Leandro's Daughter

Late Night Thoughts

When I got home all ah nigga wanted tuh doh was roll up. But I never knew shit would get to me. They always say shit don't hit you hard into you bout to die or you by yourself. And right now I'm by myself. I'm a real fuck up never had nobody, never really had love but once.

I grew up in a foaster home after my family was murdered. Back then I used to be that kid, with all the shoes and just everything. My father was a natural born hustler.
One thing ill never forget that he said to me was you work hard for what you want, never let someone hand it to you cause you'll never really appreciate it.

*flash back*
Ant!! My mom yelled
"Yes mama damn"
"Boy you better watch yo mouth, fa I pop you in it but go was the dishes so I can cook."
"Aight but did you bring me a kitt Kat and Arizona drink?"
"Yeah baby I'll never forget your favorite but after you eat dinner you can eat them."
I was washing the dishes when I saw my daddy come home, he never came home this earlier or hardly ever because he had to work hard for us. I went back I washing dishes looking down into I heard screaming and yelling. I ran into the living room seeing my daddy dripping in blood. It was terrifying.
"Shitt! Ion even know why I came here I put you all in danger. Damn I'm so sorry"
"So does this mean we are going to die" I asked my dad
"Nah ain't don't say that shit we not bout to go down like no pussies, ima fight to my last breath aight."
Me being a child I nodded my head knowing I had a bad feeling.
My mama took me the kitchen and put me in the cabinet. She rubbed her hand over my dreads and face looking sad.
"Mama what's wrong"
"Nothing I love you Ant never forget that."
" Ok mama I love you too but why are you speaking like that."
"Well Ant honey , I don't kno--
She said before she was cut off by gun shots.Her eyes widened and she hugged me and kissed my cheek.
"Me and your father love you so much never forget that, stay quiet for mommy please don't come out into you don't hear a thing."
"Ok?"
"Ok but mama don't leave me. Promise me you won't go" I said crying
She looked down at her hands and said I promise and walked away. After she walked away all I heard was gun shots and screaming. It continued into all I could here was my heart beat.
When I got out the cabinet I ran to the living room to see my parents sitting there dying.
"Mama!!"
"Dad"
"Please wake up you promised you would not leave"
Your promise
I sat there and hugged them crying. I heard the police sirens and they came in and started questioning me.
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I never knew that I would end up in a foaster system treated like shit. Every time I got out with a foaster family I would end right back into the system. The family's could never take how much of a angered boy I was.
I had no one, I was angry and they wanted happy kids. But why would I be happy if I'm alone in the world. Every once in a while they would donate clothes for us but sometimes they got to little or was raggedy and the other kids would try and take your stuff.
So I started hustling at 14 so I could get my own shit. It felt good to have my own shit but trouble also came with it, it made me more angrier. I felt big because I was making money. The more I got into the streets the more the anger about my family being murdered made me wanna find they killers.