Becoming Mrs.Grahamsteen

4.An Unimmaculate Conception

'Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.'— Rumi

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Sara hung her arm over the entrance of the kitchen as she watched her sister scurry through the kitchen looking for the chutney sauce. She shook her head at Veronica , it was right there on the kitchen counter and Veronica had passed it like five times now in the process of scrambling for the same bottle that was right before her, in plain sight. She was so absentminded and distracted of recent.

Sara rolls her eyes and decides to put her sister out of her misery.
"Veronica." She calls quietly to Veronica who is still desperately searching the kitchen and doesn't even hear Sara.

"Veronica the—"

"I need that damn chutney. Where the hell is it?" She says to herself as she flings the cupboards open.

"Veronica, but it's —"

"The gravy is nothing without the chutney, S! I need to find the chutney!" She yells and throws her hands in the air despondently.

"Veronica! What the hell, it's right there! On the counter!" Sara screams at her now startled sister while pointing at the bottle of sauce in aggravation.

Veronica follows Sara's long index finger to the counter top and once her eyes rest upon the bottle of chutney that she has just spent forever looking for, she begins to flush in embarrassment. She takes a deep breath and courageously directs her gaze back to Sara who is giving her that look. That something-is-going-on -with-you-and-you're-hiding-it-from-me look.

Throughout all the years that Sara had known Veronica, she could tell when something huge was plaguing her sister because Veronica would become so vague and distraught. She would become so delirious and very absentminded. For example— When she lost Sara's favorite pair of earrings, she became frantic just like she was right now. She was so frustrated from looking for a blouse that ended up being the one she was wearing.

One time when she'd lost her first job and didn't know how to tell Sara, she had taken her truck keys and walked to their neighbor's car to open it. You should have seen how angry she was when the key wouldn't fit and the car door wouldn't open. If by some angelic miracle the car door did open, Veronica would definitely have gotten in and driven to work without raising a brow. Maybe she would have figured it out by lunch or something.

Sara knew for sure that since history was repeating itself and this time, in a way she had never seen before then Veronica was not okay. She was hiding something big from her, something Sara hoped had nothing to do with her very often outings or that new job she got or the fact that she was stealing into the house at one O'clock at night.

"What is going on with you Veronica?"  Sara asks, folding her arms and cocking her head to one side.

Veronica stares at her sister vaguely, aware that she has just committed a major fuck-up. Damn it, she needed to pull herself together. Sara couldn't find out about how she intended to settle her hospital bills, she would never allow her to go through with it. She would rather die than allow Veronica to have a baby and give it up.

"V, you can tell me." Sara says softly.

"N-nothing, I just wanted the fucking chutney really bad." Veronica lies as she presses the heel of her palm to her forehead and shakes her head.

Sara looks at her sternly, narrowing her eyes at her sister. Veronica, sweet, sweet Veronica. I literally raised you and you're a hopeless liar.