot in the sick bay. The nurse tried to shoo him back to his classes but he refused to budge. She eventually came out of the attack and Zach could finally breathe again.

"Hey Em, how are you?" He asked softly as she blinked disoriented eyes at him.

"Zach." She whispered his name which drifted over him like a soft breath of hope.

She surprised him by reaching out a shaky hand to touch his cheek. He smiled at her and she sent a tiny one back to him. He realised then that Baz might have been right. Maybe she did like him as much as he liked her. That was enough to lift his spirits above all the bad stuff that had happened today.

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